Academy’s PTSD Chaplain

2 – 2. Entrance Ceremony (2)

It was about a year or so after I found out that this place was a world from a novel I got transmigrated into.

To be honest, the novel wasn’t all that interesting. I probably dropped it around episode 20 or so. The character I’d become had a name I’d never even heard before.

So, initially, I thought I’d been reborn in this world. I only had memories of life on Earth, and I was an entirely different person.

One thing was certain, even if I had realized the fact of my transmigration a bit earlier, it wouldn’t have changed much.

The moment I realized I’d transmigrated, it was right after the outbreak of war. A letter arrived for me while I was serving in a small church in the countryside.

It was a conscription notice. A notice stating they would conscript me as a military priest.

Honestly, I wasn’t particularly worried. Much like the protagonists I’d read about in the novel, I had quite a special skill of my own.

A purer divine power than other priests and exceptional healing abilities based on it. That was my ability. So, I was arrogant. I thought there would be a lot of people needing help on the battlefield, and I arrogantly planned to use my abilities for good.

I was a mess back then, full of inexplicable arrogance.

A good heart sometimes sours into arrogance. The decision I made was undoubtedly a good one, and because of that, my arrogance snowballed.

People praised me endlessly, living a life like the protagonist in the novel. My pride and vanity concocted an imagined outcome.

So, at that time, I responded to the conscription with a mind far too light for its seriousness.

Looking back now, I shouldn’t have. I should have resisted conscription. Even if I rotted in prison, at least I could have led a more humane life.

The haunting screams still ring vividly. The sight of human limbs disintegrating before my eyes still burns in my mind. The image of a blood-soaked rat poking out from the eye sockets of a corpse remains vivid.

Before the transmigration, there was a major war on Earth known as the World War. Of course, I only learned about it in history; I didn’t experience it firsthand. I was born after the war had ended.

The peace of our time. A peace dominated by absolute power. That was the previous life I had become accustomed to, complacent and lazy.

So, for me, it might have been particularly challenging.

The great war that occurred in the world of the novel. For me, who survived those six hellish years.

The more I stubbornly clung to this hellish existence, the more suffocating it became. As the medals adorned my chest, they increasingly felt like a noose around my neck.

To me, it felt disproportionately, unbearable.

* * * * *

The entrance ceremony concluded around noon.

New students scattered around, exploring the dormitories and classrooms where they would study, except for the senior students who headed to the library or the training grounds.

The midterm exams for the first semester were approaching. While the new students hadn’t taken the exams, it was different for the enrolled students.

“…It’s bustling.”

The training ground visible through the window was already taken over by the enrolled students engrossed in their training. I gazed at the lively scene for a moment, then lowered the blinds and leisurely surveyed the now darkened office.

A desk for official work and a chair. A communication magical crystal occupying a corner of the desk. Large bookshelves, a sofa, a table, and such. The furniture was elegantly adorned, giving a sense of dignity to the rather sparsely furnished office.

It was strictly business-like yet lacked no hospitality in its setup. It was quite satisfactory. The fact that this place was a world from an academy novel was profoundly felt.

I remained lost in thought for a while. To keep stray thoughts at bay, clearing my mind and being in a daze was the best remedy.

To me, the meaning of obsessive thoughts is definitely going to become a time of excruciating pain, enough to make me want to die.

– Knock, knock.

I heard a knocking sound. It felt like my alone time was being disturbed, so the corners of my mouth drooped slightly.

– Professor, it’s me. We met earlier at the bench.

“…Come in.”

If it was the person I had met at the Academy bench, she seemed like the female professor I had encountered during my moment of panic. That’s why I felt a sense of rejection first.

It wasn’t common for me to show such a state. That’s why I didn’t want others to see it.

“Well, there’s no other choice.”

With a bitter smile, I went to the door by myself and opened it to greet her. It was an unwelcome guest.

“Pardon me…”

Chestnut-haired tied in a military-style bun, a cap and cane in her hands. The slightly worn-out robe exposed her shoulders. The deer-like pupils, shining like the night sky, were directed towards me.

So, she was indeed the female professor I had met at the bench. When she saw me coming to greet her at the door, she smiled brightly and nodded slightly.

“Heh, I thought something was wrong since the bench… I was a bit worried, so I came.”

“Ahaha…”

“Oh, Professor. I’m sorry. Is it too sudden?”

“…No.”

I tried to force a smile, but even that didn’t work well. So, I simply gave up.

When I received her with a rigid expression, the female professor’s face became somewhat downcast. Did she think I wasn’t happy to see her?

…Come to think of it, it wasn’t entirely incorrect, so I didn’t deny it.

“Please sit here.”

“Oh, thank you.”

The female professor sat on the plush sofa. And then, she started looking around the professor’s office with a curious gaze.

“Hmm… I always feel this, but theology professors decorate their offices so modestly.”

“Haha… You’re saying that to turn around the remark that it looks shabby.”

“Oh, no…! I absolutely didn’t mean that!”

She vigorously denied, waving her hands. I smiled wryly and offered her a cup of tea.

“It smells nice. What kind of tea is this?”

“Just cheap black tea. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, no! I like black tea! I really like black tea.”

Hoorooop—.

The professor sipped on cheap black tea, furrowing her brow as if attempting to savor it, then swallowed with effort. Witnessing her pure and innocent gestures, I couldn’t help but burst into a futile chuckle.

“Pfft.”

“Ah…! I-I’m sorry. It must have looked ridiculous.”

“No, it didn’t.”

She averted her gaze, looking at my nameplate on the desk. I closed my eyes, focusing on sipping the cheap black tea.

“Professor Antonelli…. Your name is unique. Are you from the Holy Empire?”

“No, my father is.”

“Ah…”

“Excuse me, but your name….”

Her expression suddenly turned awkward. I continued to gaze at her without understanding English.

“You don’t know my name?”

“…?”

“Esther. Esther Garrett. New professor in the Department of Illusory Magic. We were together in the auditorium earlier…”

Now that she mentioned it, it did seem that way. Smiling at the tea, I noticed her cheeks puffing up slightly as she turned her head abruptly.

“You’ve only been drinking tea! I was so worried!”

Come to think of it, she had been unusually attentive and concerned even on the bench. Remembering my less-than-enthusiastic response earlier, I started to feel a bit apologetic.

“I’m sorry, Professor Garrett. I appreciated it back then.”

“Hmph. As long as you know! … By any chance, are you not feeling well? You looked really unwell earlier.”

“…Well, a little.”

“Hmm.”

“Professor Garrett, you don’t need to worry so much. It’s a bit of a personal matter.”

“Well, I’m sure you know your health better than I do.”

After a few exchanges, her previously awkward expression suddenly relaxed. Then, she started fidgeting with her fingers.

“And… you can call me Esther.”

“…What?”

“No, well….”

Even without seeing my own face, I could tell it had turned into an expression of confusion. She, blushing, mumbled hesitantly and then sighed as if giving up.

“…Actually, I transferred from another academy. I don’t have any close colleagues here…. I ended up eating alone….”

Amused by her cute pouting lips, I chuckled.

“Starting tomorrow lunch, let’s eat together, Professor Esther.”

“Ah…! Yes! Um… Professor Lucio. Hehe….”

I never gave permission for you to call my name.

“Well, whatever.”

He seemed to be someone with a slightly quirky side. Judging from his noticeable cheerful demeanor, perhaps he had a naturally bright personality.

I closed my eyes and savored the taste of black tea. The bitter flavor of the cheap tea lingered in my mouth.

“Hmm… Professor Lucio seems to really enjoy black tea. If you ever need it, would you like me to give you some premium tea leaves later? I have a lot left over from gifts I received.”

When I opened my eyes, I met Esther Professor’s deer-like eyes, also fixated on the black tea.

“…It’s alright. I don’t drink it for the taste.”

“Oh, then…?”

“Professor Esther, did you know that I drink black tea even in the midst of a battlefield?”

Esther Professor’s expression showed confusion. I silently stared at the teacup as I spoke.

“In a war zone, everything is scarce. Utensils, magic power, and even fuel to start a fire. It’s unimaginable for cooks to prepare meals amidst the chaos of intense battles.”

“Ah…”

“That’s why we usually eat the standard military rations in the battlefield. They have a long shelf life, are easy to cook, and hardly perishable.”

Remnants of the cheap black tea leaves floated in the cup. I gazed blankly at the sea of black tea before me.

“Interestingly, black tea bags are also supplied with the rations. They come with a little bit of sugar. Do you know why?”

“…?”

“After a fierce battle, whenever there’s a little respite, I always drink black tea. When the bittersweet taste of the cheap black tea is complemented by the sweet sugar, just the fact that I can enjoy this small comfort in the present moment reminds me that I am still fully human. In the battlefield, black tea was a kind of stimulant.”

Even though it was cheap and standard issue black tea. Just talking about it left a bitter taste in my mouth.

I looked away from the teacup. Esther Professor’s gaze was wavering. I stared back at those eyes without avoiding.

“In the battlefield, there are also demons roaming around. There were at least five demons that I personally dispatched.”

“Professor Lucio.”

“Have you ever witnessed the sight of humans being torn apart? You probably won’t be able to forget it for the rest of your life. And even in the midst of that, I drank black tea.”

Because I felt like a monster, not a human, even in such a horrendous situation.

That’s why, paradoxically, I drank black tea in order to somehow maintain the shattered remnants of my humanity. It was a way to momentarily escape from the hellish reality.

To me, black tea held that meaning.

“…Professor Lucio, did you participate in the Great War?”

…Oh dear, without realizing it, I seemed to have brought up a heavy topic. I set down the chilled teacup.

“It’s just an old story. I apologize for bringing up such a weighty subject.”

And I snapped out of my reverie. To my surprise, tears filled Esther Professor’s eyes and were now just inches away from falling. Next to me, Esther Professor had somehow crossed the room to sit beside me on the sofa.

“Ah, that startled me. Haha…”

“Professor Lucio, let’s have meals together from tomorrow.”

“Oh, yes.”

Professor Esther tightly hugged my arm and murmured. Unconsciously, I nodded my head to her stubborn tone.

I’m relieved that I didn’t have a seizure this time. That’s what I thought.

Day 1 as a new faculty member. I found someone to have meals with.