A Gamer's Guide To Beating The Tutorial

That’s where you’re wrong, buster. I can’t fight for your divine hineys if I’m dead!

your inventory has been sold

for 3 119 points.>

105 075 points.>

Aaaaaand there it is. Right. Okay, yeah. I was starting to wonder if they’d forgotten about my crippling life debt. It doesn’t matter anymore, though. See, I have found a very simple solution to this whole mess.

Standing up, I stalk over to one of the nearby pillars. I grab it firmly, and then I do a somewhat professional impression of a woodpecker, minus the beak.

BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH.

I remove my skull from the pillar. My head heals. I look down. The pillar is RED. My body is RED. My torn skirt is RED.

I tear off what remains from that floor.

Lying down, I crawl up into a little ball, with my face inches from the bloodied pillar. All I see is RED and the pink from my inside. I can’t die in the lobby. I can’t die in here. I need to go to the floor to die. Then, I can be executed. Killed. Die. Like Simel wanted. He may not be my friend, but I’ll be his, if it’s the last thing I am. That’s it. I just need to fulfill his plan. That’s all.

Something hot and heavy wells up to my eyes and I feel my shoulders tremble.

I’m horrible. I’m the worst. I can’t do anything right. I’m just a horrible person through and through. And every time I try to fight that, all I do is prove their words right, over and over again. Everything that’s happened to me is my own fault. And I need to own up to it. Sure, Simel will never get to watch me killed, to know for sure that I’m really gone, but… That’s okay. Eventually, he’ll know. Eventually, he’ll understand that I really did do the right thing in the end.

Eventually…

Through the blurred world, I read the words. I press the pop-up with a certain numbness, almost hoping for it to be one of those hate messages so I can tell them the good news.

Congratulations on beating the

fifteenth floor! I knew you could do it.

Did you do the “right thing” in the end? And

how did it go with Simel? You don’t have to tell me,

I’m just curious. And how did the gods react?

I’m honestly so excited to hear about it!

I feel like I ought to mention that I’ve heard some

interesting rumors about a supposed

tutorial-wide tournament. Spanning all difficulties

and servers and floors, it would no doubt be the biggest

event to happen in the tutorial so far!

Personally speaking, I can’t wait to test my magic against

the other challengers. So far, I haven’t heard of anyone else

making it even close to how far you’ve gotten in the hell difficulty,

but that doesn’t mean we can’t hold up hope, right?

Anyhow, I look forward to hearing about how floor 15 went!>

I stare at the message. Rubbing my eyes, I read it over once more. It’s still the same. I feel something hot rise to my cheeks again and I sit up fully, still facing the pillar. I start typing up a message.

Moleman, am I ur friend?>

After a few seconds, a message dings in.

Why, did something happen? I’m not sure if this helps

but you are absolutely my friend. We’ve had some

ups and downs but I would never call you anything

but my friend, save for maybe a brother, haha.

And, just so you know, I certainly hope

that you see me as your friend too.

Otherwise, this could get awkward pretty quickly, haha.

Still, if something happened, you can tell me, okay?

I’d be an awful friend not to hear you out, wouldn’t I?>

The world blurs before my eyes and I let my face fall to the floor. My breaths are ragged and stagger up my throat only barely. I put my head in my hands and wait until my lungs are capable of breathing properly again. Through the gaps in my fingers, I stare up at the message and write a reply, mustering all the strength I have left to keep my finger from trembling too much to use.

Ok thx i apreciate it

cuz u mattr a lot 2 me thx bro

ur 2 importnt 2 lose>

to me, too! I’m not sure what you went through,

but if it’s too much to take over messages

we can talk about it once the tournament happens,

okay? Assuming it wasn’t a hoax and I haven’t been duped,

that is. But I’ll still be here if you want to talk.

Otherwise, good luck with the next floor!>

I wipe the tears from my face.

thx u2 bro>

I close the messages. And for the next twenty-four hours or so, I don’t do anything. I don’t train. I don’t paint. I don’t meditate. I don’t think. I do nothing.

Do you want to enter?>

I press the ‘yes’ button.

I enter the floor.

<...>

I beat the floor.

points for clearing the floor.

You have received an additional

1 000 points for being the first to clear

the floor.>

you will receive an additional reward.>

the additional reward has been

traded for 5 000 points.>

<4 Gods have shown a positive response to you.

You have obtained 4 000 points.>

<43 Gods have shown a negative response to you.

43 000 points have been deducted.>

the floor clear reward has been

traded for 1 000 points.>

I return to the lobby.