Alchemy of Madness

"I'm really tired! Can't you come up with anything else?" I heard her sigh over the phone; I don't want to argue with her, but any more changes to the book will ruin the entire concept. "Kylie, I don't want any more changes if you keep demanding that, then let's forget the whole thing," I said, taking a deep breath.

"No! we don't have time for that! the plan was for the book to be published by New Year's Eve," Kylie explained. I could tell she was tired of this book as well, but as my publisher, she can't admit it. "Look, I know you've been through a lot, but we both know that writing is the only thing that keeps you sane, so I'm willing to drop this book on one condition."

I don't like where this conversation is going.

Kylie is my childhood friend, and we both got into writing and publishing fields relatively at the same time. She inherited her family business, while I became a successful author. She is the closest thing I have to a sister. Her presence in my life made perfect sense. She was there for me during my failed pregnancy, and writing this book was the only thing that kept me grounded.

I wrote the first draft a year ago, and my emotions were all over the place. I was exhausted and felt my soul being snatched away with each negative pregnancy test. I'd always wanted to have a large family. I adore children and hope to have my own someday. Having this dream slip through my fingers day after day broke my heart.

I despise change, especially when it comes to my books. Even though this is common in the writing industry, I've never experienced it to this extent. Kylie is correct that many changes should be made, but I can't do it; I can't rewrite the story. I wrote it in a very vulnerable state, and I'm no longer in that state.

I'm just exhausted and numb.

I know what she's going to say. I'm not interested in hearing it. Not right now.

"Instead, we publish Euphoria."

My heart is racing. Not right now. Never, ever. "You already know my answer, Kylie!"

"Of course, I know as your best friend, but as your publisher, we need a great book to be published! the entire campaign we created, as well as your fucking return after three years! It must be done! We won't be able to change the date again! Many books have taken your place, and I can't let you do it again. This book will completely transform your career."

I wanted to argue more, but I don't have the energy right now. "I have to go; I'll call you later."

"Anna, seriously consider it." she finally said before we ended the call. I turned off the phone and took another deep breath. I drew my hair behind my ears and reached for the doorknob.

As I stepped inside, I quietly looked at everyone and said next to my lawyer. "I'm sorry, but I had to answer." John nodded in my direction.

"As we were discussing last, the process of moving the ownership of the houses in New York and Calabasas," my lawyer said.

"Whatever Anna wants," John stated.

How calm.