A Billion Stars Can’t Amount to You

Chapter 286-292



Chapter 286: Can You Give Me A Hug? (6)

 

She instinctively looked back at the phone on the floor in front of the tall windows. The screen flickered on and off, and she could still hear the sound of someone on the phone every so often.

Ji Yi hesitated for a moment but eventually, she walked over and bent down to pick up He Jichen’s phone.

From the call screen, Ji Yi could see that the name displayed was “Han Zhifan.”

Ji Yi didn’t know much about Han Zhifan, but she knew he was a local, rich friend of He Jichen.

“Chen Ge, don’t be too sad…” said Han Zhifan again.

Ji Yi hurriedly raised the phone to her ear and gently told Han Zhifan that He Jichen couldn’t hear him right now. “Hello, Mr. Han. Director He isn’t on his phone right now. He’s in the bathroom.”

The phone instantly fell silent.

After some time passed, Han Zhifan spoke again. “Is Chen Ge in his room?”

If He Jichen wasn’t in his own room, whose room would he be in?

Ji Yi thought Han Zhifan asked a ridiculous question but she politely replied, “Yes.”

“I’ll go…” On the phone, it sounded like Han Zhifan muttered something that resembled swear words then he asked, “So, you’re… the supporting actress for “Three Thousand Lunatics,” Ji Yi?”

“Eh?” I’ve never introduced myself before… Ji Yi was stunned. After a few seconds, she said inquisitively, “Have… we met?”

“Must we have met? It’s easy to guess! Chen Ge’s room…” Han Zhifan only said half of what he was going to say when he realized that he already revealed too much, so he suddenly swallowed the latter half of his sentence. “… do you think just anyone can casually walk in?”

Han Zhifan didn’t finish speaking so Ji Yi was a little confused. After she let out an “Mm?” she was about to say “What?” when Han Zhifan changed the topic. “Right! How is Chen Ge right now?”

“He…” Ji Yi lost her train of thought, glanced over at the bathroom door, and answered honestly. “…hasn’t come out of the bathroom.”

Han Zhifan dragged out a long “Oh…” as he started thinking…

In all the years I’ve known He Jichen, I’ve never seen him so moved by a girl before.

He Jichen must be devastated right now after learning the truth, and the only person in the world who can comfort him and make him feel better might just be on the phone with me right now?

With that thought, Han Zhifan spoke again, “…Chen Ge’s probably not feeling too good. If you aren’t busy, please stay with him a little longer…”

Han Zhifan was afraid that what he said wouldn’t be enough for Ji Yi to care, so after a pause, he continued with a serious tone of voice, “…If he doesn’t come out of the bathroom after a long period, you have to check on him. Don’t let anything happen to him while he’s alone in there…”

On the other side of the locked bathroom door, He Jichen completely collapsed against the wooden door.

He shut his eyes and stayed there silently for a while before he dared to think back on what Han Zhifan just told him over the phone.

“Chen Ge, I investigated what you told me last night. Four years ago, Ji Yi had her abortion at the Health Care Center for Women and Children.”

“But it wasn’t really an abortion per se because the circumstances were a little special. She could never have kept the child.”

Chapter 287: Can You Give Me A Hug? (7)

 

“She had an ectopic pregnancy. When they found out what it was, she was already two months pregnant. The doctor said it was probably her first pregnancy and she didn’t really have any experience. Her period was late, yet she didn’t go to get it checked. She waited until her abdomen hurt and started bleeding before someone took her to the hospital.”

“Ectopic pregnancies are really dangerous, so when she was taken to the hospital and showed signs of bleeding, the situation was dire. The doctor arranged for an emergency operation.”

“During the operation, she bled excessively. I took a trip to the Health Care Center for Women and Children where she had her operation and spoke with the doctor to get an understanding of what happened. She said that at the time, Ji Yi almost lost her life on the operating table. Her heart really stopped beating, but the doctor practically called all the resident doctors over. They resuscitated her for two whole minutes before they pulled her back from death’s door…”

Ectopic pregnancy, bleeding, emergency operation, excessive bleeding, heart stopped beating, at death’s door… He Jichen’s heart was tugged harshly as each and every one of those cruel words flashed across his mind.

They were young back then. At Sucheng Yizhong, her one phrase “Give them a condom each” and the silhouette of her back caught He Jichen’s attention.

At the time, he was young and reckless, fearless of any consequences, and grossly overestimated himself because of his ignorance about the world. He took advantage of the fact that nobody dared to mess with him at Sucheng Yizhong to order Fatty to search through all the classrooms, looking for her.

From the very moment he bumped into her at his house, he quietly and unknowingly started to change for her.

He studied hard just to help her highlight the key points in her textbook.

He stopped staying out late and came home on time, just to see her.

He protected her no matter what. He protected her so much that his underlings didn’t dare disturb her in fear that if they spoke out of turn to her and upset her, they’d be dragged out to the grove behind the school for a violent beating.

He figured that he did so much for her. He came from a good background and he was surrounded by people who served him well. When did he ever have to work to win anyone’s favor? So, when he found out that the person in Ji Yi’s heart wasn’t him, he was jealous, envious, and assumed that she didn’t know a good thing when she saw it…

He really considered wiping her clean from his world and finding someone better, but he couldn’t do it. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to see her, so he sneakily came to visit her once a month in Beijing.

At the time, he thought he treated her really well… so well in fact that even he was touched. So after they met again, he couldn’t take it when she tried to distance herself, run away from him, or wanted to have nothing to do with him. Whenever he couldn’t handle how she treated him, he thought up ways to hurt her the same way she hurt him.

He didn’t realize until after he took Han Zhifan’s call just now how much of a b*stard, just how repulsive he was.

Did he love her? He truly loved her. For all his life, he gave her his good side, his bad side, his aggrieved side, his crazy side… everything.

But his so-called love hurt her the deepest.

He always thought that Qian Ge setting her up for a car accident which put her in a three-year coma was the vilest, most inexcusable thing to do.

But he realized in that very moment: how was he any different from Qian Ge? Didn’t he also almost make her lose her life?

At that thought, He Jichen raised his hand up to his face and harshly slapped himself twice on the face.

Although he realized he loved her, he equally loved preserving his pride and dignity.

Yeah, he loved her, but he didn’t know how to love, nor had he ever learned how to love.

Chapter 288: Can You Give Me A Hug? (8)

 

He wasn’t sure if he felt regret or heartache over her almost losing her life four years ago. He Jichen furrowed his brows hard and pursed his lips tightly.

He felt like something had violently torn his heart apart. The pain made it hard for him to breathe.

He truly was a b*stard. At first, during the audition for “The Palace” when Qian Ge told him Ji Yi hadn’t wanted his child and aborted the baby straight away, he actually believed it. He was actually sad about it.

He was truly repulsive. He actually had the gall to be jealous when he saw how she smiled as she read He Yuguang’s message?

It hurt. His heart really hurt. It hurt so much he thought he was going to die.

But the pain he felt wasn’t for himself but it was for her.

So this is what real heartache feels like; a pain that makes you wish you were dead, a heart-torn, gut-wrenching feeling…

He Jichen’s entire body started to tremble from the pain then he forced himself to walk over to the sink. He stroked the ashtray, lit a cigarette, and started to take big drags as though he was torturing himself.

After hanging up Han Zhifan’s call, Ji Yi started to worry since He Jichen still hadn’t come out from the bathroom. She circled the room twice over. She couldn’t help but walk over to the bathroom door, raise her hand, and knock the door.

She was met with a wall of silence.

Ji Yi waited for some time, but seeing as there seemed to be no movement at the door, she couldn’t help but put her ear to the door.

It wasn’t clear if the hotel was soundproof, but Ji Yi tried to listen intently for a long time, yet she still couldn’t hear any movement.

What’s he doing inside? Did I knock too softly so he hasn’t heard me?

With that thought, Ji Yi knocked on the door again but this time, she knocked harder than before.

“Bang! Bang! Bang!” rang the door for some time, but there was no sign of it opening.

Ji Yi’s heart started to grow a little uneasy.

Something couldn’t have happened like Han Zhifan said, right? He Jichen doesn’t look like someone who would take things too hard… But when he went to the bathroom, he really didn’t look too good. Han Zhifan even told me that if he doesn’t come out from the bathroom, I should definitely go check on him…

At that thought, Ji Yi was completely rattled. She went from smacking the door to kicking it until her feet hurt, but there was still no reaction from the person inside the bathroom.

All of a sudden, Ji Yi stopped caring about anything else. She walked around the room turning things over and throwing things around left and right until the entire room was in shambles. Yet she still couldn’t find anything to break the door.

She was so worried that her forehead was drenched in sweat. Then she rushed over to the bathroom door and kicked it with all her might.

The sheer pain from the blow against her feet made her eyes water.

She raised her leg to hug her foot. Then, she suddenly had an idea. She hobbled out of He Jichen’s room and chose the room opposite and hurled herself at the door, kicking and punching.

“Who is it?!” Because the smacking at the door was non-stop, the person who opened it was little annoyed. After his angry reply to Ji Yi, he pulled the door open.

It was the assistant director who opened the door. Over his shoulder, Ji Yi saw that the casting director and the male lead were sitting in his room.

There was a plate of fruit and beers on the table. The three of them were probably hanging out.

The assistant director was clearly stunned to see Ji Yi as he cried “Ji Yi?” in disbelief. Before he could ask why she was there, Ji Yi reached her hand out, grabbed the assistant director by the arm, and dragged him into He Jichen’s room.

Chapter 289: Can You Give Me A Hug? (9)

 

Ji Yi dragged the assistant director all the way to the bathroom door. Without giving him any reason at all, she pointed at the door and said, “Assistant director, quickly think of a way to break the door down!”

Break the door down?

The assistant director silently looked at Ji Yi like she was crazy.

Seeing as the assistant director didn’t move, Ji Yi ushered him again, “Assistant director, what are you doing looking so stunned? Hurry!”

“No, out of nowhere, you want me to break…”

Before the assistant director could finish, Ji Yi was in such a hurry that she looked like she was going to stomp angrily at any time. She cried, “Assistant director! Quit asking so many questions and quickly break down the door, alright?! He Jichen’s in there! If you act too slow, someone’s going to die!”

Die?

When he heard those words, the assistant director burst out laughing. “Ji Yi, your joke is pretty good…”

“I’m not joking. It’s true, He Jichen has been in the bathroom for some time now and he still hasn’t come out. He didn’t look good when he walked in, and Han Zhifan just advised me that if he doesn’t come out, I have to go in to check on him. He said something will happen to him…” The more Ji Yi spoke, the more anxious she got as tears started to pour out.

Seeing how distressed she looked, the assistant director started to take her seriously. “You’re saying Han Zhifan advised you?”

Ji Yi nodded.

The expression on the assistant director’s face changed, and without any hesitation, he yelled for the casting director and male lead to come over.

The casting director and male lead saw the anxiety on the assistant director’s face and realized it was an emergency. Without asking, they immediately followed the assistant director’s plan. The three of them got together and charged at the door, kicking it open.

As the door fell to the ground, it let out a loud “Bang――.” The sight of He Jichen leaning against the sink while smoking came into view.

He Jichen, who was immersed in his own thoughts, furrowed his brows and looked up at the four people on the other side of the door.

After meeting his gaze, they were completely frozen on the spot.

The assistant director, who stood right in the middle, stared at He Jichen in a daze. He finally realized something.

Didn’t she say… someone’s going to die?

The assistant director turned around and glanced at Ji Yi then realized that He Jichen looked just fine. Without thinking twice, he betrayed Ji Yi. “It was Ji Yi’s idea. She said you wanted to commit suicide…”

As the assistant director finished speaking, He Jichen’s gaze fell on Ji Yi’s face.

This group of people had been around He Jichen for a long time, so they knew just how frightening his temper was and were afraid he’d get angry. Seeing that he was looking at Ji Yi, the assistant director used that opportunity to shoot glances at the other two next to him. Then the three of them quickly slipped out of He Jichen’s room.

The sound of the door closing dumfounded Ji Yi and woke her up from her daze.

She finally realized his gaze had drifted to the mess around the room behind her.

Didn’t Han Zhifan tell me that something would happen? But in the end, he was just in the bathroom smoking. Meanwhile, I completely turned his room upside down…

Ji Yi awkwardly bit her bottom lip, looked down, and spoke in a quiet voice, “Han Zhifan told me that something was going to happen to you…”

He Jichen didn’t say anything but let his gaze fall back onto Ji Yi. He saw her fair neck was drenched in sweat.

Ji Yi didn’t dare look at He Jichen. She waited for a while, but seeing as He Jichen didn’t react, all she could do was continue to explain herself in a somber voice. “…I knocked on the door for so long, but you didn’t even react. I thought it was just as Han Zhifan said, that you…”

Chapter 290: Can You Give Me A Hug? (10)

 

Up until that point, Ji Yi hadn’t finished saying the two words “commit suicide” when she suddenly fell silent for two seconds. Then she timidly said, “Don’t be mad. When I saw you go into the bathroom with that awful look on your face, I was a little worried, so…”

Worried? He Jichen’s fingers trembled slightly as he pinched the cigarette.

Ji Yi looked down and thought about it for a moment then continued to quietly say, “I’ll help you pay for any damages to the room. About the room… I’ll tidy it up for you now…”

As she said that, Ji Yi turned around.

Before she could approach the mess on the ground, He Jichen suddenly raised his hand, threw his cigarette into the trash can, and took big strides over to her.

Ji Yi sensed He Jichen drawing close as she instinctively turned her head. Before she caught sight of his eyes, he grabbed her arm and pulled her swiftly into his arms, embracing her tightly.

The man’s unique scent instantly enveloped Ji Yi’s entire body.

She was stunned at first, but after three whole seconds, she realized what they were doing. Her body froze, her heart was startled, and a second later, she was so flustered that she started to struggle out of He Jichen’s embrace.

He Jichen realized what she was doing, because the moment she struggled, he hugged her even more tightly. He didn’t give her the slightest opportunity to break free.

Through the man’s thin clothing, Ji Yi could clearly feel the warmth radiating from his body.

Her heartbeat and consciousness started to become confused, shy, and uncomfortable. She nervously held her breath and her face looked like it was on fire as it was completely flushed and warm.

She wanted to struggle out of his grip so badly.

He Jichen remembered the wound on her waist, so he didn’t dare hug her too tight because he was afraid to hurt her. At the same time, she fought him even harder, but just as she was going to break free from his embrace, he suddenly said, “Can you give me a hug?”

He sounded very gently, yet there was an indescribable sense of sadness.

Ji Yi’s heart felt like it had been pierced by something as a sharp pain started to surface. All of a sudden, she came to a complete stop, frozen on the spot.

After about three seconds, Ji Yi cried, “I…”

She said just one word, but He Jichen figured she was going to reject him, so he quickly spoke first. “Give me a hug. Just for a while. Just a while…”

He Jichen sounded a lot gentler compared to how sad he sounded a moment ago. Ji Yi wasn’t sure if it was all in her head, but she thought she actually heard him beg.

For a man so arrogant and proud, why would he beg anything of me?

In the midst of Ji Yi’s astonishment, she heard He Jichen’s voice from above her head. “…as friends. Is that okay?”

Friend… To Ji Yi, he was once her most important friend when they were young…

Ji Yi wanted to reject He Jichen but the words seemed lodged in her throat. No matter how hard she tried, the words wouldn’t come out.

Her silence and hesitation gave He Jichen a sliver of hope as he slowly tightened his arms, hugging her in his arms.

Unlike before when she tried to push away from him, her body was now tensed up.

He carefully held her a little tighter. Seeing as she didn’t fight back, he slowly lowered his head and buried his face in her hair.

Chapter 291: Pampered Collectively by the Production Team (1)

 

His tenderness made Ji Yi’s fingers quiver as she instinctively looked up.

She still hadn’t reciprocated with a hug when his words rang in her ears again. Her hands suddenly stopped in mid-air.

Though she didn’t know what Han Zhifan told him over the phone, she could tell he was devastated. The only reason he hugged her like that was probably because he wanted someone to comfort him…

Ji Yi lifted her fingers and balled her hands into fists. She seemed to be torn over something. After some time, she eventually sank her body inward and stopped fighting his loving embrace.

It was just as he remembered. Her hair still smelled sweet.

It was the same sweetness he had countless dreams about over the past few years.

In that very instant, He Jichen was in a slight trance, feeling like it was all an illusion.

He gently pressed her back with his fingers. She was real and she was soft to the touch. This feeling made his heart much more at ease.

He never imagined that he would actually have an opportunity in his lifetime to actually hug her like this…

A wave of intense emotions instantly engulfed He Jichen’s entire body, and with it came infinite satisfaction and contentment. He gently rubbed his cheek against her hair then irresistibly embraced her tighter and deeper.

The room was very quiet. It was so quiet in fact that Ji Yi and He Jichen could hear the sound of one another’s heartbeats and breaths.

Such a gentle, beautiful, and delicate experience made He Jichen’s pained heart gradually calm down after being shocked from receiving Han Zhifan’s call. When he caught the subtle scent of her body, he sinfully and seriously started to reflect on everything that happened between them.

He always thought he loved her… until tonight, when he got Han Zhifan’s phone call. It was only after the heart-piercing pain of regret that he learned that he never treated her with love; it was only ever “like.” It was only when you liked someone that you wanted to love each other and kill each other simultaneously, feel bitter at heart, put in hard work yet want to to be repaid, and strive to win but end up hurting both parties.

It was only when you liked someone that you would be so immature and have such extreme thoughts.

True love wasn’t like this.

True love wasn’t just about liking someone and thinking about the other person while they thought about you.

True love was him being okay, knowing that she was okay.

It was a shame that he was confused for far too long. He learned this far too late and made her endure so much hurt, making her suffer so much.

At that thought, He Jichen couldn’t help but gradually tighten his arms. His attitude radically changed as he looked at her in a different way.

Sorry Ji Yi, I learned how to love far too late.

Sorry Cola girl. I said I’d protect you, but I ended up hurting you the most.

Sorry, I’m truly sorry. On your road to growth, I forced you to mature on your journey. I also hurt you so badly.

It was unclear just how long the two of them stood there, silently hugging each other. It wasn’t until Ji Yi’s legs started to ache from standing that she raised her leg, shifting gently. He Jichen, who had been hugging her without moving an inch, slowly moved his head away from her hair.

His palm on her back lingered there for a while before he slowly loosened his fingers as though he couldn’t bear to tear away. Little by little, he withdrew his hand from her back.

After his hand had completely left her body, He Jichen took a step back to put some distance between the two of them.

Chapter 292: Pampered Collectively by the Production Team (2)

 

Ji Yi felt a slight chill as she tore away from his embrace. She furrowed her brows and instinctively glanced up at He Jichen.

She could sense his gaze right at her and the thought of their hug just now suddenly appeared in Ji Yi’s mind, causing her face to instantly turn red. In a panic, she lowered her head in confusion, avoiding his gaze.

Ji Yi’s gaze fell to her own feet as He Jichen, who was standing in front of her, spoke. Rather than the sad tone of voice he used when he first hugged her, He Jichen spoke with his usual elegance: “Thank you.”

Is he thanking me for the hug just now?

That hug was just too affectionate, so Ji Yi couldn’t bring herself to say “It’s nothing.” Instead, she just gently shook her head.

She knew that the hug didn’t mean anything, but it was all that was on her mind. She was afraid He Jichen could tell she was affected strongly by the hug, so after she shook her head, she stopped for a few seconds and hurriedly said goodbye. “It’s late; I have to head back.”

When she finished speaking, Ji Yi didn’t wait for He Jichen’s response before she turned around and headed for the door.

He Jichen stood rooted to the spot. He stared at her back silently without flinching.

She weaved around the sofa and the mess scattered around the floor before reaching the entrance. That was when he suddenly moved his lips: “Ji Yi.”

Ji Yi’s hurried footsteps came to an abrupt halt. After a few seconds, she looked back at him.

She didn’t say anything, but her gaze was silently asking him if there was anything else?

He Jichen met her gaze, transfixed for a long time. Just when Ji Yi thought he wouldn’t reply, the calm expression on his face suddenly turned serious. His tone of voice became incredibly sincere as he said, “Ji Yi, I’m sorry.”

Sorry? Why’s he suddenly saying sorry to me?

Ji Yi was stunned for a moment as she thought back to the note he wrote for her when they returned to school after Chinese new year, eating at the hot pot restaurant opposite B-Film.

He said the same thing then: “Ji Yi, I’m sorry.”

Is he now apologizing to me for what happened with Lin Zhengyi?

When she couldn’t think of any other reason, she asked, “For what happened with Lin Zhengyi?”

She didn’t wait for He Jichen to reply before she added, “It’s in the past, so let’s not bring it up again. What’s more, didn’t you already apologize that day at the hot pot-”

Just before Ji Yi could finish, He Jichen, who was standing not too far away, stared firmly at her and said, “Not only for this.”

Ji Yi was astonished.

If it’s not only for this, then what else? Don’t tell me there were things he did behind my back that I don’t know about?

He Jichen looked at her but didn’t say anything else for a long time.

His face still had the same, unusually dignified expression.

After some time passed, He Jichen blinked gently. About ten seconds later, his lips finally moved. “Also for that night four years ago.”

Ji Yi, who hadn’t quite come back to her senses from what He Jichen said, was completely stunned when she heard this.

He-he’s actually… apologizing for what happened that night four years ago?

Ji Yi’s eyes suddenly turned sore as she instinctively turned her head and averted her gaze.

The room fell silent once again.

After the atmosphere slowly mellowed out from He Jichen’s sudden apology, He Jichen didn’t really expect Ji Yi to forgive him right away. He said in a relaxed voice, “Ah right! The production team is going to have a party next Friday. Don’t forget to come.”


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