NOVEL NEXT 26. Aches & Angst (Tess)
It was just past eight in the morning when I drifted awake. Amy and I were cuddling in bed together, and from the slow steady sound of her breathing I was confident she was still asleep.
Last night had been much more relaxed and quieter than Friday night. We were both too tired for any serious fun, and after almost nodding off a few times during the movie we had a few minutes of quiet cuddling in bed before falling asleep together.
As I lay there waiting for her to wake I reflected again on everything that happened since the full moon, and I thought about my feelings for Amy. I still had that original guilt, that my summoning attempt somehow dragged her into all this and messed up her life. Although I couldn't deny she seemed to have gotten over the initial shock, and from the sound of it her life was probably going to be a lot better in the long run.
She still had a lot of stress about the magic and the way it kept happening, but she seemed to be getting used to that too. And I wouldn't say it to her, but having unlimited divine wishes was something a lot of people would probably really like. There were certainly a few things I could think of that I'd wish for if I had that.
On the other hand, I'd been starting to worry about something else over the past day or two. Although I never got to meet the Goddess and never told her what I wanted, I couldn't shake the suspicion that she somehow already knew and in some convoluted way she dragged Amy into my life to grant my wish. Because I was definitely falling for her, and I was sure she had feelings for me as well.
I wanted help finding a girlfriend, and it felt like the Goddess delivered Amy right into my living-room then gave us a reason to spend loads of time together.
It all just seemed a little too perfect, when I looked at the situation from that perspective. I was lonely, depressed, and wanted to meet someone who I could be in love with. The Goddess found a lonely depressed trans girl who through some coincidence had a thing for the Goddess's name and looks. She plucked Amy out of her own lonely stagnant life and dropped her into mine, and gave us both a mystery to solve and loads of reasons to spend time together getting to know each other.
We even enjoyed a lot of the same things, like nature walks or hikes. We had some similar tastes in movies and music. And now I knew Amy could even cook, she knew her way around a kitchen which was a skill I definitely lacked.
The more I thought about it the more convinced I was that I was right. And that would answer Amy's number one question, about why she was dragged into all this in the first place. Because I wanted a new girlfriend and somehow the Goddess picked Amy and shoved the two of us together so we'd get to know each other.
And the more I thought about it, the more scared I was of sharing this theory with Amy. I worried that if she found out, she'd be angry or upset. Maybe she'd feel used or manipulated. After all, the Goddess did mess with her life and left her with a ton of stress and anxiety, which is what kept bringing us together. She needed to figure it all out, she needed to solve that mystery.
The other thing I wondered about was if my guess was right, then maybe once Amy and I were girlfriends, maybe once were were together, those 'unlimited wishes' would end. Like there'd be no reason to keep the mystery and tension going. No reason to keep Amy uptight and anxious about magic, if the only point of that stress was to force us to keep trying to solve the puzzle.
Then again my reluctance to tell her this new theory fed back into my guilt. I knew I should tell her, it was the right thing to do. But I really didn't want to make her upset or unhappy. And selfishly, I really didn't want her to leave.
I suppressed a sigh as I cuddled a little closer against her beautiful sleeping body. Maybe today I'd tell her. Maybe after brunch. That way we'd at least have one more nice meal together.
For now I tried to push the guilt and the negative thoughts aside, and just focused on enjoying the moment with her.
Amy remained asleep for another ten or twelve minutes as we lay there cuddling, but eventually she stirred. She made a few adorable little noises as she woke, then just like yesterday morning she lay motionless and tried to pretend she was still asleep.
I let her get away with it for a few more minutes, then I 'stirred' and yawned quietly behind her, and she asked softly "Tess? You awake?"
"Yeah," I replied. "Good morning Amy."
She shifted in bed, pulling away from me for a moment as she twisted around and turned over. Then she settled back again once she was facing me. She groaned softly as she was moving around, then pouted "My entire body hurts. That hike made me use muscles I didn't know I had. And now they all hurt."
I almost didn't even hear what she said, I was too busy marvelling at how incredibly cute she was. Her long silver hair was a mess, with several strands laying in front of her face. Even half-closed with sleep her violet eyes were almost criminally gorgeous. And that pout on her full wide lips melted my heart a little more.
After a few seconds I finally responded, "Maybe you could use that healing magic on yourself? Fix up all the sore muscles?"
Her pout faded and for a few moments she actually seemed to be considering it. Then the pout returned and she shook her head slightly, "That'd feel like cheating. And it wouldn't help for next time. Only way to not get so stiff and sore is to keep using those muscles, so they get stronger. But maybe next hike we should find something less challenging? Like the distance was ok, four or five kilometers is fine? But not as rugged, for now."
"Next time?" I asked with a cheeky grin. "You're already planning a next time?"
Amy suppressed another little groan as she leaned closer and planted a kiss on my lips. Then she let her head slump down onto the pillow and sighed happily, "Tess I could do this every single weekend. I want to do this every single weekend. The past two days have been amazing."
My heart fluttered so hard it may have skipped a beat, but that guilt started nagging at me again. I so didn't want to say or do anything to end this. I wanted every weekend to be like this one just as much as she did. Hell I wanted every day to be like this weekend, but as long as we needed to toil for the sake of capitalism, I'd have to settle for just the weekends.
I returned the kiss, and pulled her a little closer into a hug as I replied "Me too Amy. I can't remember ever having this much fun."
Neither of us were in any hurry for that to end, and we wound up spending another hour or two just cuddling, exchanging kisses, and occasionally mentioning how happy we both were.
It was about ten o'clock before we both decided it was time to get up. Neither of us bothered to dress as we went into the kitchen. I got the coffee machine started while Amy pulled a couple mugs out for us. We stood around waiting impatiently, then once it was ready we fixed up our mugs and moved to the living-room. There we sat cuddling together on the sofa.
After a few minutes of enjoying our drinks I asked, "So brunch today? Is the place we went last week ok for you, or do you want to try something else?"
Amy shrugged, "It was fine. Unless you want to go somewhere else? Honestly I'm not picky."
"Anyways it's not about the food, it's about who I'm sharing it with," she added with a cute smile and a little wink.
I felt my heart flutter again and I had to force myself not to make a joke about getting cavities from all the sugar she was sending my way. Instead I just blushed as I smiled back and whispered "Same."
We cuddled together a little closer after that. Eventually when we both finished our first cups of coffee Amy added, "I need to have a shower before going out. But maybe I need another coffee first."
"Same," I replied. "On both counts."
It took a few more minutes before we both got to our feet and refilled our cups. Then we returned to the sofa to continue cuddling as we enjoyed them.
I let Amy take the first shower again this morning, though I wished I had a proper shower stall that was big enough we could shower together. Or perhaps a bathtub big enough for two. Not that I could afford a place fancy enough to have those kind of features. When she was finished I loaned her my hair dryer so she could work on that while I took my turn in the shower.
The weather today wasn't as nice as yesterday. We weren't expecting rain, but there were a lot more clouds and a stronger breeze. So after my shower I opted for jeans again and another t-shirt, while Amy pulled a clean pair of leggings from her backpack, along with an oversized top. It was similar to what she'd been wearing on Friday in fact.
I put on a pair of running shoes but Amy stayed barefoot for now. Her sneakers were still in her car since she'd been wearing her hiking boots when we got back home last night.
It was about half past eleven and I asked, "Are we ready to head out?"
"Yeah ok," she nodded. "Let's go."
We both picked up our purses then set out. Amy stayed barefoot, then when we got to the car she opened the back and pulled out a pair of sandals and slipped them on before she got in behind the wheel.
The breakfast place was busy again same as last week. Sundays were always popular days for people going out for brunch, but we managed to get a table.
I stuck with my eggs benedict, it was one of my favourite fancy breakfast meals so I tended to order that whenever I had the chance. Amy decided to try the french toast this time, along with a couple strips of bacon. And we both got juice since we'd already had a couple mugs of coffee.
As we waited for the food I asked, "Do you have anything else you want to do this afternoon? Or were you just going to head home afterwards?"
I tried not to sound too disappointed about that possibility. It was the unfortunate reality, I had to work tomorrow morning and she probably had stuff she needed to do as well. Like looking for another job or figuring out if she wanted to try school again.
Amy sipped her juice as she thought it over. She shrugged, "I don't really have anything in mind? But I'm not in a hurry to rush home either. Unless you have stuff to do and want me out of your hair? I mean, I don't want to take up all your time."
"I don't want you to rush home either," I admitted with a blush.
She smiled at me, but whatever she was going to say was cut off as the waitress arrived with our food.
We both focused on that for a little while, enjoying the meal while it was still hot.
A few minutes later Amy admitted, "There's only one thing I sort of had in mind for this afternoon? I'm still thinking about that 'short-cut', about just asking the goddess or the magic to answer all my questions."
That sent a little chill through me, and I sighed.
"I know you don't like that idea," she added before I could speak up. "But like I said before, it feels like we've run out of alternatives? Everything else has been a dead end, or is just speculation and guesswork."
I took a deep breath then asked, "Could we put this conversation off, till we're back at my place? Please?"
"Ok Tess," she replied. "I'm sorry if I've upset you."
"It's ok," I shook my head. I changed the subject, "Maybe we could figure out some more hiking spots, for next time? Do you have any preferences, anything you're interested in? Like do you prefer forest or field, do you like hiking by rivers or lakes, or maybe exploring historical stuff?"
Amy blushed slightly as she smiled and looked down at the table. "Would it be too corny to say I didn't care, as long as we were doing it together?"
I grinned and my cheeks coloured a little too as I replied, "Not too corny, but also not helpful."
She nodded, "I know. Um, honestly I'm not that picky? Water's nice though. That place last week was all right with the little lake or reservoir or whatever, and that little waterfall was cute. But yesterday was cool too, with that river?"
After another fork-full of french toast she added, "I guess any kind of scenery would be all right. Like, just going through empty fields would probably be kind of boring if there wasn't anything else going on? But other than that, yeah, I can't think of anything specific I'd want on a hike. Just, interesting stuff to see while we walk."
"Ok," I smiled. "That's still helpful, like we can search for 'scenic trails' and probably find a hundred hits around here."
After breakfast I insisted on paying since she bought and cooked dinner last night. Then the two of us headed back out to the car, while I felt some growing dread at the thought of the conversation that awaited us when we got home.
