Chapter 16: Omake 1 Signora Daughteru probably canon due to my degenerate patrons.
"Daddy, I want her to play dead like Uncle Gorou and big brother Razor does!" Jake's adoptive daughter cried out as she pointed at the startled figure of Raiden Shogun who just raised an eyebrow at the precocious child as I facepalmed.
I hadn't seen Raiden for a few months after the events of Inazuma's mostly canon events and after dealing with all the other nonsense like fixing the Ley lines and the mess that was Enkanomiya, I was ready for a vacation and went back to Liyue and got sucked into the events of the Chasm.
"I am so sorry Ei, she is... Just terrible at social stuff." I said helplessly as I pulled my adopted daughter into my arms and kept her face against me as I realized how perilous this situation was.
When I was making a trip from Liyue to Mondstadt to find Venti to just drink away the stress that was dealing with the Chasm I found a small child desperately trying to start a fire in the Dragonspine mountains and on the cusp of freezing to death.
It didn't take me long to recognize her hair color and the Pyro vision that was tied up in her hair deducing who it was in front of me at the time.
A Loli Signora, the woman who dared to mouth off to Raiden Shogun, the electric archon was rendered to nothing but ashes. She had somehow reformed over the months as a child, losing basically all her memories and with my doting care she came to be heavily attached to me to say lightly.
She truly hated any women who came close to what she claimed to be her father figure saying how they would just abandon me or use me for the wealth I had accumulated in my adventures.
"Daddy, let's go back home to the super teapot, she is making my hair fizzy!" Signora groaned as she attempted to push down her hair that was getting spiky from how clearly irritated Ei was.
"Hmph, you helped Inazuma, myself, and even my friend so much, and then you just took off without allowing me to repay you and Lumine for all your assistance." Raiden hummed as her eyes glowed with a purple light but as she continued speaking, I was considering if I needed to use my emergency teleportation station, I had planted on another island from the static build-up up and Signora began radiating excessive amounts of heat.
"Was your goal to build up so much debt that I would be forced to marry you in order to keep my consciousness clear, Jake Schnee?" Ei asked almost teasingly but I could she was giving that thought actual weight as she visibly looked to be considering such a thing if I confirmed that lunacy.
But the main problem was the bundle of Electra complex that leaped out of my arms and stood in front of me with arms spread out wide as she once again stared down the Shogun. "No! Daddy can't marry you!" She cried out and flames being shot out of her arms and body to make a wall of flames to separate me and Ei with her and the flames acting as a wall.
"Hmm... So, if I am to marry Jake, I must get your permission, little miss?" Ei asked in amusement as she seemed to be holding a squeal at how cute Signora was being.
"My name is Signora, and I am going to be the greatest fire bender in the world in order to make sure no bad girls steal my daddy and hurt him!" She said fiercely as she took up a karate pose with her fire-coated palms pointed at Ei.
Ei froze hearing the girl's name but honestly didn't seem to really care as she studied the girl but before she could whatever hair-brained thought was running through her mind a set of arms wrapped around my shoulders and I felt a voluptuous chest be pushed into my back as a husky voice spoke out.
"My oh my. The Raiden Shogun's husband-to-be already has a child while he was straying off in a foreign land..." She then blew some hot air into my ear making me shiver as Yae Miko rested her chin on my shoulder.
Hearing another woman's voice my daughter whirled around and cried out as she pointed at Yae Miko. "Another woman! It's just like back in Liyue with Ganyu, Shenhe, and Ningguang!" She cursed stomping her feet on the ground in frustration while we all giggled at how exaggerating she was acting.
"Get off my Daddy! I can see your panties for here you slattern!" She cried stubbornly and the air was filled with static as Yae gently disengaged from me and slowly a set of nine tails unfurled from beneath her skirt as she approached my daughter before leaning down to whisper to the girl who circled around the now scary kitsune, keeping her back to me. "Little girl, do you want to know a secret about the ladies of Inazuma..."
Yae Miko straightened up and pointed at Ei who quirked an eyebrow before scowling and took out her lightning-coated polearm as Yae Miko spoke. "The ladies of Inazuma are in a competition to have the most intricate panties and we venerate the Raiden Shoguns as she stole them from Celestia and proudly shows the sides of them wherever she goes as they are undoubtedly the greatest in the land!"
A loud boom rang out as lightning split the sky and the Raiden Shogun advanced on Yae Miko blushing heavily as she growled at the Kitsune. "Miko, you have gone too far... I told you in confidence I wanted to talk to Jake about our future and now you have ruined it! Now you shall perish!" Ei cried and as she pulled out her glowing sword and space itself crumbled in her fury, I grabbed Signora in a tight hug and we were zapped away by our teleportation beacon.
As we landed on one of the neighboring islands, I looked across the clear Inazuma sky and we saw a series of massive lightning bolts strike down on Narukami island where I just was.
"See daddy... Them bitches be crazy..." Signora said shrugging with her arms out in a what can you do motion.