An Age of Mysterious Memories

B 2 C 24: Lucky

Lao quietly announces, “Welcome to the family Lucky. So named for how much luck we’ve had to thrive through so much strife, for how much we still yet have.” She presses her forehead to that of the great beast. Oddly, Lucky doesn’t join the party, they seem to be only for Lao.

Lucky’s body is all sleek muscle and tense sinew, it emanates the intensity of a comet bearing down. Lucky’s presence is tangible strength, and comfort, and calming. I can see why Lu would be willing to go through what she did in order to give Lao this protector, to bring Lucky into our family.

Lu needles me telepathically, “You know I didn’t do it just for that, meanie. So many things had to happen, and you know how much I love you, as much as you adore me. You do adore me, don’t you?”

I gulp and blush for a moment in the telepathic bond, “Of course I do, you know that. You, Lil, and Teuila are everything to me.” Luni just beams her elongated glee sound into my head in response.

Still, Lucky is a brand new being, I don’t think such a creature has existed in this world before. Yet there it stands, awaiting Lao’s orders. Its intelligence is evident, but it doesn’t seem to have the capacity for speech. Maybe it has a telepathic bond with Lao? I wonder if she is already trying to communicate with it mentally. I could talk to her about psychic bonds if so.

“Whatever you do, don’t ever give Lao the idea that she can use this to come to your rescue. She can never save you.” I glance around, it seems to be a disembodied voice contacting me again.

You’re more and more talkative aren’t you? I’m not certain I believe you’re just me.

They respond, “It doesn’t matter what you believe, yet. When you next go for a swim, start in the river, not the pond.”

Well that’s certainly ominous. You’re right though. Lao needs to never even follow a train of thought that might lead to her thinking she can endanger herself to come save us some day. Thanks for the insight I guess. I hope we’re alright, you and me.

“We’re fine, kinda hard to not be. You should put some thought into naming your abilities, just a suggestion. Most importantly, just get out of your own head and be with your family while you can. Cherish every moment.”

Ugh, that sounds like you know I’m going to lose them some day.

Great, no response. That’s as good as an admission you jerk! What the heck? I heave an exasperated sigh. The family turns to check my rude exhalation.

“Oh, sorry, was holding my breath with excitement, forgot to breathe.” There’s a round of laughter from almost everyone at my response. Lu gives me a glance that says she knows that wasn’t it though.

As I’m pondering Lu’s glance, I can see that she’s shaking, trembling almost imperceptibly. I’m standing right next to Teuila, and am barely suffering any of the effects of my trauma. Lu, what did you do?

I’m certain she did this for me, she’s taking on my trauma for me. How much more can she possibly do for me?

Teuila appraises me, checking me out up and down, then she follows my gaze to Luni who quickly begins trying to whistle while rocking back and forth. Really inconspicuous Lu. I chuckle and roll my eyes as I turn to face Teuila who is hauling back to sock me in the shoulder playfully. Her jab almost connects when she stops short. A puzzled expression crosses my face. Teuila’s hand trembles, and I hear a sob catch in her throat. Teuila stares at her own fist with horror slowly drawing across her face.

Teuila suddenly states, “Uh, oh hey, gotta go do my daily training and stuff, yeah, um, see everyone in a bit!” Te scampers off as she excuses herself. What was that about?

Oh wait, just a few days ago she nearly had a breakdown when she hurt my shoulder. Te, the wings of my heart and soul, now has her own trauma. I thought we worked through this in the five years in thinkspace. I agonizingly kneel down to hug Lil with one arm as my family’s chatter rises like notes of a symphony to my ears.

Cherish every moment. Absolutely. Yet still, I need to get cleaned up, in a way the soap stone won’t do. I just need to clear my head. The voice said to start with the river, not the pond, but I don’t feel like I have the strength to fight the river at the moment. Still, it’s not like they’ve given me any bad advice yet.

Mata’s glowering at me as usual. Will he never give it a rest? The Mana twins are leaping up and down across the surface of the pond while they watch the proceedings. Lu looks like she’s signaling Lil for some private time. Sugar and Spice have disappeared to work on a secret project. While Lao continues to get acquainted with Lucky, Agwai keeps a protective eye trained upon her. I suppose now would be the time to slip out.

Heading towards the river, I let my hand play across the bark surface of each tree I pass, wishing they could tell me the stories of this land. I want to know if they’ve been here since prehistoric times. Gazing up to the canopy lends me no answers however. I sigh and pat the last tree along the river bank, as if I can somehow communicate ‘there there’ to the tree. I divest everything, save something akin to a loincloth.

When I finally dive into the river and begin swimming, I suddenly feel nearly all my wounds open. Massive quantities of blood gush forth. I struggle to maintain consciousness, and thankfully my grip on life remains strong. Second by second, more vibrant life force is drawn from me south along the river. My flux joins the river’s current in a literal bloody discharge. My heart hammers in my chest, working to finish expelling everything.

How? What is happening? Wouldn’t Lu have warned me, ‘by the way your blood is going to explode out your body next time you touch water’? Supposing she knew, I’m certain she’d have warned me. She doesn’t appear to know everything, just certain series of events that need to occur, or will likely occur on the way to certain goals. I know she doesn’t want me to guess, but it’s like she was visited by a future self, similar to me, one who had run through several possible futures during certain events. Right, right, I need to stop guessing.

Gazing about, the river is running red, yet my blood is gleaming with a familiar radiant aura. When it feels like I’ve bled an entire body’s worth of sanguinity, all a furious radiant flow, a few drops of umbral aura coated blood escape my wounds as they seal.

Gasping for breath, I drag myself painfully, agonizingly slowly towards the shore. I can’t imagine the size of the Vampguppy that would have been summoned by that torrent of vitality. What is it with all the radiant energy lately too? Oh dear lords, my chest feels as if it’s been caved in by a locomotive. My heart weakly beats as it tries to resume normal function. As my eyes lose focus, I still feel like I need a swim to clear my mind. I roll on my side along the riverbank, gazing into the torrential body of water.

I want to be able to empty all the random thoughts, the dark thoughts, the adventurous thoughts, and just take in every moment with my family. To do that, I just need a few moments of clarity. This river has been such a significant portion of my life, in so many ways, for better or worse. I find myself dry heaving along the bank as I’m overcome with the intensity of the current event.

I visually scan the area, half expecting the voice that visits me to either laugh at, groan at, or berate me for the accidental pun. Seems they’re silent, or not with me at the moment.

I lower myself into the river with my left arm, and just paddle upstream towards the falls with my feet, guiding my progress by gripping the shore with my left hand. Approaching the falls, curiously enough, there’s a significant splotch of radiantly glowing red marring the surface of the shallows near the falls as well. The pool of blood churns beneath the surface where the falls contact the water, that’s why it hasn’t drifted downstream or diffused yet. It seems to circle in an endless cycle, reminiscent of a lava lamp. A bare, slender-framed, copper-furred woman clutches her elbows to her torso beneath the pounding fury of the falls. My Teuila looks for all the world to be wracked with sobs after having bled out radiant energy as I just did. That can’t be right though, no one but me bleeds, or Lu that one time when she took on my pain.

I cautiously wade through the soiled shallows against the might of the falls to reach Teuila. At first, as Te catches sight of me, I swear there’s fear in her eyes, and I see a future where she scrabbles away from me in terror, perhaps terrified of the possibility that she might hurt me. This future doesn’t come to pass though, Teuila just stands there, motionless against the fury of the falls. I embrace her as best I’m able with my damaged body. It seems like minutes yet before Teuila unclutches her elbows, and responds to my presence. Cautiously, Te wraps her arms around me, and she slowly begins squeezing tighter, and tighter.

At the point where my spine makes a loud popping sound, Teuila stops as she looks slightly aghast. I surmise she’s shocked that she let herself grip me painfully tightly, and shocked that I haven’t broken down into a terrified panic yet. Te mumbles, “You’re, you’re not afraid? We’re okay? Is this real?”

With my right hand, and its broken wrist, I raise it against the force of the falls to be able to stroke Teuila’s cheek and brow. I wince at the pain my action causes me, but I keep my left arm about Te’s waist to hold her close. I sigh slowly before echoing a sentiment she once got through to me that brought me hope in my despair. “We’re good. I love you, I always will. I’ll wait for you, as long as you need. Do you need time alone right now? I’ll give you as much space as you need to process your feelings.”

Teuila doesn’t respond for several moments, so I loosen my own grip on her, and turn to begin to leave. Teuila loosens her grip on me, but meekly tugs on my left wrist. With her shoulders slumped, and the long expression of sadness upon her face, Teuila seems vulnerable, defeated. I can’t tell what she needs right now, her mind seems closed off to me at the moment. Her voice cracks as she quietly pleads, “Don’t go.”

I lean against the cliff face beneath the falls, gaining a brief respite from its downpour, and I gaze questioningly at Teuila. I don’t want to rush her. Still, I push warmth, tenderness, love and affection across the wavelength that should contain our telepathic bond, though I get no response.

We both break the silence at the same time, with us asking one another why we’re shut out from our bond. I don’t understand, if Teuila didn’t do this, I certainly didn’t do this. Even if I thought Lu might have the power to do this, she’d never hurt Teuila like that. I gaze at the last of the radiant blood dispersing amidst the crashing foam of the river. There’s something wrong with radiant energy. It’s corrupt somehow. I think our bodies and minds aren’t used to the purge yet. Perhaps that’s why I haven’t heard Teuila for quite some time.

I share my guesses, “Te, I think, I think somehow the bright, radiant type energy is corrupt somehow. I think Lu knew that, and worked to help get us to be able to purge it. I can only guess, and hope, that our bodies and minds just need some time to accept this tenebrous umbral source instead of radiance. When it does, I, I hope that. I hope. I hope I hear your heart and soul amidst my thoughts once again. You’re my wings, you set my soul alight.”

Teuila mutters, “Dork,” as she sniffles and rubs her nose with her arm. Te takes a moment before she explains another revelation to me. “I, my form. I thought you took it away from me. I tried to become Valkyrie, and it seemed like I was becoming her, and more, but then, but then. It’s like my body was a rubberband that needed to stretch a bit farther, but it couldn’t, I couldn’t, I wasn’t good enough, I snapped. I can’t even fully manifest Valkyrie anymore. I thought you found me unworthy and took it away forever. I was barely able to keep pressing into the transformation to get us all home from the volcano.”

It breaks my heart that Teuila could ever believe I’d hurt her like that, that I’d revoke my trust in her in such a fashion. I know why she has that nagging fear though. She thinks she set me back with her roughhousing. I can read it across her face as plain as day that Teuila believes I’m scared for her to be too strong. I know we talked for ages about this very topic in our five years in thinkspace, but self doubt is powerful, lingering, it sticks with you, and rears its head when there are setbacks. It makes you question your own worth, and the trust you have in others, and the trust they have in you.

Sighing, I adopt a half smile as I keep my gaze locked deadly seriously to Teuila’s. I say only two words, “Hit me.”

Teuila’s face screws up, and she tries to rub water out of one of her ears. “Come again? I think the waterfall’s too loud, or I’ve got water on my eardrums.”

“Hit me, as hard as you can, as hard as you want, as much as you want, right now. Please.” My gaze remains locked with hers, I make certain that no humor laces my tone.

Te’s eyes flit about, as if she’s still not certain this is actually me, actually ordering her to hit me. She mumbles, “I’d say, you’re joking, right? But you’re not, you’re serious. Why are you serious? Why do you let me be me? Why do you put up with me?”

“I’ll echo something I’ve told you, near this very spot, that power is yours, it always has been. That of course isn’t why I let you be you. I don’t just put up with you Te, I adore you beyond words, beyond reason. I just told you, you’re my wings, you set my soul alight. I recently had to fight the force of a supermassive black hole. I happily burned away in that agony for two days. Something threatened to consume me the entire time, but I let the monotony of the misery guide my hand. I did this because I have unconditional faith in you, and Lu, and Lil. Faith that you’d pull through, faith that Lu was telling the truth, faith that Lil will always bounce back.”

As Teuila observes me longer and longer without response, I begin to worry I’ve said something wrong. Finally, after an agonizingly long pause with no feedback, Teuila gingerly raps my forehead with her knuckles, playfully taps my cheek with the end of her fingertips in a mock slap, and gently slugs me in the shoulder. The smile that slowly fights to spread across Te’s face is that of dawning bliss.

At last, she happily acquiesces, stating, “Okay boogerboo, I trust you.” Teuila draws me to her, wrapping her arms around mine, trapping them against my torso as she grips me in another bear hug. I feel like we might lose some progress if I complain about the pain such pressure is exerting on my ribs and lungs right now, so I try a different tack.

Pondering aloud, I guess, “I think injuries will take longer to heal, due to that radiant glow having left us.”

Te agrees, “I think you’re right, my fur hides it, but the nape of my back and my side are blistered and scarred something fierce. Oh! Oh your ribs! Sorry, sorry.” Te’s grip goes slack. But I keep her held tightly, enjoying our closeness.

Te tries to coyly ask, with her gaze avoiding mine, as she speaks from the side of her mouth, “So, uh, you and Lu are getting even closer than me and Lil got, during the time you were gone, huh?”

Finally sensing we’re in a good place, I tease her, “Why do you ask Te? You’re not jealous are you?”

Teuila blushes so hard that I swear I see steam rising where the water of the falls meets her cheek. She begins a playful series of rapid punches to my shoulder and chest. She embarrassedly mutters “Sh’uuuuuuup.”

I needle her playfully just a bit more, “You know, at first I thought Lil was jealous earlier when they said Lu told them what I did, but nah, Lil’s not that way, jealousy is just for Te, isn’t it?”

Teuila’s embarrassment hits a new level as she increases the rapidity of her mock punches. When I finally feel like we’re in as good a place as we can be right now, I catch her wrists, wincing at the agony my right wrist lances down my arm. I pull Teuila tightly to my torso and sink my face into the velvety fur in the crook of her neck as I nuzzle her. Teuila relents, giving up the play fight, and nuzzles me in return.

I don’t want the moment to end, but Teuila slowly leans away, gripping my left wrist she exclaims, “Come on, we shouldn’t be mopey, we have two whole new family members, we have to throw another celebration! What’s the plan? You do have a plan right? You always have one.”

Teuila’s right of course, both that we should have another party, and that I have a plan. I’d been caught up in trying to clear my head, and then in helping absolve Teuila, but a plan has been forming nonetheless. I want to avoid the drums, so as not to accidentally invite our many legged neighbors again. I need to learn a little bit more about Laomati’s bond with Lucky.

I need to find a way to let everyone know that the celebration is all about Lucky and Oli, and has nothing to do with our excursion. Somehow I need to create a theme where I’m not only not the center of attention, but I’m a shadow presence, barely noticed. Hm, shadows bringing comfort again. Isn’t that something Lao said to me when I awoke after our excursion? Didn’t I have a similar thought myself when comparing umbra to radiance during the excursion?

Speaking of our excursion, well, thinking about it, I get the feeling that the cragbeasts were really low level, on the power scale of things that exist in our world. Since I don’t have Lil’s ridiculously potent analysis vision, I’d probably rate the things we’ve run into in a certain order. I’ve got to think of them chronologically first though.

The originally Vampguppy was about, I’d say level three to five, and boss class. Luna when we first ran into her was definitely about level four, miniboss class, but caught me off guard. The bullies weren’t even level one for any single one of them, but as a group, they made up about a level two sort of challenge. Octorochi was around a level eleven god-boss class creature at first. They definitely came back with more ferocity after losing one of their heads to Gae Buidhe, so maybe twelve or thirteen.

The energy thieves were probably level one to two minion class. I’d guess there was some variance in level, since some died instantly to the energy tendrils of my tattoo, while others didn’t. They just had the advantage of surprise, and unique weaponry that completely disabled us. I actually want to visit them again some day, maybe I can trade for, or steal some of their weird energy theft blowguns. I want to know what kind of society they live in that they need to steal energy from others.

The beavers were mostly level two to three, minions and lieutenant class, beaver spheres were barely half a level. The third stage beavers were all around level three, lieutenant class. Once clad in Valkyrie equipment though, they were about a level six or seven threat.

A certain horrid psionic creature was a threat somewhere between level five and nine, definitely miniboss class, low health and defenses, but cunning with unexpectedly strong offenses for its level. The second Vampguppy was around a level twelve miniboss threat, but was only somewhat stronger in health and speed, not so much offenses or defenses. Lil could probably give a good breakdown of the stats of Vampguppy in both forms. If the original Vampguppy had something like three hundred health, then the second one had seventeen hundred, and its speed tripled. Its size doubled, along with its strength and durability, but with Valkyrie equipment, its attacks were almost nullified.

Vesuviform was about a level twelve elemental boss or miniboss I’d wager. Cragbeasts were level one to three minion class creatures that spawned with one-off offenses somewhere in the range of level seven to nine breath attacks. The ones that got a certain boost by a certain cheating entity were level five minions with level twelve offenses. Cragbeast queen was more of a level thirteen environmental hazard, rather than a creature, or boss, at least until it got a boost by that cheating entity that has been hounding me for so long.

I quiver and quake as my mind skirts a panic trigger, my knees tremble and Teuila supports me as we clear the riverbank. In its final state, the Cragbeast queen was something of a level fifteen catastrophe class creature. She had to be stopped. Originally she seemed moored to the menhir, until the top was blown off the mountainous foothill, but as that happened, I could tell she would hunt me down and destroy everything precious to me, at least while possessed.

With Valkyrie equipment, I can fight at a much higher threat level than I should be able to. Valkyrie herself can fight at a level even far greater than that. Lil, while being a dragon, hasn’t really come into their own yet. Some day, Lil will be a force of nature. My gaze falls upon Teuila, and I can smile so broadly at her. Teuila is remarkable, easily twice my better in combat physically, probably more than that honestly. I do have a few cheats with my magics, but it’s not a competition.

As we approach home, Lu and Lil are waiting for us on the outskirts of the river side of the pond. Luni exclaims, “Oh poo, none of you have it after the purge? Thinkspace is going to be so boring and lonely until you guys get it back. Hurry and rest up! I mean, please?” Once again Lu goes from assertive to bashful almost instantly, adopting her index-fingertip-tapping, side-mouth-speaking gaze-avoiding pose. That really needs a name. Hm, a certain friend told me to start thinking about names for my abilities, maybe I could workshop them with my inner circle as we plan the party to welcome Oli and Lucky.

Oh, wait, what if I don’t plan or announce the party, what if Laomati does? I ask Teuila to borrow the comm stone, and convey my plan to Laomati, and my desire to be out of the spotlight for it. Lao’s voice is utter bliss to listen to as she exclaims her joy and jubilation at the idea.

Smiling, sighing contentedly, I let myself fall backwards to the ground to gaze up at the canopy, taking in the moment. The impact is fairly painful, but the signal seems to be understood by my inner circle, as they all join me to snuggle up for a mid afternoon nap.