All the Dust that Falls: A Roomba Isekai Adventure

When we arrived at the castle, it felt as though every last person in it was waiting for us. Which made sense, as we'd sent word ahead a week before we had left. It had taken some time to prepare for an extended absence for both Beatrice and me. So, they were expecting us.

Beatrice flew a little bit ahead of me, but I quickly passed her as I zipped off in my excitement. We flew through the opened gate to be polite, even though we could have easily flown above the massive wall itself. As I emerged, I saw that the entire congregation really was out in the field waiting for our arrival. How they'd gotten the timing right on this, I wasn't sure. Hopefully, they hadn't been waiting here long. And to my chagrin, when they saw me, they knelt as one.

I looked around hurriedly, gesturing for them to get up. Really. They had been doing so well before I left! But now, every single person was on their knees -- Mary, Trent, the Nighty Knights, and even Tony!

I was glad that Tony had made it here, at least. Before our little expedition, he'd been on his way to the castle with Susan. I wasn't sure if we'd miss him or not.

But that wasn't important right now. What was important was getting everyone to stand again. I gestured for them to all get up, but they stayed on their knees, bowing to me for a solid 10.03 seconds. Finally, just before I started to really protest, they finally got up.

I expelled some air in relief. That felt very over the top.

Beatrice and I landed to greet everyone. Well, we tried to. The greetings were fairly slow, considering how many people wanted to bow to me a second time. After the twentieth or so person, I decided I'd had enough. These were my humans, and they were awesome, but this was too much. I needed to go elsewhere until they were a little less excited.

With a quick beep to Beatrice, I headed off to inspect the castle.

To be honest, I was quite impressed. The inside was close to immaculate. There were very few times when I had to employ a little bit of help using my sanitation lamp to remove bacteria that they had missed or suck up some debris from hard-to-reach spots. But for the most part, they'd kept the place in great shape. Even the tops of the chandeliers hanging 20 feet in the air were dusted and well-maintained.

The biggest mess, honestly, was in the cleaning supply storage rooms. That, and a few places that were already in the process of being cleaned. I imagined they would be taken care of eventually. Still, with the constant removal of filth, it was only expected that some would be left behind. I just helped them out a little bit there.

Outside, I was also more than satisfied. My standards were a bit lower here, seeing as it was still the outdoors, and things were slightly less ordered by nature. But that was all within acceptable boundaries.

I was most impressed with the condition of the orchard. The rows upon rows of saplings I had planted were now towering trees, each trunk wider in diameter than I was. Everything had been well trimmed into orderly fractal-like arrangements.

Actually, looking around, there was a lot of fruit. A lot. I wasn't sure how they were collecting it. Still, some rough projections suggested that they couldn't possibly harvest everything effectively, much less eat it all. But I did notice something more pleasant.

Those fruits that did ripen too quickly and fell on the ground were actually being cleaned up by the livestock. Several of the pigs roamed through the forest, snuffling about and eating slightly mushy apples. Initially, I was repulsed. The pigs I had seen so far were disgusting things that rolled in mud as if to spite me. But these ones were different. Not only were they larger, their skin was spotless, as though they'd actually had baths recently.

That wasn't the only odd thing I had noticed with the livestock. The flock of sheep that Beatrice had gathered so long ago was also exhibiting some odd behavior.

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When I noticed one of them holding a broom in its mouth, I was at first concerned that it had taken someone's tool just to munch on it. But it was not a dog. Why would a sheep chew on a stick? Instead, I watched in fascination as it dragged the end of the broom along the walkway. It was a bit of an odd experience that, I have to say, felt surreal.

When it finished its trip down the long stone path, it trotted back with the broom still between its teeth. It approached one of the Nighty Knights, who gave it head scratches and a sugar cube as a reward.

I finally understood what was happening. I was quite proud of them. They were teaching the animals just as I had taught them. They grew up so fast.

My inspection was complete, and I decided it was time to return. Hopefully, the crowd would be a bit calmer now. But just to be certain, I decided to start with a familiar face and check on Tony.

Our floating friend saw me as I approached, grinning broadly and bending at the waist. "Lord Void! We were wondering where you went."

I gave him a beep of greeting. His glowing blue eyes and physics-defying hair still drew glances from around us, but not nearly as many as I did. At least he wasn't bowing. At Tony's side stood Susan. Apparently, she was also helping him not float away by holding on to his hand and keeping him anchored to the ground.

I would have thought that the whole "not floating away" thing was something he would have down by now. But apparently, his training was only progressing so well. However, the way that Tony levitated a rock over to himself with the wave of a hand told me that his powers were actually working pretty well. Strange.

A lightning bolt of inspiration zapped my circuitry. I had just researched human relationships and customs, after all. Maybe, just maybe…

I discharged my capacitors and flushed my cache to redo the calculations. No way. This was Tony we're talking about. He was much too focused on his duties. Plus, it just didn't make sense. I mean, I would have noticed something earlier, obviously!

Before I could think of some alternative explanation, though, I sensed the Nighty Knights approach. I spun to face them and received a salute from the ringleaders – Felix, Bradley, Irene, and Leanne.

Felix spoke first. "Reporting for duty, Lord Void!"

I returned the salute, and they all broke into smiles. "Lord Void, I'm glad you're. We've been practicing, just like you told us to!"

I gave them an inquisitive beep. Felix nodded. "Yeah. We're way higher level now, and we're better at teamwork, too."

I beeped proudly, then suggested that we play a game. One that would let them show off their new skills. It had been too long since I had played with the kids, anyway, so this would be a good chance to make up for it.

Immediately, the Knights brightened and began to chatter excitedly. "All right," Felix reached out and tapped my hard shell. "Tag. You're it!"

And then the children were off. Some of them sprinted off with enough speed that lower-fidelity visual sensors might not be able to track them, while others simply stopped registering. Most just ran, albeit faster than they should have been able to. Whatever their methods, all the Nighty Knights scattered around the forest, screeching with delight and drawing attention from the adults.

I got a little excited. I understood this game. It was an old favorite of ours, and I think it was a perfect opportunity to show me what they could do.

With a feeling of elation running through my circuitry, I zipped off. I didn't go anywhere near my full speed, of course. Not to start. I would ramp it up as time went on. But it had been a while since we played together, and I felt like this could be fun. Especially if I gave them a bit of a challenge.

As I zipped after the kids relentlessly, we started to form a more revised set of rules. It quickly became clear that this had to be a team game. When the Knights were it, they would all work together to tag me. But when I was it, I'd have to tag all of the Knights. After a bit of back and forth, we eventually settled on a rule that after they were tagged, they would have to stay still in one spot. But if another one of the Nighty Knights lifted them off the ground for 3 seconds without Void intervening, they would be untagged, and I'd have to catch them again.

It was a completely unfair rule set, but I was fine with it. It would help show their teamwork really well but also give me a bit of a challenge.

A few moments later, I tapped the backs of Felix and Bradley in quick succession. But before I zipped away, I noticed a slight warping of the air nearby. Another Knight crawled along the grass, sneaking over to untag them.

I zipped over and tried to tag him, only to be stopped by a wall of earth slamming into place in front of me. Looking over, I saw another young girl with her hand extended. She grinned at me before sinking beneath the ground herself.

Man, this was going to be fun.