A Dark Fantasy Spy

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I opened my eyes.

The cold air filling the bedroom tickled my nose.

“…Sniff.”

I shouldn’t have opened the window. I thought it was too hot, and now I feel like I’ve caught a cold.

Groping for my pen beside the clock, I checked; it was six in the morning. The world had already been tinted a dim azure.

Slowly, I raised my body and leaned back against the leather chair. The cool touch of leather made me shudder and snapped my senses into alertness.

I shook my head to clear the lingering drowsiness and turned on the TV to see what was happening in the world.

Beep.

“Yesterday morning, there was an armed conflict in the northern border regions of the Kien Empire. This marks the fourth such incident this month. Concerns are rising that this might signal the beginning of a full-scale war. Meanwhile, the Kien Imperial Military Headquarters has stated that the likelihood of full-scale war is slim…”

“Excuse me! Are you kidding me right now? You don’t even know how infections happen! Just praying is enough, you say? I genuinely cannot understand how you’re taking money for your sham of healing while performing medical acts as a ‘healing priest’…!”

“Look at this situation! Is this how people are supposed to live? Pillage and arson are never-ending! What is the government doing without even fixing the typhoon damage?! A newborn has been living in a tent for five years…!”

“The Inquisition maintains that the recent bombing terror attack was the work of a Dark Magician. However, according to testimonies from another official, claims have been made that a Dark Magician is not behind the terror…”

“How could the child of a witch become the hero of the continent…? Who do you think you are?! Where do you think this is…?”

“…Hmph.”

Watching a priest charge at someone with a sword, I shut off the TV.

Seeing the news was quiet, it seemed there was nothing special happening today.

Episode 2 – Heroes of the Continent

Like every civil servant loves a meeting, the embassy’s morning also starts with one.

Our Information Agency is no different.

“Any peculiarities?”

“Intercept results show that the communication sending locations have expanded. Communication volume has increased by exactly 3.2 times.”

The kids from the Imperial Guard HQ are apparently busy.

“What happened with the tailing?”

“We’ve stepped on their tail and have extracted information about their range of movement, residence, and contacts. Most of them are agents from our own country.”

They’re steadily making progress on tracking the assailants.

“Have we received any information related to the bombing?”

“The Inquisition has been catching smugglers, but it seems they haven’t had any successes. Investigations into diplomats have shown that all countries except the Kien Empire are clean.”

“If we just know the route of the explosives being brought in, we can wind it all up together. Focus on that.”

Finding that bastard feels like it’s halfway there.

“Our schedule for today begins at eleven, so let’s take a short break and head out.”

“Sure.”

The rest of the trivial reports were substituted with documents as we sat around the room, munching on snacks.

On the TV, the priest from earlier was now in heated debate with a professor.

“…To fundamentally solve the epidemic, we need preventative measures, not treatments. We must keep our bodies clean and block contact with the infected to prevent the disease from spreading.”

“I fully agree. However, why are the medical acts of priests caring for patients at the front line considered illegal medical practice? I don’t quite understand…”

The discussion about epidemic response suddenly escalated into a contest over rice bowls.

“Wow! I’ve never seen a university professor fight with a bishop before.”

Jake, who was organizing documents, snickered while watching the debate.

That’s certainly a rare sight. Healing priests from the Cult and doctors educated at the university are like entirely different races.

“Isn’t it because the Hero just shook hands with the healing priests or something?”

“Who knows. It’s not like it’s a first for doctors and priests to quarrel.”

“I haven’t seen military doctors and field priests fight, though.”

“Why would they raise their voices in the field? They just do their own business.”

While we were chatting aimlessly, Pippin returned from putting paper into the shredder.

But her expression was far from normal. Furrowing her brows deeply, she stormed over and slammed a document on Jake’s head.

“Jake! Didn’t I tell you to organize properly? I told you to only pull out the discarded files, not to give me classified documents!”

Looks like Jake messed up again.

If classified documents get shredded by mistake, we have to deal with counterintelligence agents in an interrogation room one-on-two. By the way, Jake once made a mistake and had to endure over two weeks of trouble with counterintelligence agents.

“Are you insane?!”

“Just leave it. It’ll be fine if he’s careful next time.”

I mediated the squabble with casual gestures.

In any case, it’s fortunate that an accident didn’t happen. Pippin huffed, sitting down after giving a fierce warning, “One more time, and I’ll put you into the shredder!”

The usual bickering between the two was unchanged.

“Camila Lowell should be getting up by now, right?”

“The Hero is currently having breakfast. She looked quite tired.”

“You guys are the same. Walking corpses, all of you.”

“Colonel seems to look the worst, you know?”

Turning to Pippin’s words, I looked at Jake, who was holding up a mirror.

I peeked into it, and there’s a zombie staring back.

“Damn it!”

I was so shocked that a curse slipped out. Jake moved the mirror away and spoke.

“Why don’t you just take the whole day to rest? Today’s schedule doesn’t seem particularly important.”

“Is there a reason not to just follow Camila Lowell around all day?”

“You’re buttering up the cult folks, aren’t you? Isn’t that stressful, dealing with people?”

“…Tsk.”

I had nothing to say and just smacked my lips.

It’s true that I’m running around building an information network. It’s also true that I’m exhausted from meeting those piggies. Honestly, the stress these days is overwhelming.

I have to think about the Hero’s safety, find terrorists, keep an eye on the Imperial Guard HQ, and manage the Hero’s schedule and the image of those around her.

Just picking the significant tasks, it’s already this much. Right now, even ten bodies wouldn’t be enough.

Technically, you can’t get overtime pay for working past ten. If I weren’t a civil servant, I would have reported to the labor office already.

“I’m not the only one struggling here. You guys, the agents, embassy staff—everyone’s having a tough time. What can we do about it?”

“Well, other people get to rest for about seven hours, you know. The Colonel and we can’t even sleep for six.”

“Do you think it’s easy to cut down on schedules?”

I let out a deep sigh.

I do have the authority to adjust the schedule, but without a valid reason for pulling back, we’d receive countless requests for handshakes—not complaints flooding the embassy.

Last time, when I tried to cancel a schedule for the Hero’s health, the ambassador grabbed my pant leg and begged. How could I refuse when a fifty-year-old man was pleading like that?

In any case, unless it’s a safety issue, I can’t cancel schedules easily. The Colonel also told me to coordinate the schedule for safety, but he never said it’s okay not to go if tired.

“Right now, while the Colonel’s health is an issue, the operation funds are slipping away too. Just how much bribery are you handing out…?”

“Hey! The operation funds? They’re all counterfeit bills anyway.”

“Eh?”

“The Information Agency got the mint to print counterfeit notes. If we gave all that out as real money, the national treasury would go bankrupt. They’re all counterfeit!”

The explanation that the country directly prints counterfeit money to build an information network left Pippin and Jake with their mouths agape.

In modern times, this is known as supernotes. A country prints counterfeit money for very shady purposes.

To collapse the economy by increasing the money supply, induce administrative waste by promoting counterfeit identification, or give bribes in counterfeit notes to save real money, and so on.

Indeed, during World War II, the Nazis printed large amounts of counterfeit money to provoke inflation in the British economy. Wasn’t it called Operation Bernhard? I learned about it in college a long time ago, but I’ve forgotten the name.

Of course, it goes without saying that if discovered, it’s a disaster. This is something illegal even on a national level.

“Wow, so we’re committing crimes then.”

“Intercepting communications and tailing people is illegal too, right? It’s obviously illegal to spy and tail in another country without a warrant.”

“If we get caught, we’ll all end up in prison.”

Well…

“If our identity as diplomats serves as a shield, we might just get expelled. But if luck is against us, we might end up in jail or shot in the street.”

We calmly discussed the worst-case scenarios.

Life in this field is either success or death. If the country decides to undertake a prisoner exchange for a significant mission, we might go back home. However, if diplomatic relations freeze, that possibility vanishes.

Before we knew it, a heavy silence settled over the room. It wasn’t lighthearted talk after all.

Pippin and Jake had seen their close seniors and colleagues get caught while working for the Information Agency.

…So have I.

“Hey, let’s stop with the grim faces and go grab some food.”

I clapped twice to gather their attention and left the meeting room.

The two of them waddled after me like ducklings following their mother.

“Where will we eat?”

“It’s tough these days. Let’s just eat at the cafeteria.”

“Hey! Colonel, buy us just one meal!”

“Come on now. You guys know you earn a couple of times your salary with all the bonuses, right? Asking for me to buy you food?”

“A~ buy it for us, pleeease!”

“Get lost, you annoying brats.”

I turned to head out of the embassy with those two by my sides.

We need to eat well if we’re going to get through our hard work.

“Choose the menu.”

“Meat!”

“Do you eat only meat all the time? Eat something else for once.”

While Pippin and Jake eagerly pondered the menu, we arrived in front of the embassy entrance.

Just as I was about to write my name on the paper for exiting…

“Wait! Stop! Stooooop!”

An agent appeared, waving his arms as he ran toward us from afar.

“What’s going on?”

“C-Colonel!”

“Ah— I’m just an ordinary Major, you know.”

“Major! There’s intel that just came in…!”

Intel?

I hadn’t received any reports.

The agent, trembling, pointed inside the embassy. I could see agents frantically dashing through the corridors.

What the hell is going on?!

“There’s a shootout happening right now!”