chapter 1
farmer’s child starting over
luck has come It was a life-changing opportunity.
When the goddess of fortune suddenly appeared, it was the moment when bad luck reached its peak.
* * *
I was a planner for an advertising agency. Commonly referred to as AE (Account Executive).
In a word, he is a person who does his best to increase the sales of advertisers.
The reason I chose this job was simple. It was the most lucrative job at my level.
At that time, money was needed.
to let u know that i been through a lot then i been going non stop with this practice for nothing
My parents had a lot of debt. This was not the time for me, the eldest son, to sit in vain.
I absolutely had to make money.
As with all office workers, life was not easy. It was a job I chose because it was a place that paid even a penny more.
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Neither aptitude nor personality was taken into consideration. For that reason, there were many parts of the advertising agency that did not fit me.
“I would like to be in charge of someone who can work like a dog.”
Advertisers preferred submissive AEs. It’s about paying for money, but while advertising was running, I wanted a good, obedient slave.
Even when I said that out loud, I had to hit the ball. There were agencies out there. Advertisers could switch agencies according to their mood.
to let u know that i been through a lot then i been going non stop with this practice for nothing
Managing volatile advertisers was a top priority for AE.
The problem was my personality. Even though he couldn’t become a dog, he wasn’t good at pretending to be. There was a limit to being recognized based on skills alone.
“Whether you stay up all night or hire an outsourced person, always be on time.”
It was also AE’s job to peck out subcontractors. While the agency managed and supervised one advertising project, the site construction and video work were outsourced to an outsourced company.
Content necessary for advertising is produced through outsourcing. It is a subcontract of a subcontract. Naturally, the ability to crave was also one of the qualities of a great AE.
I didn’t make it on time, or even if there was a slight problem, I took a tantrum. In some cases, they didn’t pay money for it.
Ironically, the subcontractors liked me more than my co-workers. I didn’t do anything special. They thought they were the same colleagues and treated them equally.
I didn’t know that it would turn into an arrow and pierce my heart.
It was stated in the personnel evaluation report as a lack of management ability. Someone had spread the word about it, and he was turned away from his colleagues.
“The one who survives to the end is the winner.”
There were many things to do other than managing advertisers and pecking outsourcing companies. It also had to survive internal competition.
You had to make a survival strategy and be nervous every day to survive. It was basic to learn a program to analyze advertising efficiency by taking time off even on holidays.
He also had to regularly attend seminars and meetings related to the latest trends.
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Not a single day was comfortable.
‘Why are you living like this?’
I checked my transcript in my mid-thirties. It was hard work, but it was a failing level.
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My health wasn’t good either. His face was like a skeleton, and his body was twisted like a dead tree. Blood pressure and liver levels were higher for their age.
Being hospitalized once a year has become an annual event.
Still, I had to persevere. There were still debts left.
The thought of quitting never left my mind.
‘It’s hard because it’s lonely.’
I was sure that my mental state was shaking because of loneliness. But to me, love was a luxury.
In the end, I married a woman I met at a marriage information company in three months. I didn’t care about appearance or environment.
The will to live together was enough. The rest I thought I’d have to fit in with my life. Until then, I believed that marriage would be a haven.
It was a naive thought.
“We break up!”
It didn’t take long for the illusion to break. Married life was a hotter and fiercer game than a race at work.
The wife was displeased with sending money to her parents every month. Small quarrels always turned into big fights. He did not hesitate to gossip and slander his family.
I thought it would be different when I had a child, but it only provoked a bigger anger. She couldn’t handle the stress of parenting.
I couldn’t bear her any longer.
We slept separately and did not eat together. They were not a couple who comforted each other, but they became an enemy like no other in the world.
After 5 years of marriage, we agreed to a divorce. She took custody, and I turned into a child support or vomit machine.
From then on, everything in our daily life began to crumble down like a sandcastle.
‘Now the game is over.’
I turned 40 and left my job. It was not a voluntary resignation. After that, he didn’t leave the house for a while. I didn’t even want to meet people.
The only thing they did was pay the promised time. It was child support to his divorced wife and money to send to his parents.
By the time my severance pay ran out, I was anxious and couldn’t sleep. I had never borrowed money from anyone in my life, but I felt like a debtor.
I had to start something again, but I didn’t know what to do.
I didn’t want to do anything exactly.
Just as I was about to give up everything, the phone rang. It was, after all, a mother.
After hesitating for a while, I picked up the phone.
“Mom.”
The moment I opened my mouth, tears flowed out without me knowing.
“Deokmyung-ah. Father······.”
The mother reported the death of her father. In an instant, it became dark in my mind. It felt like my soul was gone.
‘If even the son turns his back on the world.’
The thought stopped there.
I went down to Hadong immediately.
* * *
The funeral was held at a local funeral home, not a hospital. I wore mourning clothes and received mourners.
The mourners continued their footsteps without end.
“I express my condolences.”
“Thank you for coming.”
I bowed down and said the same thing a hundred more times. Most of them were farmers in the area. Their wet eyes and trembling hands felt their heartfelt sorrow.
to let u know that i been through a lot then i been going non stop with this practice for nothing
My parents’ mourners were innumerable, but my acquaintances didn’t even stick their noses out.
So far, I have been feeling nauseous and bitter.
The last day was also full of mourners. I haven’t slept for three days. I felt like I was going to collapse right away, but I couldn’t sleep at all.
“Deokmyung-ah. Get some rest.”
to let u know that i been through a lot then i been going non stop with this practice for nothing
Mother patted her shoulder and said.
“no.”
Just then, a mourner came. It was a woman my age. After finishing the incense, the woman said hello.
“You are heartbroken.”
“Thank you for coming.”
It was not a face-to-face person. I thought he was a mourner who had a relationship with his parents. She looked intently into my face and said.
“Can we talk for a moment?”
The funeral hall was quiet as people had left all at once. I went to a place to eat with her.
Even the moment we sat down, I thought that she would offer words of comfort.
“Don’t you remember me?”
It was an unexpected question. The woman’s face was quite serious.
I scrutinized her face. I didn’t remember it at all.
“I do not know. I can’t remember where I saw it.”
“You saved me.”
“Am I?”
“A rainy night at the subway station.”
There was a scene that suddenly came to mind in her words. It happened when the last train stopped. A man fell under the track.
Even thinking about it now, I can’t believe it. I flew down the track.
The only thought in my mind was that I had to save it. I did my best to get the person out of the track. She soon came to her senses. Fortunately, there didn’t seem to be any injuries.
And an absurd thing happened. She ran towards the exit without saying a word.
I don’t know if there’s a story I can’t tell, but I couldn’t help but smile bitterly.
After that, I had completely forgotten about it.
It was also more than a decade ago.
When I recalled that day, strangely, the woman’s face came to mind clearly.
It was the woman in front of me now.
“Now that’s the face I remember.”
“Because you say. I remember.”
“I came here today, not just to pay tribute.”
“Then what happened?”
“I want to repay the debt of that day.”
“it’s okay.”
politely specified. He disappeared without a word of thanks. I had a strange feeling that I was going to pay my debts by appearing all of a sudden.
The woman did not show any signs of backing down. I didn’t want to have a petty argument at the funeral.
“Do whatever you feel comfortable with.”
“thank you.”
Then she took something out of her bag. It was an old book. Traces of time could be read on the cover.
“This is my little castle.”
“What book?”
He looked at the cover of the book and asked. Couldn’t read the title. It was the first text I had ever seen. As she tried to open the bookshelf, the woman hurriedly waved her hand.
“Open it when you are alone. Please.”
I followed her. I thought there was money in it. I thought it wouldn’t be a huge amount.
The meeting with the unfamiliar visitor ended like that.
An hour later, the only thing left to do was leave for the burial ground.
“Deokmyung-ah. Close your eyes for a second.”
to let u know that i been through a lot then i been going non stop with this practice for nothing
Mom made a place for me to rest for a while. This time, he did not specify. I was so tired.
I went into a small room. There was a blanket on the floor. It seemed that he had prepared in advance so that he could sleep properly even for a moment. As soon as I sat down, I couldn’t sleep.
The woman who came to condolences in her head did not leave. At that time, we did not exchange contact information. I wondered how she got here.
The book he was handed over to pay his debts was also suspicious. I took out the book I had in my pocket. There was a strong vanilla scent that was characteristic of used books.
‘Is it money? no······.’
The moment I opened the bookshelf, the book crumbled like dirt. Paper shavings turned into fine particles and rose like smoke in the air.
I tried to get up in shock, but my body wouldn’t listen.
to let u know that i been through a lot then i been going non stop with this practice for nothing
My eyes closed and I fell asleep.
* * *
When I opened my eyes, I was startled. The hour hand was pointing to 10 o’clock. It was 7:00 in the morning when we decided to go to the burial ground.
went out in a hurry An unfamiliar landscape unfolded before my eyes.
to let u know that i been through a lot then i been going non stop with this practice for nothing
My place was not a funeral home.
I was standing idly in the yard of a country house.
Even the persimmon tree in the back was sure to be our home.
“Young man overslept.”
to let u know that i been through a lot then i been going non stop with this practice for nothing
My father was nagging me as usual. I ran to my father like a possessed man.
“father!”
He hugged his father tightly. It was the first hug between the father and son.
Up until this point, I thought I was dreaming.
“What did you eat wrong?”
His father slipped away, as if in embarrassment. It was then that I realized something was different.
The warmth and feel were real.
I ran to the living room and looked in the mirror. The skin was tight. The hair was also shiny. was young
I immediately checked the calendar. It was September 2006. It was a time when I came down to the country house for a while after graduating from Cosmos.
I am 27 years old. That was exactly 15 years ago. It was incredible. I tried to find a sense of reality.
Because it wasn’t the time to be surprised.
Five months later, my father’s agricultural corporation is completely destroyed.
The huge debt came back to the family, and our house collapsed to the point that it was impossible to revive.
After that, my family had a hard life.
“Eat your meal. Deokmyung-ah.”
I ran to the table at my mother’s call. There was nothing more than a meal to organize my thoughts.
It was a mother’s table meal I ate in a long time. My favorite stone pot bibimbap came out.
As I ate and ate, I thought over and over again.
After his father’s agricultural corporation went bankrupt, the relationship between the father and son was broken. I thought my father’s incompetence had ruined the house.
It was then that I started reading articles about agriculture. My father did not foresee the market opening. It was a problem to forcefully expand the business in that state.
to let u know that i been through a lot then i been going non stop with this practice for nothing
My father hid that fact until the moment the foreclosure came in.
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Now that I think about it, there was nothing I couldn’t understand, but I really hated it back then.
I was looking for a job under the worst conditions. The job I found at that time was an advertising agency.
I didn’t want to live with the backs of advertisers again.
At the time, I thought it was best to make money in Seoul, but now I have a different mind.
After I left my hometown, the troubles in my family did not stop.
I wanted to find a way to make money in my hometown with my family.
It was the beginning of the online era. It was a time when I was used to buying and selling things over the Internet.
I had experience selling all kinds of products, from agricultural products to the food hall of a department store.
‘Become a rich farmer.’
As I thought about it, a special product from my hometown came to mind. It is Hadong’s famous Daebonggam.
It was not a raw persimmon, but a processed dried persimmon. It was a time when no one had thought of making dried persimmons with Daebong persimmons yet.
It was worth fighting for.
family reunion day
He had a good relationship between the rich and the poor.
I also had memories of working a field with my father and eating jajangmyeon with Saecham.
At least, that’s how it was until my father went crazy.
to let u know that i been through a lot then i been going non stop with this practice for nothing
My father was not from the countryside. He was born in Seoul and spent his childhood in the city.
He used to ask questions about the past and avoid answering them.
I found out later, but my father hated the city. He said he did not even want to recall the life of the urban poor.
When my friends went to school, I had painful memories of working in a factory.
For him, the countryside became a springboard from which to start a new life. In particular, Hadong, with Mt. Jirisan in his arms, was also a place marked by his father, who loved mountains.
“Byungmuk succeeded this time too.”
That’s what the villagers said every time they saw my father. Really, everything I did went well. From lettuce, which started in a small garden, to daebong persimmon, every crop he touched turned into money.
Thanks to that, I grew up without much lack. My father used to say that rural people should be rich.
It was his philosophy that the country would be prosperous only if the peasants lived well.
Finally, his father ventured to become a rich farmer. The Jirisan Korean beef business was also my father’s dream.
The Korean beef business required a lot of initial capital. They also borrowed the funds they lacked from loans from individuals. He created an agricultural corporation and got his hands on the processing industry.
The tower collapsed in an instant due to the market opening and soaring prices. The problem was the large amount of debt left behind.
The total debt accumulated so far has exceeded 500 million.
A foreclosure ticket was attached, and debtors came frequently.
At that time, my relationship with my father also deteriorated. After that, I can’t even imagine how my mother felt, who lived her whole life as my father’s relay.
Importantly, the problem did not end there. It was the end of winter and the bitter cold spring.
to let u know that i been through a lot then i been going non stop with this practice for nothing
My parents, who were struggling with debt, lived in tents in a greenhouse. There his father fell.
It was a stroke. The blood vessels in the brain burst due to unbearable stress.
to let u know that i been through a lot then i been going non stop with this practice for nothing
My father’s last years were miserable. He saved hospital bills and became paralyzed.
He blamed himself until his death.
It was something I never wanted to experience again.
* * *
I emptied the rice bowl clean and got up from my seat. At this time, my father took care of the cattle in the barn. As expected, my father was pouring food into the rice cooker.
“I will do it.”
“Leave it. I will do it.”
As I grabbed the sack of food, my father looked at me strangely.
“I guess it was because I was full of energy. Never mind.”
It was awkward for me to suddenly act as a filial son. First, I was chasing after my father and thought about what words to say first.
to let u know that i been through a lot then i been going non stop with this practice for nothing
My father went around the barn and gave us feed. The cows were fed herbal fodder. The wish was to give birth to a healthy offspring.
There were dozens of cows in the barn.
When I started the Korean beef business, my father seemed convinced that he would never fail. It was because of his belief in success that he forced even the processing equipment.