Academy Saintess of My Chūni Writing Days

I heard about what happened while I was in a coma, and it was quite the spectacle. The god who had come down was knocked out after fighting demons, and the Central Church was in total chaos.

The problem was that, regardless of my unconscious state, there were actually two other gods present in this world. So, you see, one of those gods was out cold, but from the situation’s perspective, there were three gods chilling in the world. The Central Church was in a state of confusion, unsure whether to mourn or rejoice.

Plus, with three gods descending upon the 1st District Central Church, it was only natural for the believers to flock there.

People lined up outside the Central Church to pray for me. Ariel’s followers were just as fervent. They gathered in droves, desperate to catch a glimpse of their goddess, not wanting to head home until late at night.

The first ones to suffer a mental shock from seeing the goddess were the sculptors affiliated with the church.

All statues entering the church or cathedral were handcrafted by artisans from the Central Church. Naturally, to depict a god’s face, they needed to carve directly into stone, pouring their hearts into the process as an offering. That was the Central Church’s belief.

Thus, the sculptors were mostly chosen from among the deeply faithful, so their numbers weren’t that high. Since they were responsible for all the sculptures in the recognized holy sites and cathedrals, many of the recently constructed cathedrals displayed the buildings first, with the statues not added until much later.

Despite being the deeply devout sculptors, none knew exactly what the goddess looked like.

Which makes sense. Unless a saint or saintess directly drew or sculpted a statue, the saints in this world lived lives far removed from art. Even if they had seen a painting or sculpture, it wouldn’t have conveyed the same vividness as a photograph.

So the sculptors asked to be allowed to see the goddess’s face.

Of course, the merciful Ariel accepted their request.

When the sculptors finally beheld Ariel’s face, they were left in shock, realizing it was vastly different from the statues they had painstakingly crafted with their own hands. Even the once-devout Witch of Jealousy had failed to accurately capture Ariel’s face, so it was to be expected.

Anyway, these devout individuals were the first to prostrate themselves before Ariel.

“I have disrespected the goddess by carving an incorrect image of her.”

“Please punish us.”

At this, Ariel responded, “That’s not a sin. I know you recited prayers each time you poured your hearts into carving my statue. That act was, in itself, a form of hardship that others could not replicate. If the statue you created is not sacred, then how could any prayer in this world be holy?”

…This was a shocking statement that would revolutionize the field of religious art for decades to come.

The notion that a statue carved with a prayerful heart, regardless of its appearance, was a result of a sacred act struck deep, impacting not just the sculptors, but countless artists who heard this message.

Some trembled at the truth of it, while others shed tears. Though they had varied responses, they all took similar actions; they immediately retreated to create new works of art.

“So, you couldn’t finish the painting for the stage?”

I asked the person responsible for delivering that news, my face pale.

“Yes, I’m terribly sorry.”

“No, no, it’s not like we can blame the devoted ones for going to pray for the gods.”

Inside, I was clenched my fists. Just thinking about standing between the colossal paintings of Ariel and Baal was already making me feel suffocated.

Well, in the end, I might have to be up there with the two of them, but maybe that was better. It meant the attention would be divided among three, right?

“Is that so?”

For some reason, the person leading me seemed a bit dazed after hearing my words, but let’s just brush that off for now.

I had heard from Baal that he made the pope faint with some nonsense talk, and that Ariel was the one caring for the pope, so let’s just move on.

Baal could stroll around the church without a care. It wasn’t just because he was a god; it seemed his face wasn’t widely known, so he could pass by people outside without anyone raising an eyebrow.

“With a face like yours, wouldn’t a lot of people recognize you if you appeared on TV? I don’t want to praise you too much, but you are fairly good-looking.”

“Thanks for the compliment.”

Damn.

Baal, who gracefully bowed his head to express his gratitude, went on to explain why he could walk around without being noticed.

“First of all, our faces cannot be captured by a camera. The fact that we’re down here is literally a miracle.”

“Uh…”

So, if someone took a picture of Baal talking, would it just appear like they were talking to themselves?

“It might appear as if something were there because the miracle leaves traces, at least for those with minimal faith. But that’s it. It’s impossible to accurately depict our faces.”

And so, because of that, Baal’s face was still unknown to people outside the church. After all, all his statues were of forms that hid his face.

Moreover, Baal had whimsically procured a priest’s robe to wear, so even if someone saw him, they would just assume, “Is that a priest from the church?”

“Of course, there were some humans staring at me in admiration for being handsome.”

Baal proudly stated.

I threw a pillow at his face again.

Anyway, Baal’s liberty to wander inside the church wasn’t used frivolously; he had been asking passing humans all sorts of questions, mostly about things he was curious about while looking down from the Temple of Gods.

For example,
“What does that thing you eat while watching something fun taste like?”

That day in the church kitchen, an emergency was declared. They brought all the popcorn corn from nearby shops, frying them with all their might, while dozens rushed to pick out the prettiest pieces one by one using tweezers, checking to ensure the salt wasn’t overly concentrated on one side.

“I thought that was how food was made.”

“There’s no food like that in this world.”

I said as I rubbed my face.

“Moreover, you said it has ‘a taste more shabby than expected?’”

“That’s because it was vastly different from what I had made in the Temple of Gods.”

“Then you already knew!”

I slapped Baal’s back, but he didn’t seem to feel it at all.

“Why were you looking for popcorn, anyway? Surely there are more gourmet ingredients available in the church.”

Don’t you usually get more curious about rare ingredients you’d struggle to get even twice in your lifetime than popular snacks?

“Because I needed something to munch on while watching something fun.”

“…You were watching me sleep?”

“Your sleeping face was amusing.”

I slapped Baal’s back again.

Still, Baal didn’t react as if it hurt at all.

Damn.

*

“This is the Papal Office.”

I said, looking up at the door.

“Yeah.”

Baal nodded as he guided me here.

“Wait, didn’t I say, ‘Let’s go where my friends are’?”

“Yeah, this is it.”

Baal politely pointed to the large door of the office. While his actions were polite, his demeanor didn’t come across as such.

“Here?”

When I pointed at the door and asked, Baal nodded.

“But the pope isn’t even here?”

He fainted, didn’t he?

Yet Baal nodded again.

“…”

I stared at Baal, but it didn’t seem he was going to provide a clear answer.

Sighing lightly, I opened the door to the office.

“Um, um, so this is about the expansion in the 3rd District?”

“Yes, that’s right. It’s about constructing a new church due to the increase in believers.”

“Uh, Lina, are you very busy? If not, could we work on this together?”

“Sorry, I still have a pile of papers here…”

There were three saintesses battling with a mountain of papers.

“…”

I blankly stared at the trio, too busy to spare me a glance, and quietly closed the door.

I was about to close it.

Creeeak.

It seemed the hinges on the old door were squeaky.

Despite the small sound that would probably be drowned out by the commotion inside, the three heard it somehow.

All eyes inside the office focused on me.

“…”

“…”

A tense silence filled the air.

“Uh…”

I racked my brain for words, then nodded and said, “Good luck.”

And I finished closing the door.

“Wait!”

I heard a desperate cry from inside, but I shut it without hesitation.

Great, I saw nothing.

“Let’s go.”

“Didn’t you say you came to meet your friends?”

“Let’s go.”

I turned around and started walking quickly.

“Hmm.”

Baal made an amused sound.

After a couple of steps, suddenly a loud bang! echoed as the door flew open behind me.

“Clara!”

Someone called me, and I visibly heard footsteps pounding on the ground.

In the next moment, I found myself tumbling to the floor.

I wasn’t rolling alone; someone had come from behind and tackled me down.

“Wake up! If you’re awake, say something!”

Lina shouted from behind as she firmly hugged my waist. Looking at how tightly she was squeezing and how she was grappling with me, it seemed this was definitely not a warm embrace of joy.

“I just saw you! Isn’t that enough?!”

“It’s not enough! What are we going to do now? Because of you! Because of you!”

I struggled to loosen Lina’s grip on my waist, but her arms held on tightly with all her strength.

“I was working right where the pope fainted!”

Her voice trembled with emotion; it sounded like she was about to burst into tears at any moment.

…But it was clear she wasn’t crying out of concern for me; it was because she didn’t want to work.

“…”

As we rolled around on the floor, I heard more footsteps approaching.

Several people were racing over.

“Um, Lina? You do realize we’re rolling around on the church floor, right? Maybe we should let go of each other and have a calm conversation?”

“You call me a saint! The moment the Pope is gone, I’m the highest authority in the Central Church! I tried to voice my refusal, but they just coaxed me instead!”

“…”

Oh, so it didn’t work on her either.

But given the circumstances, I could hardly blame anyone. The pope’s position needed to be filled with someone competent if he was out cold.

In the end, I abandoned the attempt to pry Lina off me and just let my body go limp. It seemed I would have to wait until she calmed down with her face buried in my back.

…Was it really that dreadful for her?

Eventually, I remained stuck on the floor with Lina until Aurora, Linea, and the others from the office all gathered.

*

“…”

“Clara, I’m a bit disappointed that you turned and ran away like that.”

“I’m sorry.”

I sincerely apologized to Aurora.

“I know you don’t want to work, but that’s no reason to run away like that, is it?”

“I truly apologize.”

I respectfully apologized to Linea as well.

“You’re here because of you.”

“No, but I’m a saint; I have to work if the pope is absent…”

“…”

Everyone stared at me intently.

“I apologize.”

I simply acknowledged my wrongdoing.

“Indeed, running away from your duties is cowardly.”

“Who are you to say that! You!”

I couldn’t let Baal’s comment slide.

“You’re the one who made the pope faint! If you hadn’t said that nonsense, he would’ve been fine sitting right here! It was a situation where the saintess wouldn’t have needed to fill in!”

“Hmm.”

Hearing my words, Baal scanned the room.

…Everyone, including Linea, Aurora, and Lina, looked at me with wide eyes. Ah, while these people had accepted my status as a goddess, seeing a god mouthing off to another god must have made for quite a spectacle.

Rather than a spectacle, it looked terrifying.

Aware of the curious gazes around me, I reluctantly folded my fingers again, and Baal cleared his throat and said, “I apologize. I didn’t mean for you to suffer simply because of me.”

And he bowed politely.

…My head was spinning.

This body may still be young enough that blood pressure shouldn’t present any issues. Not that I was unhealthy either.

Yet, my blood pressure was surging, making me believe this must be some effect of a demon god’s abilities.

I started rubbing the back of my neck and glanced around again.

People were observing as Baal apologized, and I could see their nervous expressions looking at me as if I were an absolute deity capable of destroying worlds with a single finger.

“…”

I stared down at Baal. A god with hundreds of years worth of wisdom certainly had an air of cunning about him. Faced with such profound wisdom, it was no surprise my incomplete thirty-odd years of life felt hopeless by comparison.

If I denied this, no one would believe me anyway.

“I forgive you.”

Finally, as I let out a long sigh, Baal smiled and lifted his head.

To the others, it would look like that expression represented someone who had just received divine forgiveness. To me, it felt akin to Cheshire Cat playing with Alice.

*

In the end, I decided to tackle the paperwork alongside the saintesses.

Of course, my position as a ‘goddess’ was different from that of the saintesses Linea, Aurora, and Lina. I was technically not even a part of the church hierarchy, as gods love all beings beneath them equally, free of distinctions related to churches or governments. However, I had unwittingly built a rapport with the church, causing the two other summoned gods to also be present with me here at the church.

From an outsider’s perspective, it would be hard not to feel some discomfort in this arrangement, but it was what it was.

Ultimately, my existence couldn’t simply be categorized within the church’s hierarchy. Which church would dare assign paperwork to the deity they worshipped? So, when I announced my willingness to help, the bureaucrats trying to assist the children nearly lost their minds.

Of course, they had no choice but to accept since a goddess was volunteering.

“Hey.”

As I sighed heavily while signing a document, Lina nudged me in the side.

“If you keep poking me like that, I might mess up my signature.”

“I don’t care about that.”

…Well, I guess it didn’t entirely matter.

“I saw earlier; is it true that you’re the leader of the gods? You’ve been denying it all along.”

“…”

I closed my eyes, paused my hand mid-signature, and took a deep breath.

“Uh, uh, no. Yeah, if you say so…”

It seemed Lina was slightly intimidated by my expression.

…Great, even if I denied it, no one would believe me now.

I reopened my eyes and resumed signing. I glanced around the room.

There was Baal, still seated.

Sitting in a chair, he held a bag of popcorn, enjoying it deliciously.

“…”

I seriously contemplated throwing my pen at him but ultimately chose to let out another heavy sigh instead.

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