chapter 38
EP 7 – Northern Wind (8)
– Former Deputy Defense Minister Cha Jae-gyun, who planned to overthrow the country through illegal biological experiments, was found dead in his office around 8 pm today.
Cha Jae-gyun died.
– Please click Subscribe and Like before watching the video. Oh yes, everyone! Did you hear that? biological test? Wow, sir, aren’t you such a crazy bastard? He also has a conscience, so he puts a pistol on his head…
Many cheered.
– The National Assembly strongly condemns the bio-experiment and the organization of private organizations planned by Cha Jae-gyun, and prevents this by expanding the authority of the special committee…
– In this age where all the people are enduring pain, in the civil war that cannot control their lust for power, only the people’s decisive judgment awaits…
The rulers waved their hands and enjoyed the victory.
– Senator Han Seung-moon! Just say one word! There were rumors that the subjects of the biological test were vicious criminals, is that true? Then the subjects who have not yet been arrested are now…
– The special prosecutor decided not to conduct further investigations except for former martial law commander Lim Yong-taek and former NIS director Kim Do-hwan.
This is just breaking news. Kim Do-hwan, former director of the National Intelligence Service, was found dead in his home. The cause of death is presumed to be suicide…
– Rep. Han Seung-moon, who commanded the escape from Apgujeong and endured the external pressures related to the biological experiment, was awarded the Order of Unification of the Order of Patriotism. After the press conference, acting authority Won Ok-bun invited Rep. Han Seung-moon to his home and had a conversation…
* * *
“It’s like seeing me when I was younger.”
Won-ok-bun, who used to cook lotus root, spoke to me in a slurred tone. With a contorted face, she slurped her words.
“Is not it. Must have a gangster Politicians need that as well.”
“……thank you.”
“Yang Pan-seok raised a disciple very well. very. It’s nice to see them throwing Molotov cocktails at government officials. I’ve seen Ham once when I was in public security. in the interrogation room.”
Yang Pan-seok threw a Molotov cocktail during Roh Tae-woo and was appointed as a judge during Kim Young-sam’s time, and Won Ok-bun was already a prosecutor in Roh Tae-woo’s time to control gangsters.
Whether in the legal or political circles, Yang Pan-seok was a junior for about four years. And four years on this floor is equivalent to the time when the rivers and mountains change.
Usually two or more of the presidential, general, and branch elections take place. So Won Ok-bun called Yang Pan-seok without any formality.
“Isn’t Yang Pan-seok saying anything?”
“…I didn’t really hear anything.”
“Rep. Han Seung-moon doesn’t seem to know very well. Yang clinics are very fond of oriental clinics.”
Yang clinics, oriental clinics, the wording is a bit strange.
Won Ok-bun showed a contorted face and a sarcastic smile on his face.
“Of course me too. Parliamentarians are so precious these days.”
“……”
“Let’s see, if it’s 27 now, 31, 35, 39. Hey. He’s a four-term lawmaker in his late 30’s. In a way, I am also looking forward to the future. It’s also popular.”
“……It’s too much.”
This is because my character is coveted to be raised as the next one. I was a very good person to use as a retirement pension for politicians.
“When the lawmakers got together in the basement, Rep. Yang Pan-seok said that we should grow our oriental clinic. Without realizing it, we shed some kind words to the media and the prosecution.”
I didn’t know how powerful the whispers of parliamentarians are in this country. So I nodded my head, albeit with a tired mind.
“thank you.”
“But when it suddenly hits us, we are a little surprised. It’s because I’m old.”
Won-ok-bun simmered the lotus root stew he had taken out of his refrigerator again. She continued talking to me as she ate with nothing to lose face.
The words she slurped while chewing lotus root were more powerful than the words she spoke politely at the press conference in a suit.
“I’m brisk. live.”
It means don’t touch me.
“This is an era where there is no need for a big fight in the political arena. let’s go safely safety…”
There was no Strongman seen on TV.
“A hound can slowly starve to death. It’s not entirely a bad choice to suddenly lift a stick like this…”
Yang Pan-seok with a Molotov cocktail to drive out the military regime during Chun Doo-hwan, or Won Ok-bun, who decorated splendid modern history by catching gangsters during Roh Tae-woo.
“For old people like us, lifting clubs is a bit heavy. This is it.”
I became a person who was afraid of burden and responsibility.
“You know what I mean?”
*
Three days passed in an instant after Cha Jae-gyun committed suicide. It seems that I surrendered myself to the years with a blank mind.
And now, the joint funeral of the victims is over.
As soon as the funeral was over, the guests sitting in the front row rushed back and forth to appeal to the public by wiping their tears with their handkerchiefs in front of the reporters.
I sat blankly and looked at the countless portraits of portraits. Only civilians excluding criminals were collected, but there were a lot of frames.
The bereaved families were crying in black mourning clothes. Transparent tears running down his red face looked like tears of blood.
I did not want to meet the reporters, so I quietly exited through the emergency exit.
and.
“sorry. I, I…!”
“……”
“I really, I don’t think it will be like this…!”
I heard a woman’s sobs at the bottom of the dark emergency stairs.
“…Chaewon, a student?”
The little girl who had been squatting with her ears covered, sniffled her nose and raised her head.
The girl looked up sadly at me with red, bloodshot eyes.
*
“……Why did you do that?”
On the way back to the dorm with Pi Chae-won in the passenger seat.
At the time when I thought that the evening lights that were swept through the buildings were particularly red.
Pi Chae-won, who had been silent while clutching the skirt with a small fist, asked a question out of context.
No interpretation was necessary.
I stepped on the accelerator to the blue traffic light, and after a long silence, I managed to answer.
“I do not know.”
why did i do that shit
Because I’m not a democrat,
It was not said that a country maintained by the sacrifice of its people has no value.
Because I am not a humanist,
I did not say that the means and values that take the damage of life for granted cannot be respected.
Because I am not an altruist.
A majority maintained at the expense of a few is not worthy of it.
He was not a selfish person to say that it was for political gain, and he was not a democrat to say that it was for the will of the people.
I was an ambiguous person.
Everyone is like that.
When someone introduces themselves, most of them are gibberish.
So people always have business cards, and in my case, I introduce myself as a member of the National Assembly.
However, few people will be able to respond directly to the question of telling yourself, not your position.
This means that people cannot easily define themselves as one.
Aren’t we all living complex creatures?
That’s why I couldn’t afford to stumble upon a nice answer that was clear, philosophical, and consistent with my beliefs.
“…just, a little, I don’t think so. It was.”
“……”
Pi Chae-won responded with a subtle silence. I mumbled the thoughts that suddenly came to my mind and continued making vague excuses.
“When I was young, I was very sensitive to bad things.”
Pi Chae-won, who was slowly wiping away tears with her bright red eyes, looked at me with an ironic expression.
“There is such a thing as a line. that. What. I was a bit of a sensitive person there, that’s it.”
“……Sun, huh?”
“No, there’s a kid who just says that you can’t cut the food line, and then fights. that was me It’s a story from elementary school.”
I turned the steering wheel timidly and entered the coastal road overlooking the sea of Busan.
The vermilion sunset glistened in the overflowing sea.
“Is it because I was a naive person who listened to my parents so well? If there was a child who broke the rules, I disciplined them as if I had become an adult.
But after my mom held my hand and crossed my street, I changed my mind. That’s when I went to the mart and the mart was closed.
That was the way home. So, I wasn’t running out of time at all, but I was trespassing. It was a bit of a shock, so I remember it clearly.
Others remember that my mother told me to buy pork cutlet and gave her an injection. I especially remember the way you held my hand and crossed the street.
You were wearing a yellow dress. My mother was very kind. My mother was probably the only woman who could wear a yellow dress that went down to her knees.
I said that I was an actor when I was young, but even though I am short, I am handsome because I look like my mother.”
While he was stuttering, he suddenly remembered that he was saying something impossible to Pi Chae-won.
He and I are orphans, but he has not been long since lost.
It’s been a while since I’ve talked to someone about my parents, so I was so excited. i want to see mom
I swallowed the bitter tip of my nose and quickly returned to the point.
“What was I talking about…
okay. trespassing.
Ever since my mother held my hand and trespassed, I have been trespassing often.
Oh, there is no traffic light on the way to the academy, but there is a two-lane road. Did you do it almost every day, maybe? Anyway, I did a lot of trespassing.
Ordinary transgression for convenience? That is tacitly acceptable. I knew that.”
“……”
“But, hey, on the day I went to see my grandmother for Chinese New Year, my father swung the steering wheel and crossed the center line to avoid the kid who jumped out for jaywalking. And it collided with an oncoming truck.”
“……”
“After the accident, time goes by so slowly. broken windows. The bumper is crushed. Mom and Dad are crushed as the truck pushes the devil. Did I see the broken chair slide back and get my legs pinched? In slow motion.”
“……”
“That’s what I was thinking then.”
I answered the first question of Pi Chae-won.
“The law is not for nothing.”
*
There was silence in the car for about 15 minutes.
For a moment, I was overwhelmed with emotion, and I exclaimed a little.
It’s an immature idea, but I decided to call him a teacher when I think about how hard I went through because of him.
In the first place, he asked for help, so I went all the way to Gangbuk. It is like the source of all evil.
Anyway, it seems that Pi Chae-won is not a future poem.
There seems to be something more
“…well, I thought it would work out.”
Chaewon Pi spoke to me in a trembling voice, pinching her thigh.
I continued driving without a word.
“Uncle Cheol-i was a really pure journalist, and Vice Minister Cha Jae-gyun was always crying…”
what did i hear now
“He and Uncle, even if it’s a little scary, at that time on that rooftop, he told me, ‘I want you to live’ with the purest heart.”
I didn’t pay attention to Pi Chae-Won because of my obsessive driving habit.
However, all my nerves were focused on every single word the girl barely uttered.
Pi Chae-won started wiping away the tears with the sleeves of his slightly drooping clothes.
“Yoona unnie, who cried profusely because she wanted to live in the mountains. Even the head of the National Intelligence Service who glanced at it from afar. The researchers who were there, and the agents too. Everyone is. Because there were no people who thought they wanted to do something like a biological experiment…!”
The girl confessed sadly.
“Hey, I have good ears.”
Chaewon Pi said to me.
“Listen to people’s hearts.”
In an instant, his hair turned white, and the hand that held the handle was so strong that a vein stood out.
“Everyone doesn’t want it, so why the hell……”
“……”
“Yeah, just, everyone was thinking the same thing. So, once we gather and talk about it, I thought it would come naturally…”
“……”
“How can people who have been crying out about not wanting to pull the trigger without hesitation…?”
“……”
“I, I am…!”
……I do not know.
*
Virtue does not arise even if one follows the Way.
Even if the law is obeyed, justice does not occur.
Even if you know the heart, good will not arise.
So, what should you follow?
I was in the office where Cha Jae-gyun committed suicide. The police didn’t even stop it. I was already close to the center of power.
Cha Jae-gyun did not use a designated office. An ordinary watch room was selected and converted into an office. So I always felt that the room was cramped.
Why?
Whenever I think of Cha Jae-gyun, a question arises. Why?
I thought of the person who was no longer there.
I sat in the chair where Cha Jae-gyun committed suicide. I could feel the faint scent of blood that that person left behind.
And finally, I found out why he had converted this ordinary watch room into an office.
As we sat down, we naturally faced the window.
A little over the large window. In the sky of the collapsed, crushed, and ruined city, a faintly shining blue light caught my eye.
He was always looking at the door.
Even now, monsters fall from the door.
That’s what it looks like.
it only looks
Only then did I become Cha Jae-gyun. All of a sudden, I saw things inside the slightly opened drawer.
it’s a cigarette
Cha Jae-gyun quit smoking decades ago. Because I no longer had a family to die from smoking.
I looked for the lighter with trembling hands.
And for the first time in his life, he put a cigarette in his mouth. It was easy because I had used the fire often.
He put a cigarette in his mouth and leaned back on the chair like Cha Jae-gyun.
take a deep breath
“Collock! Whoa…! yep! Huh, huh…!”
I shed tears at the stinging smoke. I coughed like I was going to vomit and rubbed my eyes. In the meantime, I looked at the gate I saw through the window.
If I were Cha Jae-kyun.
If I were Cha Jae-gyun, what choice would I have made?
You need a hunter to get rid of the monster. In vivo experiments have already been successful.
and. There is a politician who is trying to drive out monsters with Hunter as the center.
When he sent the politician to a press conference, he became a national hero and blamed himself for all his sins.
In this situation. What should I do, Cha Jae-gyun?
You can put down the sorrow and heavy burdens that have been attached to you.
it’s all done
now,
“Colok…!”
I coughed badly and wept. He furrowed his red, swollen eyes.
“Hey…! Cologne! Awesome…!”
Maybe Cha Jae-gyun sent me out to the press conference on purpose. It could be that he died after overwriting all the burdens by creating a hero to succeed him.
Perhaps Cha Jae-gyun was a cold-blooded person who did not love his family. He was just blinded by power. He may have committed suicide because he tried to deceive me, and then ran into a crisis.
Maybe Cha Jae-gyun. perhaps.
I thought about Cha Jae-gyun for a long time.
But the dead did not speak, so they could not know anything.
So I coughed and cried endlessly at the cigarette smoke I had never drank before.
just. It was complicated.
I don’t know what
I don’t know if what I did was right or wrong. But I had to.
Who is it for? Who the f**k is this shit for? what should i do
and.
A door was visible through the window.
A monster falls from the door,
I finally understood Cha Jae-gyun.
I cried for so long.
*
Even if one follows the Way, virtue does not arise.
Even if the law is obeyed, justice does not occur.
Even if you know the heart, good will not arise.
So, what should you follow?
What should we follow in a world without lines?
Sadly, I was a law maker. I had to make a law that I must obey in this damned world.
I have to draw a line.
That’s what legislators are supposed to do.
*
Time seems to slow down after an accident.
So is the era. Everyone shed the same tears, passed a day like a year, and endured terrible pain.
A chill like frost pierces my bones. Someone’s death leaves a dark shadow on the mind. An irreproachable sadness makes us miserable.
The sad times nevertheless passed,
Finally truly,
It is the season when the cold north wind blows.