Absentia

By the time Kane reached high school, he had become incredibly skilled with computers.

But this talent led him into serious trouble.

While sitting in that cold, stove-heated house, he had hacked into several banking systems.

And he had been caught.

A legal process had begun.

His mother had no choice but to have a serious conversation with him. She told him it was time for him to start working.

And Kane agreed.

Because he was exhausted from the court proceedings.

Compared to his peers, he was obese and sluggish.

He had almost entirely lost his ability to hold a conversation and had become completely antisocial.

Somehow, he needed to escape this downward spiral.

His mother's boss found him a job.

He was tasked with managing the website of the company where she worked.

Slowly, Kane began to fall into a structured life.

At first, he struggled greatly.

But even a job he knew nothing about soon became familiar to him.

As a mere teenager, he found himself in charge of an entire company's online operations.

And his salary, compared to his mother's, was even better.

First, he signed up for a gym.

With the determination of a child, he shed all his excess weight.

And now, he was commuting to work regularly.

During this period, Kane met a girl online.

She was his first love.

He loved her with a childish innocence. But there was a great distance between them.

What began as flirtatious exchanges slowly turned into more passionate conversations.

They talked on the phone, sent each other intimate pictures, and called each other at every opportunity.

Kane crossed cities to see her, traveling to where she lived.

He held her hands, embraced her.

At that moment, his heart beat only for her.

He met her friends. They all followed each other on social media.

Everything seemed perfect.

But one day, Kane called his girlfriend from a friend's phone.

After the call ended, an unexplainable unease settled in his chest.

Shortly after, she began to grow distant.

Slowly, she was turning into a cold-hearted stranger.

Kane was not accustomed to this kind of emotional pain.

Her change crushed him.

It felt as if a million elephants were pressing down on his chest.

He didn't know what to do.

Or why.

One day, he accessed her social media account.

He had guessed her password.

He checked her messages.

At the top, he saw her closest friend.

He clicked and started reading.

Her best friend and the woman he loved had already met three or four times.

And Kane had no idea.

At that moment, an unbearable coldness seeped into his bones.

He didn't know what to do.

He wanted something—anything—to ease his pain.

He walked into the kitchen.

Grabbed the sharpest knife he could find.

And slit his wrists.

It was the only solution he could think of to silence the voices in his head and keep his heart from bursting out of his chest in shattered pieces.

At that moment, his sister walked into the room.

For the first time, Kane saw a thousandfold version of his own helplessness reflected in his sister's eyes.

At that moment, Mirai was no longer just a little girl.

She had become someone who didn't know what to do—but knew she had to do something.

She immediately called for their mother.

Blood was pouring from Kane's wrists.

But Mirai, despite being someone who could not stand the sight of blood, did not faint.

She didn't even blink.

She grabbed her brother, held him upright.

Pressed down on his wrists, trying to stop the bleeding.

That day, in that place…

Kane had no idea that he had just shattered his sister's mind.

But years later, he would realize it.

For now, the only thing he wanted was to die.

He hated himself for letting his family see him in this state.

Kane had collapsed.

He was no longer as happy at work.

Even when he had court hearings, he didn't care.

He couldn't stand being alone at home.

He hated his best friend.

He trusted no one.

He just went to work.

But he had stopped going to the gym.

Then…

He was introduced to drugs in another social circle.

At first…

The voices in his head fell silent.

Then…

He discovered alcohol.

With each drink…

His body went numb.

He would sleep for hours without remembering what had happened.

But it wasn't enough.

His productivity at work declined.

And with his ongoing legal issues, he decided to stop lying and simply quit going altogether.

His boss called him repeatedly.

"Come back when you're better," he said.

But Kane didn't care.

He just…

Wanted to sleep.

He didn't want to wake up.

He would open his eyes…

Click on a newly discovered anime…

Then crawl back into bed…

And stare blankly at the screen…

Until he passed out.

The drugs he took before bed silenced his mind, blocking out all thoughts.

But a child who stops thinking cannot find a solution.

And the more he failed to find a solution, the larger his void grew.

He had collapsed.

He was collapsing.

And he kept collapsing.

His family never caught him.

But still…

His mother would come to his bedside at night, crying, hugging him, kissing him.

And that only made Kane's heart ache even more.

He needed to escape.

Because he was hurting those around him.

He made a decision.

He told his mother he wanted to stay at a friend's house for a while.

But he didn't say it as a request—he spoke as if he was going no matter what.

And his mother…

She knew him better than he knew himself.

So…

She let him go with her own hands.

He stayed at his friend's house for four or five months.

During that time, he started reading books.

His friend's family treated him like one of their own.

Their home was warm.

Their cupboards were full.

And they were the kind of family Kane had always dreamed of having.

Slowly…

Kane started feeling like he belonged there.

But he only called his mother once or twice a month.

Sometimes, he didn't pick up at all.

He was running away from his family.

And he didn't even realize it.

Meanwhile…

His mother was crying for him at night.

And without knowing it, he had shown his sister that suicide was a way to escape.

He had no idea.

One day…

His mother found his sister's suicide notes.

She didn't know what to do.

The only thing she knew…

Was that for years to come, she would have to keep watch over both her son and her daughter.

Not wanting to leave her daughter alone, she invited a woman she knew from work to live with them.

And… she became part of the family.

Meanwhile, Kane…

Went with his friend and their family to a summer house.

He stayed there for about six months.

Then, his friend's family expressed a desire to meet Kane's mother.

There were servants in the house.

Kane had never grown up in a family like this.

He feared that when his family arrived, they would embarrass him.

But still, he called his mother and invited her.

They arrived at the bus station.

Kane saw his mother and sister.

They had a large suitcase with them.

Beside their luggage, they carried a massive gift package.

First, they went to the house.

But Kane kept warning his mother:

"These are the house rules, don't put that there, don't do that."

As if…

If they did something wrong, this dream would shatter.

Until his mother and sister left…

It felt like he had brought them into his own personal prison.

And before she left, his mother told him one last thing:

"You've become their child, my dear… Don't be so ashamed, we're leaving tomorrow."

At that moment…

Kane's heart ached.

He reevaluated all his thoughts.

But…

Tomorrow had already arrived.

Without a single moment of sleep, he accompanied his mother and sister to the bus station.

Her words weighed heavily on him.

He thought…

And thought…

But then…

He decided to shut his mind off again.

He wouldn't think.

His friend was now his closest companion.

His friend's family had become like his own.

But Kane wasn't happy.

He didn't know why.

And then he realized.

He wasn't happy because he was running away from life.

He needed to go back.

His friend and their family didn't want him to leave.

But Kane wanted to.

He had to.

At the bus station, it was his turn to be the one waiting.

After hugging his friend and their family, he grabbed his computer and essential belongings.

Then, he boarded the bus.

At that moment…

All his thoughts, all the strange tides of emotions, flooded his mind as he sat in his seat.

His eyes flickered golden.

Then, they returned to normal.

As the bus slowly pulled away, he put on his headphones and watched the world outside.

He slowly closed his eyes.

And when he opened them again…

A police officer was nudging him.

"Show me your ID."

Kane, still groggy from sleep, took a moment to process what was happening.

He reached into his pocket, pulled out his ID, and handed it to the officer.

The officer walked through the bus, collecting everyone's IDs.

Then, he stepped away to verify them.

After a while…

A firm voice rang out from the front of the bus:

"Kane, come to the front."

At that moment…

Every passenger turned to look at him.

He felt all eyes on him.

His skin prickled.

He hated being stared at like this.

It terrified him.

Because in the past few years, the number of people he had interacted with was barely twenty.

Slowly, he stood up.

Pulled his hoodie over his head.

Then, he walked toward the front of the bus with quick steps.

What had happened?

What had he done this time?

Kane slowly stepped down from the bus.

The police officer fixed his gaze on him.

He took a deep breath and spoke slowly:

"You're listed as a military deserter."

At that moment…

Kane's mind roared.

Thoughts flooded his head.

His mother had warned him before.

"Son, come back. Let's handle your deferment. Otherwise, you'll be marked as a deserter."

He had heard those words.

But…

Back then, he hadn't cared much.

A few papers were signed.

The officers let him go.

And Kane slowly stepped back onto the bus.

He sat down in his seat.

Examined the paper in his hands.

Maybe this was a sign.

His next destination had already been decided.

He pulled out his phone.

Called his mother.

Told her what had happened.

But her response was the same.

"I told you before."

They talked for a few minutes.

Then he hung up.

And put his headphones back on.

As the bus pulled into the station, the shouting of the crowd scraped against Kane's ears.

The sun pierced through his eyelids, its white light glaring into his eyes.

The bus had already arrived at its final stop.

His mother…

Despite everything, had taken leave from work.

She had come to pick him up.

She didn't want him dragging his luggage all the way home by himself.

But Kane…

He was too blind to notice even this small detail until much later.

He and his mother loaded his belongings into the car.

He was going home.