All my toys

This chapter is from Tina's POV

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The masked man finally stopped hurting me.  I feel the pain throbbing all over my body.  What did I do to deserve this?

  I wait in silence, unsure with which face that person will come back, the torturer that enjoys my pain, or the father that takes care of me.

  In my mind I know that it is the same person, but their personalities are so distinct, like two souls inside the same body.  Anyway, I hope the one that comes back is the one that calls himself 'daddy', I really can't stand the pain anymore.

  My mind clears a bit and I start recalling today's torture.  My body shivers at the thought, but I concentrate not on the actions, but on the words that my torturer spoke about my father.

Yes, my father…

Mom always told me that my father died when I was little, just after Rose was born.  I had no memories of him so I always believed.  However, after mom got diagnosed with cancer and she realized that she would die, she told me the truth...

  I remember that day as if it was yesterday, the bustle of the nurses in the corridors, the smell of antiseptic in the room.  My mom lays in the bed, an emaciated shadow of her old self.  Her hair completely gone from the chemotherapy, a nasal cannula marring her face.

"Honey, before I go back to the Lord, there is some things that you must know…".

I remember her difficulties breathing, how she has to pause every few words to gather her strength.

"When I told you that your dad passed away, I was lying.  Your father is alive".

Her words shock me and it takes me some time to process them.

"Mom, what you mean?  Father is alive?  If it is, where is he"?

And thus I learned the truth.

"Honey, I was never married.  When I was young, I met a pastor through your grandfather.  He was handsome, always smiling and melted my heart.  I fell in love with him, not caring that he was married.  I… was his mistress.  We would meet in secret whenever we could, but we had to be careful, not only because of his wife, but because he was a man of God.".

My mother… having an affair with a married man?  I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"After some time, I become pregnant with you.  I was desperate.  He wouldn't divorce so we couldn't marry, but the thought of raising you as a single mother, as a fatherless child, made me panic.  Yet he was calm and offered a solution.  Through some friends of his he arranged a marriage certificate to a man that never existed.  I was skeptical at first, but he arranged everything for me.  He explained everything to your grandfather, moved me to another city until you were born, and made sure that my peers knew that I had married in secret to a professional sailor".

I remember thinking that my whole life was a lie, an elaborate one but a lie nonetheless.

"After you were born, I came back, claiming that my husband was travelling all the time so I felt better living near my parents with a baby, and that was that".  Gradually I rekindled my friendships and everybody forgot about the girl that eloped and got married in secret".

"Things continued as before, we would meet in secret, spend the night together, and then go our separate ways.  Before I knew it, I was pregnant again and Rose was born".

"You two were the best things that ever happened in my life.  My babies, my girls.  I raised you alone in the surface, but with the secret support of your father all these years, until something happened".

Mom's smiling expression changes to a scowl.

"One day, as we were hugging in bed after making love, your dad proposed something to me.  He wished for me to sleep with a friend of his while he was watching…".

"I was shocked.  The man that I loved more than everything, whom I gave my chastity to, for whom I lied to everyone, wanted to share me with another man".

"It was the first time that I defied him.  We argued all night, him trying to justify his request, me crying and shouting so loudly that you woke up.  In the end, I kicked him out of the house and later from our life".

"It was a difficult time for me, I was always crying for no reason, but I endured and put a smile on for your sake.  Even though we stopped seeing each other, we still met in church, and he still kept supporting us financially, but my love for him had died".

"Your father name's is Jack Roman, the pastor of our church…".

I was out of words.  I kept looking to mom with my mouth open, unable to digest all that she told me.  But she had more to say.

"After I die, your father will probably contact you and keep supporting you.  Remember that he is your father, but never trust him beyond a point.  Over the years I realized that he was more interested in his daughters than me.  Maybe I am wrong, but I am not willing to risk your happiness for him.  Be brave, and always protect your little sister.  Don't tell her about her father unless he does so first".

After saying so, mom started crying until she fell asleep.  Two days later she died.

  During the years, I got to know my father, he spoke always kindly to me, trying to bring us closer, but I never forgot mom's words, so I kept some distance from him.  Not enough to make it obvious, but enough nonetheless.  I never let him meet Rose either, claiming that since she didn't know that he was our father, she would be devastated, and that if she told innocently to her friends who her dad was it would be bad for him.  This way, I managed to keep him away from my little sister, yet in my heart I always wondered whether mom was right or not.  I wanted to believe that he was a good father and that he really cared about us, but for the sake of my little sister I could not afford the risk.

And now, ironically, my abductor, my torturer, confirmed the words that mom told me that day.

My father is an asshole that see us as tools.

On the verge of fainting from the accrued pain of the torture, now I also got a splitting headache.

Great.

But why was I abducted?  This is not father's work, that is for sure.  He would never reveal his intentions this way, right?  Besides, my captor keeps telling me that this is all father's fault.  He obviously has a grudge against him.

What will happen to me?  What will happen to Rose?

  'Daddy' promised that she will be safe, and somehow, I believe him.  Why?  I don't know.  But when I lay in his arms, I feel that he really cares about me.  About us.  How weird.

  Remembering all the things we do together, when he kisses me, caress my body, and put his penis inside my butt, I can't recall them without blushing, but to myself at least I will speak truth:  I love it!  I never knew that I could feel that way.  When his tongue explores my mouth, I feel like melting.  When his hands caress my body and play with my breasts, I feel hot in my belly and a tingle down below; and when his penis goes inside my butt, and I feel it moving and stretching my insides, I lose my mind.

I hear the door of the basement open,

"Oh baby, what did he do to you again"?

I sigh in relief and anticipation, daddy is home…