Adventures of an Employed Planeswalker

(Steve's PoV, Next Day, almost noon)

Oh, man, my head is killing me.

"Thank god it's Saturday, ugh," I murmured, nursing an ice pack to my head.

I've had this headache since I came back from that cave, yesterday.

What was that, anyway? I can't believe Andrew's camera got stuck in there, dude! That tape had so much information! We could've seen it better, known what it was, or-

"Sigh" Whatever, it's gone.

At least we all somehow survived. I mean, what happened? We were all deep into the hole, but then something pushed us all out of it. We were knocked out until Matt - the new Matt - woke us up, saying the party was over. We all had blood on our noses, but I think it must have been something with that sound the crystal was making.

But then, shouldn't we bleed through our ears, then?

Pain laces through my thoughts, "I should not be thinking this hard right now..." I press the ice pack harder against my temple.

I felt my cell phone vibrate and braced for my impending torture.

RINGRINGRINGRING

I answered with it in my pocket, taking a bit to take it to my ear, "Hello?" I say, gingerly.

"Hey Steve, Matt here." Old Matt or New Ma-, "New Matt."

"Oh, hi dude. So... how'd you get my number?" I ask.

"I asked this chick I met on the street. You're pretty famous, you know?" I can't help the smirk that comes to my face. "Anyways, I'm calling you because... well. Have you noticed anything... different, since yesterday?"

"Different? Nothing I noticed, no." Except for the pounding headache. "Why do you ask?"

He stays silent over the line, then says, "I don't know man. Something is... Something is off, is all. But if you're ok, it's fine. Save my number if you want, but I won't bother calling you anymore." What? Why? "I know how people in school look at me. You wouldn't want to have your image associated with mine, would you?" He cuts the call there.

I grimace. That part about politics annoys me the most. He seems like a chill dude and I have to pretend like I don't even know him to keep my own image intact. No... maybe if I highlight his good sides, people will get to know him better.

"Yeah, that could work... and for that, I'd need to get to know him."

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(Matt's PoV)

Waking up at home with no parents is always a blessing. Especially when you have a killer headache threatening to split your skull open.

I had already decided I would not get up from my bed today, at all.

"I think I had too much to drink yesterday..."

My cellphone rang.

Rang.

Rang a little more.

"UGH!" I got up and caught the offending phone, seeing an unknown number.

I answered the call, "Who is this?"

"Matt, Matt." I hear the other Matt's voice.

"Huh? How'd you get my number?"

"I was out there asking people about it, and this blonde chick said she knew you and gave it to me." He was 'out there' looking for my number? Where is 'out there' anyway- "I was looking for it for a reason, Matt." He turns serious.

"Did you feel anything... weird, going on since yesterday? Something different or... off?" I thought hard about it, frowning in the process.

"No... nothing I can remember..." I only remember the hole, the crystal, and then BAM we were all out, being woken up by him.

"Hmm... ok. Well, can you ask your cousin about it? I don't have his number either."

"Uhh, sure, sure. I'll call him later."

"Thanks, dude. If he says anything or you notice something weird, call me. Bye." And he cuts the call.

Uh, that was weird.

------------------------

(Matt's PoV )

With that, the seeds of doubt are planted. By being the one to wake them up, the only one with no blood on the nose, and the first one to ask them if anything is wrong, when they start manifesting their own powers, they'll question me about it.

Hmm, no. Maybe I'll even be the one coming to them in like, a week? Yeah, I see it: looking frantic, asking them to not think I'm crazy... that could work.

Future plans aside; I have a remarkable amount of nothing to do until then.

What movies air in 2012 again? Oh, I think Avengers come out this year! I just might go watch it again.

"Meh, shapes with three balls is too easy now. Let's try four, then five." I mumble, adding another ball to my infinity-shaped telekinetic juggle.

I'd like to resume my road trip, but I need to be around these guys, just in case.

This "power", this telekinesis, is a biological ability. Those MOGOs use a very specific frequency to alter the biology of mammals, which gives them the ability to use their brains to control electromagnetic fields.

At least that's what the package said, anyway. What I have evidence of, is that the specific frequency sent by the MOGO does induce biological change in the brain of nearby mammals. The process on the boys was interrupted because the MOGO ran out of fuel.

The first process is to induce the change, and the second is making your stake in the affected mammal's brain, making it submit to you as its master.

I know the frequency needed to induce the change, but I don't know how to make the mental stake. Also, I'd like to check how the biological change happens, so I can try to replicate it without the specific frequency.

"Sigh So much to do... yet so little to do!" Instead of staying sprawled on the sofa, maybe I should try something more taxing on my powers?

I let the four balls of condensed biomass fall into my chest where they are reabsorbed by Symby.

Getting up from the sofa, I look around at the living room: sofa, a window to the side leading to the street, TV on a cupboard... I wonder what's in those?

I instinctively reach out my hand, to better visualize the movement to slide open the cupboard's door. I stop my hand with a grunt of annoyance, even as the door slides open. I don't want to make that a habit.

Inside is a little pile of magazines: fashion, science, kid's activities, and some comics.

Curious, I focus on each of them separately, taking care to visualize my "reach" enveloping them in their entirety, before I slowly but surely bring them all up.

It's really no effort at all, I like being very careful in the way I train my telekinesis, as I want to focus on its control and finesse over raw, brute power. Making my subconscious used to a careful and thorough approach is bound to give me good results.

The magazines all float in front of me and I immediately frown. A sneaky, but very relevant weakness of this power is its need for visual stimuli or general awareness of the place the telekinesis reaches.

No, it's not the power that needs it; if the user can't visualize what they are doing, they can't keep it up. So, if I...

I bring all the magazines around me, within the roughly meter and a half radius around me that I can "see" without my eyes. I close my eyes and my frown melts into a smile.

Knowing where the magazines are, their relative height compared to one another and the ground, their distance between each other...it all makes picturing my grasp on them that much easier.

Unfortunately, this 360° view does not give me any details, so I cannot read all the magazines at once, though I could...

I begin floating the magazines in orbit around me, focusing on keeping their first page open. After consciously controlling them for a few orbits, I made the process passive. Opening my eyes with a smile, I engaged in my newest exercise: reading different magazines and keeping track of all of their subjects at the same time.

Just for good measure, I ask for those four- scratch that, five biomass balls, and start making patterns with them too.

Yeah, this power is so amazing.

------------------------

It's Tuesday, six days since 'the hole'. I spent most of Saturday training my power in whatever inventive way I could.

On Sunday I just went out to buy a larger TV and a surround sound system, just so I could make my training more all-encompassing; reading different sources and hearing different stimuli had me on my toes, keeping up with everything, showing me my current limit when I started to feel nauseous.

Granted, as soon as I gave it 5 minutes, it was over, but it was there. Slowly but surely, I pushed my limits further and my powers grew.

Yesterday was mostly uneventful, seeing me drive around town, and eat at a local diner that had a very nice hot dog. Seattle was quite the cozy little place, despite its cold and cloudy weather.

The only event yesterday was when a group of local high schoolers found me enjoying my third hot dog and decided to "let me know my place."

Needless to say, they all had a very intimate encounter with my fist and then the ground.

Now, the- DingDong!

Sigh. The annoyance at my door won't leave. I get up from the sofa, making a conscious effort to put all the magazines in their respective piles.

"Yes?" I open the door, looking at who it is.

"Are you perhaps Mr. Matthew... no surname?" A young, nerdy-looking woman asked.

"Yeah, that'd be me. Who's asking?" I give her a once over. Comfortable-looking shoes, gray woolen pants, a brown shirt, and a black hoodie. I almost can't contain my frown; I know I don't dress well, but that is.. a smudge on an easel at best.

She notices me looking her over and tucks a lock of black hair behind her left ear, showing a light blush on her cheeks.

"I-I'm Sherry, and I'm here on Seattle High School's behalf." She reaches behind her and into a bag. After a few moments of trying and falling to get the right stack of papers, she pulls a whole file out of her bag, fumbling with the thing and letting it fall.

I catch her and the bag, making sure she is standing straight, the file in my other hand only waiting for her mind to catch up, to be grabbed.

"Hey, you were saying?" I ask. She shakes off the haze and nearly jumps away from me.

"Sorry! It's just... it got stuck and I tried to pull it off and-" And she rambled for a while. I shake the file in her direction, which she grabs with another scared jump.

"A-ahem. My name is Sherry and I am here on behalf of Seattle High to ask about Matthew's-" She makes sure to grab my file from the pile of papers, most likely double checking the surname situation, "Yes, Matthew's situation." She looks at me and, seeing my unimpressed look, continues, "The school wants to know why you are not showing up..."

"I don't really want to." I choose not to mince my words, eager to see her reaction.

She doesn't disappoint, caught completely flat-footed by the quick response.

"I- but that's not-" She tries to talk, but I just wave her off.

"Do you want to come in? I feel this conversation will be more than just me saying 'I won't go' and you saying 'But you should!'." I open my door fully, getting out of the way.

She looks at me for a while but decides to acquiesce.

I close the door behind her, leading the way to my kitchen.

My kitchen is nothing fancy, just the island with a sink, some drawers holding basic utensils, a fridge, and a cooker. It also has a table with four little chairs. It never saw any use while I was here, but it would serve its purpose today.

I grab a chair for her, which she takes nodding shyly, and make my way to a chair of my own.

"So, the school sent you here to see why I'm not attending?" I give her an easy follow-up to the earlier conversation.

She nods, pulling file after file from her bag and assembling a web of them on my table.

I motion towards one of the files on the table, "Is this all about me?"

She shakes her head, "No, no. Your files are just these two." She points towards the two closest files.

"So...?" I gesture towards all the files on the table.

She understands my unasked question, "These are all the truancy cases last year." I raise an eyebrow. I can count at least 15 files with different names.

"... Any particular reason?" I can't help the question, my curiosity getting the best of me.

She looks at all the files and then at me, shaking her head. "None of them had a real reason; some had enough authority over their own lives they could mostly decide they "didn't need school anymore". Some got involved with unsavory deals and types of people. Some just... stopped attending." She frowns.

"That's too bad." Ignoring the fact I was firmly in the first category.

"Yes... too bad. I always found it strange, however..." She gathered a few files, "These are the students that just stopped attending out of nowhere." She shows me three of the files. A quick read gives me their names, average grades, addresses, and close relatives.

I frown, "Should you be showing me this?"

She widens her eyes, but then she deflates and lays on top of the table.

"No, I shouldn't... but I've failed bringing the students back in so many times I'm just... well, I'm just you away from getting fired." She mumbles, her face glued to the table.

"I'm sorry that's the case." I really am, but I won't go to high school again just because of her.

I turn my aura on, focusing on making it relaxing.

Her shoulders get minutely less tense, but that's about it.

"Look, that's really too bad, but I really don't need high school anymore. Hell, I could probably buy a diploma and be done with it." I say, even though I get closer to the three files she drew before.

There's something on these... they all live fairly close together and all near Haven Hills...

"I guess you could. Sigh Just another failure for Sherry's spotless record." Her words ooze sarcasm until she notices me looking at the files curiously. "What?"

"... do you know where these three are?" I say, pointing to them.

"No, no one knows. They disappeared a few days after I went to their houses." She frowns. "Their parents were nice enough, but the students themselves? Rude!" She speaks with righteous anger.

"Uh-huh. Is it known why they all disappeared or something about it?"

She scratches her chin, thinking about it. "Not that I know of. But it was weird; they all disappeared at once."

"... do you know anything about Haven Hills?" I ask suddenly, looking straight at her.

She almost gets whiplash from the subject change, "I- no, not much. There used to be a bunch of barns and properties there, but they were all abandoned a few months back." She looks at me curiously; her shy shell being slowly left behind, showing an inquisitive mind, "Why do you ask?"

I point at the three files, "They all lived near that place and..." I can't say I know there was a mind-controlling rock there, can I? "When did these three disappear again?"

She opens her mouth to answer, before closing it at the same rate her eyes widen. "Basically at the same time the place was abandoned! But why?"

Well, our MOGO friend might have spawned a few more kids.

I can't help but frown, though; I'm sure I felt relief when I touched the MOGO in question. The Anomaly should be gone and- oh... its Corruption is still out there.

If I felt the relief, then this corruption technically is not my problem anymore but... maybe I can use this.

If me and the boys all team up to get some bad-guys-powered people, they might form a stronger bond. What with me healing Andrew's mom (I'll soon be getting into that) and possibly solving his "daddy issue", he might come around easier.

I look at Sherry and shrug, "Honestly? I have no idea. I just found it strange, is all." I make sure to sound as nonchalant as possible.

She seemed to buy it but kept glancing at the files. After another defeated sigh, she looked at me again, "So you won't be attending anymore? Why not ask to unenroll, then?"

I shrug, "I still want to enjoy the "student" card, for now."

"But that's so... low." She murmurs the last part. Sherry gathers her files and puts them all into her bag, getting up from her chair once she's done.

"Well met, Mr. Matthew. I'll take my leave now." She says, already going to the door.

I keep up with her, "Hey, Sherry." She turns to me. I notice her posture is stiff; the aura is still doing work, but my comment made her that tense. Struck a nerve, maybe?

"What would..." Hm... "What would you do if you were given powers?" I ask, a cunning look in my eyes.

------------------------

The funny thing about One Concern Less: it explicitly says I'll never lack money to live in comfortable luxury. This time, what it gave me was a wallet with replenishing amounts of pocket change and a credit card with no limits.

Technically, I have infinite money... but all that money is in Shadowrealm 32, around the corner of Bumfuck Nowhere. I can't see it, access it, or do anything with it despite "having" it.

My ghost fortune may never end! That's a good novel name, right there.

Anyway, I decided to help Sherry, while also testing a theory.

This thing says I can't "buy" a small country, which implies the amount of money I can spend at once is limited... but how limited?

I enlisted Sherry's help with buying a lot of shares; I didn't even care to make an educated guess or whatever, I said she should choose whatever number of shares she wanted, and I'll buy it.

Of course, she scoffed and called me an asshole for trying to trick her.

I had to call the local Apple store and order one of each of their stock to make her believe it, and even then she was skeptical. I didn't even know Apple did sales like that... the more you know.

Anyway, I just used the very attractive reasoning of "You're getting fired anyway, why not?" And that, plus my aura seemed to crack her enough to say she would think about it.

I don't mind if she refuses, I just think it would be a waste to spend all of my infinite money on shit I won't be here to enjoy or manage in a few months. So I might as well give it all to someone. Especially so if I find out the limit of that card is like, a gazillion.

All that shit aside, late MOGO had other children, did he?

That makes me want to know where they are. What are they doing? Are they still drones after they die?

If they were still drones by the time it died, why did the MOGO try making more?

So many questions, so long until I go find the answers.

------------------------

Ok, it's Friday and I'm in a mall, looking around and slurping a shake.

"Hey, isn't that the new guy?" I hear a girl's voice.

Ugh.

"Yeah, that's him... though he hasn't been to school this week..." Another one chimes in, trying her darndest to stay quiet.

"He probably thinks he's better than the rest of us." A girl with a particularly obnoxious voice said.

"You know these boys; they love to look cool to everybody else, but they're just pathetic."

"Well, if he's so pathetic, why don't you go over there and make a fool out of him, Monica?" Said the obnoxious voice girl.

Also, yes, they were basically following me at this point. I decided to sit down on a bench, waiting for whatever they wanted to do.

Not too long after I sat down, a girl with bright red hair, a pop idol black shirt, and ripped jeans came and sat down next to me.

I looked at her for a second, did a particularly loud drag from my shake, and went back to my wandering gaze across some shops.

I manipulated my aura, projecting frustration.

She frowns visibly, clears her throat, and puffs her chest. Meh, I wouldn't say she's got a bad rack, it's just not impressive.

And I'm an ass guy myself, anyways.

I deign her with another uninterested glance, before ignoring her again.

This time she coughs into her hand, "H-Hey! I heard you're the new guy in town, right?"

I slowly turn to her, stare for a few seconds, and then take a draw from my shake. Just as the stare would become uncomfortable, I say. "Oh, you're talking to me. Yeah, I'm new around. Name's Matt."

"I'm Monica!" She extends her hand, which I take and shake. "You know, maybe me and my friends could show you around..." She makes sure to keep the end of her sentence just suggestive enough.

"Yeah? And where would we go?" I say, taking an audible drag of my shake.

Is it a drag or a draw, though? I'm drinking something, but a shake is so thick sometimes you have to drag it up the straw like it owes you money-

"We could go to a party... I heard Steve will be throwing another one of his parties, this time on his house!" She says animatedly, dragging me out of my reverie... or would it be drawing me out of my reverie?

"Hahaha, you're so funny!" She laughs and slaps my shoulder, discreetly looking at her friends. Seems like my lack of reaction is bad for her rep, so she is faking reactions.

"Yeah, sure. You wanna hear a joke, though?" I ask her, leaning into her ear.

Her eyes glint as an opportunity presents itself. She leans into me, to hear what I have to say, "I don't know what that skank you call a mother would say, but don't you think your father would be a bit disappointed if he saw you like this, Monica?"

I feel her freeze in place. A quick search told me a lot about her; mother worked "autonomously" for a great part of her youth when a police officer got her a new lease on life... in more ways than one. Unfortunately, Officer Davies died on duty two years ago, leaving Monica and her mother living off of his pension up until now. Needless to say, Monica's mother may be relapsing to old "habits" and her "little" girl is not far.

She turns to me, anger in her eyes, "You-"

I face her heated stare with an uninterested one, "Yeah, I know a lot about you, Monica. Honestly, I know a lot about pretty much everyone in that school." This is not even a lie.

I wryly smile, "So, unless you want me to spread to everyone how Monica Davies is a "Whore Spawn"," This expression still feels bitter on my tongue, after all these years. "You better leave me the fuck alone."

Her stare slowly loses its heat and she motions to get up, "Oh!" I interrupt her.

She turns to me, almost robotically. "Can you do me a favor and throw this away, please?" I hand her my empty shake cup.

She very slowly reaches for it, grabs it, and with a shaky smile, turns to go back towards her group of friends.

I get up myself and keep to my walk.

Is it drag or draw? Why bother, just say suck.

Hm... I guess it's kinda sus if I say I'm sucking on something to get its milky contents... yeah.

------------------------

Ring Ring Ri-

It's a Saturday afternoon... who would call me at this time? I pick up the call, "Yellow?"

"Hey, Matt!? It's Steve! I'm having a party on my home, we're here right now!" Yeah, I can hear the music blaring.

"And?" I ask, for continuity's sake.

"Come on over, man! Or do you not like parties? I mean, if you didn't, why would you be at the rave the other day!?" He screams over the phone. Man, I hate when people use logic against me.

"Man, I-" I was about to refuse, but this could be an opportunity.

I always wondered how people reacted to the three boys suddenly getting closer, forming a strong friendship over... nothing?

I know Steve's girlfriend thought it was weird and, even though she's crazy, she wasn't wrong.

Steve, Matt, and Andrew had almost nothing in common, besides being from the same school.

I guess Matt and Steve could've become fast friends and people just thought Matt was bringing his cousin along out of pity... Meh, I'll go anyway.

Besides, I don't have a lot to do, other than training my powers, and that can be done anywhere.

"You know what, yeah. I'll be there in a jiffy!" I say.

"Who even says "jiffy" anymore? You sound like my dad-" And I hung up on him.

"Oh yeah, I never asked him where his house is..." I ponder, as the different objects floating around me move to their respective places inside the house. My training while at home basically consists of me floating "everything" and keeping each different object moving in a slightly different way. It keeps my mind split, forces me to keep constant check with my memory when I put them all back in their original places, and trains that awful weakness of having to keep everything "in sight".

I'm still working on making my telekinetic reach have a sense of touch; that way, I'll have a better way of picturing what I want to do with the objects I'm controlling.

"Meh, not like I don't know yet." I shrug, taking my car's keys from the key holder with a quick pull, not even having to look at it. Symby changes my clothes from the comfy-looking pajamas to black jeans, a grey shirt, and a black leather jacket.

I look at the clothes, 'Maybe I should buy a bike? Nah, that's too tryhard.'

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(Steve's PoV)

He hung up on my face. "This motherf-"

"Yo, Steve! Where'dya put the beers?" Duncan basically tackled me from the side, already drunk.

"It's in the fridge, Duncan! I told you five times already!" I reply, half amused half annoyed.

It's the same thing every time; Duncan gets to the parties early, starts drinking to "start out strong", gets drunk too fast, and spends the rest of the party passed out.

... Passing out is the best outcome, anyway. The incident of June 2011 will forever be etched into my memory.

"Oh... OH! Ok! Thanks, dude, you're a savior!" He hugs me and starts walking... in the opposite direction. I sigh, reach him, and physically turn him in the fridge's direction. He only laughs dumbly, thinking it's a game.

"Steve! Where were you?? We're waiting for you to start the chugging competition!" Came Samantha's voice, my little she-devil.

"I'm here, cutie. I was just calling some more friends to the party!" I say, opening my arms to hug her. She turns around, playing at ignoring me, but I see her smile.

"So, are you coming? Or do we go upstairs to a more... secluded party?" She says, biting my earlobe as I kiss her neck. I, unfortunately, can't take her up on her offer.

"We can't right now, baby... I have to host the party, you know it." I say, heaving a heavy sigh and taking a deep whiff of her. She is using the perfume she knows I love~.

"... I know." She looks into my eyes for a second, bites my lips, and pushes my groin with her butt, leaving my hug with a smile.

I can't help the smile on my face, as I follow her to the table.

"I'm back, party people!" I yell, to a howl of approval from the audience around my big table.

"Are. We. Ready!???" I say, making my best narrator voice. The people surrounding the table yell louder, getting hyped for the competition.

I was once one of these competitors in the famous Steve's Chug Chugging Competition (aptly named after the five-times champion himself), but I found my calling to be a Narrator... especially after a few parties where I forgot everything and woke up in stranger's beds.

"This beautiful Saturday, we have... Phiiiiliiiip!" I gesture to one of the competitors.

Philip is one of the players on the school football team. He really shouldn't drink so much, if his dream to become a professional player is to be completed. The coach himself told him that, but the poor sod can't make friends any other way.

I suspect he fell from his crib once or twice growing up... Not my problem; even though not the brightest, he's a chill dude.

"Philip here may not have won any previous competitions, but always made for a strong opponent! Who knows!? This time he might clutch it!" I hype him up, much to the people's amusement.

"We also have... Monica!?" I don't even fake my surprise. Even the crowd seems to agree. I compose myself, "A complete rookie on the chugging competition, appears to challenge her seniors! How is she gonna fare; is she going to outdrink people twice her size!?" I say, mentioning the extreme size difference between the skinny girl and Philip, a hunk of a guy, "Or is she really only here to get shitfaced and recked!?" And the crowd laughs at that. People love it when I make fun of the competitors.

Monica herself sends a few mean glares here and there but stays mainly focused on the tall glass in front of her.

"On another side, we have a tough competitor; one of the founders of this very same competition; a great friend, even greater wingman; the only guy in school with bragging rights over outdrinking me and the current Chug Chugging Competition Champion... Kyle!" I hype my friend up as much as I can.

Kyle is the reserve quarterback for the school team, has been one of my best friends since high school started, and overall a great friend. He smiles and yells with the crowd, hyping himself up for the drinking ahead.

"Kyle is an on-and-off champion of the competition, being in his "on" phase right now; you better watch out for him!" I always engage in some theatrics when narrating these, trying my best to keep the crowd entertained.

"By Kyle's side, we have another newbie competitor! A skinny guy, he might be, but he sure packs quite the punch...! Gavin!!!" The little guy puts his arms in the air, hyping himself up with the crowd.

Gavin was bullied pretty bad by Wayne and his goons, but he socked him in the face so hard, that the whole hallway was silent for a good 10 seconds. After I knew about that, fearing what that knucklehead Wayne would do, I took the guy under my wing. He quickly proved useful to everyone, giving answers during tests, and doing homework (for a fee, of course) and everyone realized he was actually funny, once he got out of his shell.

This is only his third time drinking, so maybe I should stop him... Nah! It's going to be so much fun seeing him embarrass himself! Besides, I already gave him some food, so he's not going into this with an empty stomach. A quick way to get fucked up, that is...

"And last but certainly not least on today's competition...! Mark!" The crowd cheers out of inertia, not many people know this little guy.

Sigh Another socially awkward guy, trying to ingratiate himself by winning this competition. I don't judge, but I don't think people will suddenly become your friends if you can chug a tall glass of alcohol, but hey! I can't stop the guy from trying either.

He's our kit man on the team; shy, short, and a lil' chubby. He's too gullible, however... I tried to get to know him better, trying to break him out of his shell, but between the team training, my presidential campaign, and managing parties, friends, girlfriend, grades, exams, college applications... I can only do so many things at once.

"Mark here might look a little... unassuming, but he is certainly a stamina freak! I've seen him run laps around many of the guys during P.E.! Let's see how that translates to drinks!" The crowd cheers a bit more, excited that it's all finally starting.

"Now! We all know our brave competitors! It's time!!!" I yell at the top of my lungs.

"My assistants will make now, the drink of today's competition: the Belly Buster!!!" Sam and Troy come carrying bottles of vodka, lemonade, and hot sauce.

"This drink is a creation of yours truly, one of the many made for this competition... but you already knew that! The contestants will chug the whole cup; the one who chugs faster wins!" The crowd cheers, as my assistants mix the cocktail of destruction into a 25-ounce cup.

"This is the first time we have a girl contestant, so everyone please be kind to her," I make a condescending face and pat Monica's head. She swats my hand off, scrunching her face in displeasure. "But don't worry! I'm sure she has a plan if she's here!"

"And now... ARE WE READY???" I even put up a show of pointing to the sky. The crowd cheers, already starting the chant "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!". I fish out my stopwatch and look at all the contestants seriously. They all nod - even Monica seeming serious about this - and I nod back to them.

"GO!" I click the stopwatch.

Immediately it can be seen that Kyle has his technique down to an art; he swells his throat, and makes sure to gulp as little as possible... the liquid basically slides down his gullet.

Mark on the other hand takes big, generous gulps... which turns out to be a mistake on his part. After the fifth big gulp, his face starts to redden. Yep, that's the hot sauce right there, he's going to be feeling it burn his whole mouth and throat. He sputters a bit, but seeing people still trying and the crowd cheering them on, he tries his best to stay in the competition.

Philip is, as always, a promising contestant... up until the third fourth of the cup, when he massively slows down, his body catching up to what he's doing. "Cough cough cough!!!" It's always the same thing with him, though he has been improving: the time it takes for his body to notice something is going wrong is increasing!

Gavin tried a cunning technique; he purposely stood and watched as Kyle started doing his own routine to copy him. That... actually worked, somehow! This guy's a genius! I directed my attention to Kyle and Gavin, seeing as this impromptu edition might actually have some competition for the current champion.

Monica hesitated at the start. Losing some precious seconds, but one look into a specific part of the crowd seemed to rekindle her fire. She took the cup in two hands and tried to drink it... the normal way. Needless to say, she started gagging and sputtering after the first two gulps... I don't even know if those can be called gulps; they're more like glorified sips.

"Ackk...!" Monica made a very unconfortable-looking face, her cheeks starting to redden to match her hair. The crowd was divided; some laughed and those who tried to show support.

"Ooohh... we have two strong competitors; the champion and one of the rookies! Although he seems to be the only rookie doing well for himself." I comment, making sure to pay very close attention to the two. It's going to be really close.

I could see Monica getting encouraged by someone and trying to resume drinking. I couldn't pay any more attention as I pressed the stopwatch, "Time! With 1 minute and 12 seconds... Kyle remains the champion!!!" Everyone cheers. Gavin finishes a few seconds later, though he looks really sick.

"Ok, ok! Competitors, if you please, follow Sam and Troy, they will lead you to the bathroom in case you want to puke. Thank you very much for your participation and we all hope to have you again in the next! Installment! Of the! Chug Chugging Competition!!"

I grab a nearby bottle of water, drinking almost everything at once. Yelling and narrating like that without a microphone is very taxing on the throat.

There's the sound of a door opening, a surprised scream, the unquestionable sound of someone puking their guts out, and then a collective gasp. I walk to the disturbance and see Matt (New Matt) at the door. He was weirdly sideways for some reason, with vomit on the ground in front of him all the way to... oh. Monica had an oopsie.

"That's quite the welcome," Matt says, eyeing the girl - now being held by her group of friends - and then the rest of the people. Despite the silence and the awkward situation he smiles, amused. "We doing some sort of "longest distance throw up"?"

Despite some people around not liking the guy, they can't help but chuckle at the situation.

"... You know... that wouldn't be that bad an idea..." I can't help but mutter, considering the implications.

"I can already see it... Explosive Ejaculative... Interiors? Expletives? The name needs work!" I walk right up to him, dodging all the bodily rejects on the ground, and wrap my arm around him. "Anyway, good to see you here, man! Let's party!" And start dragging him inside.

People seem a bit put off at first, but when Kyle recuperates enough to roar his victory, everyone kinda forgets the scene and crowd around him, celebrating his victory.

'Yeah, we got to enjoy while we still can, friend.' I can't help but think, looking at my best friend. 'Not too long now until we go our separate ways...'