A Gamer's Guide To Beating The Tutorial

I come to, already standing in the lobby. H—how long have I been here?

<00:03:32

Day 550>

20:23:56:28>

23:56:28>

…Not very long, apparently. Ignoring all of that—

Don’t-Worry-About-It! Lv.MAX>

Is that…?

<[Don’t-Worry-About-It! Lv.MAX]

Has the same defensive and Soul-forming

effects as Magic Power(96).

Currently loading…

3% Complete.>

The name’s a bit on the nose, but other than that… This is pretty much what I asked for, I think? I mean, really, I was more-or-less expecting the whole thing to go a bit smoother, but this is still good, even if it wasn’t at the snap of His fingers.

But with all that done, there’s only one thing left to check out.

Human Level 88

Agility: 251 (+1(32))

Strength: 168 (+1(32))

Stamina: 284 (+1(32))

Magic Power: N/A

Currently loading…

3% Complete.>

So, by the end, I’ll have an extra thirty-two points in each stat? Nice.

In that case, there’s nothing left for me to do other than the standard. Floor needs a new coat of paint, I need to experiment with selective organ loss, and through it all, I have to not think about all of the weird things happening around me. Yes, this is how it should be. Simple and normal. It’s almost calming, at this point, to have something I’m used to.

…Is anyone listening? How’s the deliberation going? A—about my debt, that is. I don’t mind whichever way it turns out, I’m just, you know… curious as to what your answer is. That’s all.

Divine Deliberation regarding

Hell Challenger Lo Fennrick’s debt

remains in progress. Please hold.>

…Ah, right, yeah. I see. Yup, I get it. Totally normal, I don’t mind at all, sounds perfectly good. I’m in no hurry to hear about what the status of my fifty-million-point debt is.

I glance slyly between the cut-off arm I’m munching on to test the new skill and the static status message.

But even after hours have passed, it still doesn’t change. No updates; just a big hole where there could be an answer. That’s fine though, because there are a lot of things to be distracted by. For one, the feeding-healing skill I got! It’s good. Like, really good. If I bite off my finger, then I’ll heal that finger in a snap. It isn’t instantaneous, but it’s fast enough to make the eating-part worthwhile. More importantly, it can combine with my other healing skills seamlessly, allowing me to heal things fully without necessarily eating enough to actually heal it all in one go.

However, it’s good to note that caloric mass is important. If I bite off my finger and bleed everywhere, and I then eat my finger, that won’t regenerate the lost blood. I’ll still be alright thanks to my bleeding protection, but if the thing I’m eating isn’t caloric enough for whatever reason, I’ll need to eat more. Simple math.

My only grief right now aside from the obvious is that I want to test out the innocent adoration skill, but I can’t. The reason for this is simple: there are no children here. Oh, unless I count myself.

…Well, technically speaking, I’m not exactly a kid anymore. Yes, as of five days ago, I successfully became a nineteen-year-old almost-adult! I only noticed because Moleman sent me a happy birthday message, otherwise I would’ve been completely in the dark. It’s a bit unfortunate that we couldn’t celebrate properly, but it’s fine.

He promised we’d share a cake next time we met, and that is enough for me.

Without much trouble aside from my obvious worry in regard to the debt situation, the hours passed easily. With each hour, the stats progressed more, and after a short twenty hours, they had been converted fully, leaving me a new man, ready to take on the next floor with even greater strength than previously.

Soon enough, the time came.

Do you want to enter?>

Without a shred of hesitation, I press ‘yes.’

Only to find myself instantly dumped into liquid fire. Something burning and boiling and awkwardly sticky covers my entire body within the single fraction of a second it takes me to spawn in, allowing me to experience what it must be like to get broiled on high heat, or perhaps cooked in a way-too-hot pot of soup. I try to paddle but the stuff I’m in isn’t a pure liquid, nor is it thick like the mud was—no, this is far worse. It’s viscous.

I thrash my arms and squeeze my eyes and mouth shut but it worms its way into my nose and my ears, burning off my eyelids and lips to slip in that way, too, brushing against my teeth with such heat that it feels cold instead of hot.

Heat Protection Lv.9>

Burn Protection Lv.10>

Burn Immunity Lv.1>

This is… pretty bad, I think.

I can’t even tell if I’m moving. It’s like I’m trying to swim in slime, but every stroke I take just skims over the surface, leaving me in the exact same place as before.

…But there’s no way I’ll drown in this burning sludge before I get the answer on the deliberation, right? Wouldn’t that be too cruel? Not even the gods would be that evil. I think so, at least.

Just as I’m about to lose hope, I feel my right hand break through something, the cool air pricking my exposed, skinless muscle like little needles. Revitalized, I swim harder, my other hand soon breaking through and my head and chest following suit moments later.

Pah—!

I try to take a deep breath, but with my face still covered in sludge, all I breathe in is a thick layer of mucus that had formed across my lipless mouth. I cough and gack but it hardly helps. Maybe I should rip out my throat and hope it reforms in time? No, I’d probably die.

Instead, I stick my bony, skinless hand into my mouth and pull out the goop, only able to use three of my five fingers since two of the carpal tendons burned off. While gagging silently and kicking my legs, I toss the removed goop away, sticking two of my fingers in my mouth and biting them off to quickly regenerate one of my eyes. And what I see is…

Hell Difficulty Twentieth Floor:

The Boiling Pitch.>

<[Clear Condition]

Reach a safe place.>

Around me, covering every direction no matter which way I look, is a sea of black—of bubbling, boiling tar. I think it’s tar, at least. I can’t be certain, but the floor description makes me more certain. ‘Pitch black’ is an expression for a reason, and here it is. The pitch.

Bubbling and boiling and churning and endless.

And as for the clear condition…

…Safe place? So, like… heaven?

I have a sneaking suspicion that I might die on this floor. I mean, I’ve already lost my left foot, and my fingers are looking a fair bit crispy. If things continue at this speed, I’ll be dead within the hour. Hm. I had a good run though, right? Hopefully my debt won’t be dumped on Moleman or my family back on Earth. That’d be mean. Mean enough for me to return from the grave to haunt the gods for sure.

Still, I might as well try. So, hoping that my remaining digits will be enough, I begin doggy-paddling.

And after less than a minute’s effort, my prayers are answered.

Something stirs in the tar. I don’t like doing it, but since it might be critical, I bite off a finger to recover the hearing in one of my ears. The moment I do, the sound of screaming and hissing and shouting hits me, coming from behind me. What the heck is—

Before I have to painfully turn myself around, something crashes into me. Or, rather, it bites a hold of my leg, mercifully dragging me high into the air and away from the burning tar. Less mercifully, this bite is powerful enough to shear through what little flesh still remains on my leg, sharp teeth scraping against bone, making my femur creak dangerously. As I’m hoisted up, I’m given a pretty good view of exactly what just made me its dinner. Namely, a sea serpent of some sort. It’s covered in tar and completely eyeless, large as two semi-trucks with a head to match. But as its upper body enters the air, a number of thick, armor-like scales covering its neck pop out threateningly, like the hairs of a cat standing up, scattering the tar it was previously covered in, steam billowing from the now-exposed flesh.

But for as interesting as this massive sea serpent is, my one eye instead falls on the large metal harpoon jimmied into its side, connected by a metal chain to a metal ship. Actually, I don’t know if the boat is made of metal through and through. Might just be that the hull is covered in metal sheets. Either way, I have no idea what a boat could be doing out here, or what it might be doing hunting a sea serpent.

As I watch the boat, I wonder idly if the skull-on-black flag has the same meaning here as it does on Earth.

I don’t have time to wonder for long though as the sea serpent buckles, pulling away from the boat, dragging it along as it tries to escape. With my newly-made ears, I can hear well how the harpoon’s chain whimpers and groans, the ship likewise trembling under the sea serpent’s strength. It’s only a matter of time before…

Ah, there it went. The chain broke off. But just as it did, another harpoon went flying, aimed right at… me?

The harpoon shoots at incredible speeds, skimming off the sea serpent’s head like a stone skipping over the surface of a lake, gouging a pretty good chunk of flesh off without succeeding in killing or harming it properly. The sea serpent cries in pain, releasing me from its toothy grip. Not without biting off my leg, of course. Still, a removed leg can easily be recovered by consuming a bit of conveniently placed sea serpent flesh. With my claws mostly burned off, I latch onto the sea serpent's jaw like a leech, biting as hard as I can even as it thrashes even more.

Dagger Tooth Lv.10>

Dragon Fang Lv.1>

Hm? Hey, that’s nice—

My jaws clamp off the bit of hard flesh I’m attached to in a single bite. I instantly plummet to the tar. My descent is thankfully stopped by a massive clawed flipper smashing into me, making my head reel and fill with static and nothingness, and the last thing I notice is the iron hull of the ship approaching me at breakneck speeds before I smash into it.

Unconsciousness Protection Lv.8>

Coma Protection Lv.4>

Concussion Protection Lv.7>

And just like that, I’m gone.