A Heart's Silent Echo

My name is Haruki Sato and I've always been the quiet one, the wallflower that no one noticed. A ghost that drifts through the school without getting a single glance from anyone. A background character. The days in my third year of high-school go by uneventfully in blissful isolation. And honestly, the fewer people that notice me, the better

Today is supposed to be like any other day.

But as I settle down into my seat at the back of the classroom, I notice her--- a girl standing near the doorway, her gaze fixed on the floor, her fingers twisting a strand of hair. I recognized the way her shoulders seemed to fold inward, the subtle shift of her weight from foot to foot. She was trying to disappear, to become invisible to the eyes on her. Something in me stirred-a memory of last year, my own hands clenching, my own voice nearly lost shen id transfered to this school. I hadn't expected to find anyone else who felt like this.

Our homeroom teacher, Tanaka-sensei introduced her.

"Everyone, this is Aki Fujiwara and she'll be joining us starting from today"

Aki took a step forward and turned towards us, her gaze still on the floor. "N-nice to meet you..." Her voice was a faint whisper and it could barely be heard.

Her hands were trembling. I knew because mine had looked the same when I introduced myself to this class last year.

She ended up sitting a few rows in front of me, near the window, as far from everyone as she could get. I found my gaze being drawn to her. She was staring out the window. I looked back down at my desk, my heart beating in a way that I couldn't explain. There was something... familiar about her. She reminded me of someone.

Oh... that's right. She reminded me of myself. She looked like she wanted to run away just as bad as I did.

Aki didn't talk to anyone over the next few days. She'd show up early to class, like me, and she'd just sit in her spot, staring out the window. She looked... lost. That's a feeling I know very well.

I went to the library after school on a Monday as usual and was searching the shelves for the book I was looking for. The library was my refuge. A place where I can just forget about everything and immerse myself in books. It was my safe haven. The library is almost always devoid of people, so I could always stay away from any kind of human interaction here. Or at least that's what I thought.

As I was reaching out for volume 7 of "Sword of Night and Flame", my favourite light novel series, my hands brushed along someone else's, just for a second, but I pulled my hand back like I'd touched fire.

"Sorry!" We both said at the same time.

I fixed my gaze on the owner of the hand I just touched. It was Aki Fujiwara. I felt my face getting red hot and I instinctively looked downwards. A few seconds of pure silence ensued. This is probably the most awkward moment of my life, I thought. Finally, Aki broke the silence.

"Y-you can have that book..." Her voice was so quiet it barely qualified as breaking the silence. I shifted my gaze from the floor to her face. As mine met her dark blue eyes, I could visibly see her face getting red. She looked obviously flustered.

I noticed her anxious look and broke off eye contact, for both of our sakes.

"Um... th-thank you..." I muttered, looking to the side, in a voice as quiet as hers. I was nervous and embarrassed. I'm not used to talking to people, but it looked like she wasn't either which sort of put me at ease. I took the book from the shelf and just as Aki turned and started to walk away, my hand moved on its own and grabbed hers. It was so small and soft. Realizing what I'd done, I quickly let go.

"Um... sorry, it's just that... I've actually already read this book so..." I gulped before saying the rest. "S-so I think you should have it."

I don't know why I'm insisting on letting her have the book. If it were someone else I probably would have taken up on their offer and just taken it for myself. Maybe it's because we're similar and she reminds me of myself.

I held the book out, feeling my fingers tremble slightly. My eyes had been glued to the floor, but something pulled me to glance up. Aki's cheeks were tinged with pink as her hand reached for the book, and for a second, our fingers brushed again-her hand was warm, smaller than mine. She gave a quick, shy smile, her gaze flickering to the side, as if afraid to meet my eyes. I realized I was holding my breath. When she finally took the book, her fingers lingered for just a moment before slipping away, leaving a soft warmth behind.

"Thank you... very much! It's Sato-san right?" I nodded upon hearing my last name. My face felt hot. Aki bowed deeply towards me before walking away with the book and taking a seat at a nearby table.

I picked out a different fantasy book from a shelf and settled down at a different table from Aki's before looking towards her. She seemed like she was drawing something on what looked like a sketchbook. Holding a pencil, her hand moved swiftly across the page of the sketchbook, striking the paper and drawing shapes that I couldn't quite tell from this distance. At one side was the book I gave her and she occasionally paused drawing to read a bit from the book. Was she drawing illustrations for the book? Then I noticed something...

Her eyes. The usual sorrow in them was completely gone and were replaced by a bright sparkle. They were glimmering as she was scraping her pencil against the paper. She was giving off an aura of immense concentration. She didn't look like she was lost anymore.

She paused and rested her head on her hand. She looked up, apparently lost in thought. Then, suddenly, her eyes met mine. I was caught staring at her. My chest tightened, and I could feel heat creeping up my neck.

Aki's eyes widened in surprise when she saw me and she swiftly closed her sketchbook shut and turned her face the opposite direction. This is so embarrassing. Ugh, I just wanna die right now... I thought.

I looked down at my book and finally started reading. After each page turn, my curiosity gets the better of me and I steal glances at Aki. It seems she went back to sketching again. And everytime I looked at her, my heart skipped a beat. She looked so lonely and isolated. At the same time, everything about the whole scene was so... so beautiful.

The next day, I'm sitting at my seat in the back as usual.

"Alright! I'll be giving you an assignment to do on today's lesson. You'll get about a week to finish it, so I want you all to form pairs." Tanaka-sensei announced.

A wave of panic spread through me. I looked around the classroom, and everyone was forming pairs with their friends. Not knowing what to do, I stay glued to my seat, my heart beating so loud I could hear it. After a few minutes everyone had formed pairs and it was just me left. Why does this happen every single time. Just want to dissappear...

Tanaka-sensei signed. "Alright then, I guess Haruki and Aki can work together on this assignment."

Wait a minute, Aki Fujiwara? I looked over at her sitting a few rows ahead, and sure enough, there she was, all alone without a partner, just like me. She looked at me. I saw the same look of panic flash in her eyes that I felt in my chest.

"I-I think we could... work on this after school..." I managed to stammer, feeling my face heat up. "Is the library okay...?"

Aki nodded, her voice was so soft I almost missed it. "That... sounds good"

After school that day I walked to the library, took a deep breath and opened the door. Aki was sitting at a table absorbed in a book. When she noticed me approaching, she closed it and bowed slightly. I bowed back. I took a seat across from her. A few minutes of silence passed. Aki had her head down, her eyes fixed on some spot on the table. I couldn't look directly at her without my stomach flipping so I focused on my notebook. God, this is so awkward.

I looked up from my notebook at her and I noticed her curling a strand of hair with her finger. When she caught my gaze, it gave a her a slight jump.

I finally opened my mouth to speak. "So... Fujiwara-san, I think we should start."

"Ah! R-right!" She stammered, fumbling with her pencil.

We spent about an hour and a half on the assignment silently. We barely spoke to each other, but we managed to get a lot done.

"Um... should we continue this tomorrow, here?" I asked Aki as we got ready to move out.

"Yes." She replied. Before quickly walking out the door.

I stood there thinking back at the time we just spent together. Aki was so quiet it made me question if she was even there. She really is a mirror of myself.

The next day, we met up at the library again and started working on the project. As I was writing on my book, I notice Aki's hand sliding a piece of paper over to me and entering my field of view. I looked up at Aki. She looked embarrassed and diverted her gaze. I took the piece of paper from her hand and opened it.

In neatly written characters, it said: Do you like books, Sato-san?

My eyes widened and I looked at Aki again. Her face blushes bright red and she uses both her hands to cover it. I quickly scribble on the note: Yeah I like reading.

I tapped her on the arm and she removed her hands from her face and stared at note in my hand for a few seconds before taking it from me with a slight look of surprise on her face.

As soon as she read it, she took a pen in hand and began scribbling something on it before passing it to me again. I took it in my hand and read it.

Me too. I love reading! What kind of books do you like Sato-san?

I like fantasy. Especially "Sword of Night and Flame". It's written really well.

I recently started reading SNF too. I think the scenes in it are really beautiful.

Do you draw illustrations for books? I think I saw you sketching something the other day.

Ah! So you saw me... that's... embarrassing. Yeah, drawing is kind of my hobby.

We spent the next half hour exchanging notes and chatting. Her next note said:

Why do you sit at the back, Sato-san?

I read her question twice, my hand slightly trembling as I wrote back: It feels... safer. Less people notice me back there.

Aki's eyes softened as she nodded at my response, then she scribbled her own reply: I sit by the window because I feel hidden.

When she looked up at me, I saw something I hadn't expected---a tiny, shy smile. It was barely there, but it was real. And for some reason, if made my heart race. I felt... seen. I felt... understood.

A week passed since we've been given the assignment, with me and Aki meeting up every day at the library after school to work on our project. We've gotten more comfortable with each other. We can even talk to each other normally now without using the notes.

I head over to the library as usual and meet Aki at the usual spot.

"Good afternoon, Fujiwara-san" I greet her as I sit down.

"Good afternoon to you as well Sato-kun." She replied with the usual shy smile.

We work on the assignment for the rest of the day until 5 pm.

"It looks like we can't finish it today... it's due Monday and today's Friday. We can't meet up at school during the weekend. Ugh, what do we do...?" I say, as I scratch my head.

"What if... what if we met up at one of our houses?" Aki replied.

I thought about it for a second. That would indeed solve our problem. We'd definitely be able to finish it over the weekend.

"I wouldn't mind going to your house, Sato-kun..." She said blushing slightly.

"But, a girl at a boy's place... wouldn't that be a bit... besides, I live alone in an apartment."

"So we'd be... alone? I-I don't mind. It's you after all. I trust you Sato-kun." She fiddled with her fingers as she said this.

She... trusts me? I felt a sharp sensation in my heart. My face turned red upon hearing her words and I felt... happy. I shakily opened my mouth to speak.

"H-hey, Fujiwara-san, are we...." I took a deep breath, mustering up courage before saying the rest. "Are we friends?"

Aki's eyes widened for a brief moment. The corners of her mouth then curved up to form a gentle smile. Her eyes were slightly moist. "I-I want us to be friends..."

"Same here..." I say with a relieved smile.

"I guess you're my first friend Sato-kun." Aki said with a warm smile as bright as the sun. At that moment, my heart felt like it was about to burst. She was just so beautiful.

Aki and I agreed to walk home together. She wanted me to show her where I lived. As we walked under the bright orange sky of the evening, we also exchanged contact info. It's the first time I've ever given my contact info to someone.

"H-hey, Sato-kun?" Aki called out to me while we were on our way to the apartment complex.

"What is it?" I ask before I look down at her. She has her eyes forward and she adjusted her glasses every now and then. She looked up to face me and stopped.

"Since we're friends... do you think it's okay if we call each other by our first names?" I could see her face turning red.

"It's... it's okay..." I managed to stammer. How could I refuse? I want to be closer to her. And we're friends. Friends call each other by their first names right?

Aki inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. "Then... H-haruki-kun!" She said softly.

I was startled when she said my first name. And now it's my turn.

I closed my eyes. "Aki-san..." my entire face was burning and my body was tense. I opened my eyes to see Aki blushing bright red and fidgeting with her hair.

"L-lets go Haruki-kun..." She said before starting to walk again.

I showed Aki where my apartment was and said goodbye.

I entered my apartment and after preparing and eating dinner, I sat at my desk in my room and wrote a few pages of the novel I've been working on. Writing is sort of my hobby and I wrote till 10 pm until I hear a notification from my phone. I rarely get notifications.

I turn on my phone to see that Aki has sent a message: Hi. When should I come over tomorrow?

A smile spread across my face and I start typing: The afternoon should be fine.

She sent a thumbs up emoji and a good-night sticker. I did the same before going offline and hopped into bed.

As I lay in bed, the moments we'd shared replayed in my mind-her shy smile, the way her eyes sparkled when she sketched, her voice, soft and hesitant but comforting. I couldn't stop thinking about her, as if she'd filled a part of me I hadn't known was empty. I smiled, feeling a warmth I didn't quite understand. Could it be...? No, it was too soon. But still, she was special to me in a way no one else had been. Maybe, just maybe, this was what people meant when they talked about love.