A Perverted Galaxy Far Far Away (Star Wars)

A/N: Here's the new Chapter! Which also means the next four chapters are up on my Patreon for early access as well as the chance to vote on the direction of the story!

Tylo gets corrected a bit, things proceed at a fast pace.

-x-X-x-

He wasn’t going to leave Asajj on either of the ships. The Dathomirian Woman was in too fragile of a state for that, Tylo had quickly judged. However, asking Janga if she happened to have an extra set of Mandalorian Armor just lying around had quickly disabused him of THAT notion as well.

Tylo still felt like dressing Ventress like a Mandalorian was the best way to hide her on a planet full of Mandalorians… but as Janga was quick to remind him, there wasn’t really any such thing as ‘spare Mandalorian Armor’. So much had happened since Tylo’s own trip to Mandalore that he may have forgotten just how much of a chore it had been to properly disguise even himself for the infiltration of Death Watch.

Put bluntly, if Bo-Katan and her comrade hadn’t had any spare Mandalorian Armor lying around, obviously Janga wasn’t going to have any either. Beskar might not be hard to come by on Mandalore, but the smithing techniques for it definitely were. In the end… well, his idea of disguising Asajj as a Mandalorian died a swift death in its cradle.

However, just because Janga only had her one set of beskar didn’t mean she didn’t have other sets of bounty hunter gear. Sometimes flying under the radar was better than making a statement and wearing a suit of armor that screamed ‘Mandalorian Here!’ at the top of its lungs. And so while Tylo couldn’t dress Asajj up as a Mandalorian… they did get her disguised as a bounty hunter with full body armor and a helmet that hid her very distinctive, very infamous features from view.

As such, when Tylo finally descended down the ramp of Janga’s ship once they landed on Mandalore at a private landing pad alongside Bo-Katan and Rook Kast, it was with Janga AND Asajj at his back.

Needless to say, the reactions are interesting. Bo-Katan is the first to notice, her gaze panning over the three of them and then settling on Asajj.

Heh, of course. Probably fucked her good or something insane like that.

Tylo very carefully keeps his reaction to that off of his face. Aayla takes a little longer to notice, mostly on account of being more focused on him than on those with him. She’s brought his Mandalorian Armor out of Bo-Katan’s ship with them, so it’s not until she’s handed it over that she finally notices he’s got more than just Janga at his back.

As Aayla helps him get into his armor, she peers at Asajj briefly, not just physically but also in the Force. After a moment, she tosses him a glance.

You are trying something quite… experimental, my dear, dear Padawan. Please do not let it blow up in your face.

Tylo huffs a bit at that. Hypocritical much? Aayla had literally done the same thing for him that he was now trying to do for Asajj. And sure, the Dark Side hadn’t had its claws in HIM nearly as badly as it did Ventress, but the point remained. Still, Aayla doesn’t condemn or judge, nor does she ask him if he knows what he’s doing or anything like that. All she does is offer him a simple warning and plead with him to be careful. That sort of faith… it’s reaffirming in a way.

And honestly, he needs Aayla and Bo-Katan’s reactions, because the others are… definitely a bit more negative. Rook Kast actually probably clocks Asajj’s presence and what it means only second to Bo-Katan, but the former Death Watch only seems to care in so far as how Boba will react to it. Rook tenses up as she glances towards the young Mandalorian she’s pledged her service to, waiting for Boba to finally catch on.

Funnily enough, this seems to be one of the few cases where Boba, who is definitely a warrior child through and through, proves to be more child than warrior. In the end, she only seems to have eyes for her mother, soaking in Janga’s presence and very happy to be at her side again. It’s not until Maris finally speaks up that she realizes what’s going on.

“Ah… are you sure this is a good idea, Master?”

Maris’ concerns come from a good place, so Tylo doesn’t get too mad as she looks between him and Ventress with no small amount of worry on her face. Ventress tenses up but otherwise stays silent… however, Boba finally clocks what’s going on and though she’s confused for a moment about why there are two armored women following him out of her mother’s ship instead of just one, she quickly puts two and two together.

Oh, it’s THAT bitch.

Stomping forward, Boba gets in Asajj’s face, making the latter stiffen up in anticipation. Or rather, the half-pint gets as much in the full-grown woman’s face as possible. But just because Boba isn’t a woman grown yet doesn’t mean she isn’t a killer. Tylo tenses up as he finishes with the last straps on his armor. He’s ready to stop any violence that might bubble up, even if Janga looks ready to step in and stop HIM if her daughter does decide she wants her pound of flesh after all.

Silence has fallen over the landing pad, with even Maris quiet now as the Jedi Padawan looks like she regrets pointing out the obvious. It’s not her fault though. Boba would have realized eventually and better now while they were still in relative privacy then later on when they were surrounded by others.

Hmph. Good.

And yet, violence doesn’t manifest itself. Maybe Boba reads something akin to defeat in Asajj’s posture. Maybe she just can’t fathom a world where her mother would have simply let Ventress go after what had happened without some serious concessions. Maybe the young girl had somehow picked up on how Tylo operated more than he’d wanted her to, though that last option was something he could only hope wasn’t true.

Either way, in the end Boba just crosses her arms over her chest and nods, a self-satisfied smirk on her lips.

“A bitch like you only really knows how to do one thing. Obey your betters. You’ll be a good, loyal hound now, won’t you?”

A ripple of… something goes through those watching. Tylo is right alongside all of the others in simply not knowing how to feel about the words coming out of Boba’s mouth. There’s nothing sexual in it, he can literally read her mind after all. She DOESN’T seem to realize anything truly untoward has happened. No, she just imagines that Asajj ‘platonically’ broke and changed loyalties on the ride over.

As for Asajj herself… she bows her helmeted head in easy agreement while very clearly sneaking a peek in his direction.

“Yes.”

I swear it. I will be the General’s loyal hound. No matter what.”

Ah… three steps forward, two steps back. Well, as much damage as Boba had done with her words just now, at least she hadn’t pulled out her blaster and tried to do something more permanent. Turning to stand at her mother’s side, Boba finally looks him in the eye, scowling at him rather angrily… though inwardly she’s fairly calm.

“Best keep her on a short leash, Jetii.”

Tylo smiles softly.

“I will Boba. Thank you.”

His honest gratitude for not resorting to violence seems to take the young girl back for a moment before she just huffs and looks away. With that bit of drama over and done with, it’s down to business.

“I used old Nite Owl codes for landing. It won’t cover us for long, but then we were never going to have an eternity. Eventually Dooku will realize that neither Fett nor Ventress are coming back and act accordingly.”

Bo-Katan’s no-nonsense words bring a round of nods to everyone involved. Indeed, there was really no helping it. They only had a limited amount of time before Dooku and therefore Palpatine realized something was up. But they couldn’t exactly send the information they had over comm channels, even the most encrypted ones.

With Darth Sidious at the head of the entire fucking Republic, even encrypted Jedi Channels had to be assumed to be unsecured at this point. Palpatine had had way too long to worm his way into the inner workings of not just the Republic, but also the Jedi Order. And now that they knew who and what he really was, it had become incredibly obvious that he was gathering power to the Office of Supreme Chancellor.

He made a show of seeming reluctant of course, of making it seem like he didn’t want it, but as the war raged on under his and Dooku’s machinations, the Senate continued to pile more and more emergency powers onto him. At this rate it wouldn’t be long before he was a dictator in all but name.

So what were they to do? Well, they needed to inform the Jedi High Council of Palpatine’s true identity, obviously. But if they couldn’t do that through comms, and returning to Coruscant would alert Sidious to Aayla’s survival, what were they to do? They could have technically returned to Kamino to contact Master Ti directly, but at least some part of the Kaminoans were in on this whole shitshow.

On top of that, Janga wanted to go after Death Watch sooner rather than later. This, as it turned out, was rather serendipitous however… because there just so happened to be a member of the Jedi High Council ON Mandalore thanks to Tylo himself.

Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and Tylo might not have always seen eye to eye on everything. In fact to this day, Tylo was pretty sure Master Kenobi greatly disapproved of him. Not that the quintessential Jedi Master didn’t have good reason to, given the things Tylo had gotten up to with his Padawan. Though in all fairness to Tylo himself, if they were going to point fingers at who corrupted who precisely, he felt it was much more fair to point out that Annie and Padme had actually gone and gotten MARRIED behind Obi-Wan’s back.

… But given that Tylo knew about that and had kept it a secret from the Jedi Master all this time, he was pretty sure that knowledge wouldn’t raise him any further in the other man’s esteem. Still, at the end of the day, it didn’t matter what differences they had. Obi-Wan Kenobi was their only hope and Tylo couldn’t imagine that he would let some petty differences of opinion keep him from listening to what they had to say and looking over the evidence they’d uncovered of Sidious’ true identity.

Right?

-x-X-x-

“This is incredibly serious. The Council must be made aware of this immediately.”

… Huh. For some reason, Tylo really hadn’t expected it to be that easy despite his earlier thoughts. A couple hours after landing on Mandalore, he and Aayla had managed to discretely contact Obi-Wan and arrange this private meeting. The Jedi Master’s surprise at Aayla’s presence on Mandalore had lasted right up until they’d shown him the evidence gathered from Plagueis’ laboratory. At which point, Kenobi had become very, very troubled.

Glancing in his direction all of a sudden, Master Kenobi smiles slightly.

“Your surprise betrays you, Knight Vondin.”

Though perhaps I haven’t always been the best example, if he really thought I wasn’t going to take this seriously.

Tylo flushes at being called out, but takes it with good grace, tilting his head in acknowledgment.

“Apologies, Master.”

Obi-Wan just waves him off.

“No need for that. This is… this is big. But I understand your reasoning. As far as the Sith know, you all are either dead or currently on the run from their hunters. This information… I see why you couldn’t go back to Coruscant directly. I suppose you want me to go instead, yes?”

Tylo and Aayla exchange glances at that, with Aayla ultimately taking the lead. She is the Jedi Master here after all, which is why they’ve had her doing most of the talking so far with Master Kenobi.

“Yes, that was our hope. If we were to arrive back on Coruscant, I don’t think we could escape notice. But if you were to arrive back on Coruscant, you should fly under the radar just long enough to confer with the Council and arrange Sidious’ arrest.”

Obi-Wan nods, troubled but also deeply focused. His mind is currently lasered in on this entire revelation. Of course, there are other thoughts, thoughts about how he failed Annie by allowing Palpatine access to her all this time, but Obi-Wan is nothing if not the consummate Jedi. He sets aside his feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing and focuses on the bigger picture.

“… I will arrange a transport to take me back to Coruscant in disguise. Just a small troop movement, and hopefully it will be done before they realize I ever left Mandalore. I’ll have to leave Ahsoka behind though. Her presence will keep them from wondering where I’ve gone for a little longer. Can I trust you to look after her for me, Master Secura?”

Aayla smiles softly, nodding without hesitation.

“Of course, Master Kenobi.”

Then, Obi-Wan turns to Tylo. For a second, he wonders if the Jedi Master is about to give him the shovel talk regarding his latest Padawan. But instead…

“And you, Knight Vondin. You summoned me here because the Duchess wasn’t taking the threat of Death Watch seriously. I still greatly appreciate that. However, now that I’m going… I’ll need to rely on you to finish the work I’ve done here so far. Can I count on you?”

Getting Satine to listen to me has been a trial and a half. I hate that I’m going to have to leave her, but this… this is the entire galaxy at stake. It’s bigger than the two of us.

Tylo nods his head solemnly.

“Yes, Master Kenobi. You can.”

And with that, the man is gone. Oh, not instantly or anything like that, but it’s really only another hour of Obi-Wan talking to a handful of people who can both be trusted and also NEED to know about his departure and then he’s donning Clone Armor and slipping into a small transport of clones that head back to Coruscant to pick up supplies and fuel for his fleet.

With any luck, Palpatine will be completely caught off guard. Tylo certainly doesn’t need to be there when they confront Darth Sidious. That fight is more than a little bit out of his league truth be told. But Death Watch… Death Watch he can handle.

First though, he and Aayla make their way to Ahsoka Tano’s quarters in the Duchess’ Palace to introduce themselves to the Togruta Padawan and assure her that she hasn’t been abandoned. Obi-Wan couldn’t tell her everything obviously, but she did know he was going if not why. It was up to them to make that up to her, or so Tylo figured.

Only, the moment they arrive, the door slides open and a pair of orange hands reaches out, grabbing them both and yanking them inside.

“Thank the Force! I thought I’d never get this chance! PLEASE fuck me already!”

… What?

-x-X-x-

[ ] Hold on, Obi-Wan just entrusted them with his Padawan... reject Ahsoka's request unilaterally - 4%