What Do You Mean All Dungeons Are Girls!!!?

Ovi’ta sat on a log. She was tired and hungry. The young girl had been up half the night bouncing off barriers. To make it worse, when she had come back, the crazy mage simply said, “If you are done bouncing off walls, you might want to catch some sleep. We leave after breakfast.”

Honestly, she hadn’t gotten much sleep, but the crazy mage seemed fine. Speaking of the crazy mage she was over by a dying tree. Ovi’ta watched as she suddenly reached up, and pulled on a branch. It simply gave and came off. There was a strange popping sound and a glow at the connection between the branch and the trunk. There were none of the normal sounds of a branch being ripped off by brute strength. Nor was there the expected damage to the trunk. There was a divot where the branch had been but the wound was covered with smooth bark. As Arlie came over, she stared between the two. Her head switched back and forth several times.

Arlie was cleaning the branch when she finally asked what spell she had used. Arlie looked at her, and answered, “It’s called Disassemble. It's a simple spell for taking things apart.”

Ovi’ta glanced at the branch, and said “You’re joking right?”

“I’m guessing you haven’t seen the spell used that way before?”

She nodded, and Arlie sighed. “Well, spells don’t discriminate. People however do. The spell sees no difference between an automaton, a golem, a tree, a corpse, or even a tent. To the spell, they are all the same. Heck, it doesn’t care if the target is living or dead.”

A bizarre mental image popped into her mind and Ovi’ta glanced back at the tree. Then turned to regard Arlie, “Are you saying the spell could be used on a living person?”

Arlie nodded, “Yep. I have seen it used on people. It’s a favorite of mages who specialize in entertaining the masses.”

Ovi’ta had not expected to hear that, and her face must have relayed those feelings. Arlie elaborated, “Keep in mind that the limits of a spell are determined by the caster not the spell itself. The caster’s understanding, their mana, and their ability to visualize the spell all play a role. Chants for example are an aide meant to help the caster conjure an image with which they guide the spell. Few are the people that can use Disassemble on a living target, it takes a greater understanding of the spell, than say taking apart a fresh kill.”

Ovi’ta frowned, “why would anyone want to use it on a living person anyway?”

Arlie was arranging her twigs, and firewood as she replied, “I guess you were never into theater? There are a few reasons for it, but one group uses it for magic shows where mages come together and use spells meant more to dazzle and impress than actually be practical. Even common utility spells like Disassemble have uses for that lot. Then there are the perverts. I remember one young man who left me with such a weird crime spree that everyone was talking about it and his trial ended up on my desk. I sentenced that man to a thousand years in the nightmare chamber. He was a model citizen after that.”

Ovi’ta watched the mage start a fire and start cooking. After taking a while to process that comment, she asked, “Who in the infernal realms are you?”

Arlie giggled, “Took you long enough to ask. I’d start, but when your list of titles is as long as mine it will take months to list them all. I’ll start with a few of the important ones, I’m the founder of the Solean Empire, The last of the First Lords, Former Supreme Protector of the Solean Empire, The conqueror of a thousand galaxies, The Creator and Destroyer of Worlds, Queen of the Primal gods and most importantly I am the god that shaped this world. I carved every mountain, every basin, shaped every ocean, and breathed life into the primal races. I even created the Infernal realms, and the Celestial Realms.”

Ovi’ta just stared blankly. She had no idea what to say to that.

A few hours earlier:

Eris followed the dragon into the town. She couldn’t help but look around nervously. Afraid that someone was going to harass her for walking around naked. She wasn’t comfortable being around so many people while nude. She had been hoping anything would happen to delay their arrival in town, but nothing did. If anything they made better time than she had hoped. Thankfully the guard hadn’t said anything about their attire, but she knew it was only a matter of time. She had been a man, and her age notwithstanding she knew she was cute. The older ones would likely be tolerable, but the young boys going through puberty were going to be trouble. She had been a young boy once, and that meant she was very aware of how they would respond to her.

Zemoria gave her a look, and said, “Stop watching the crowds. It’s late and we need to find a place to sleep.”

There wasn’t much of a crowd given the hour. Still there were a few, mostly adventurers returning from quests, or adventurers who had just got into town. Merchants were arriving just in time to get in before sundown, and other travelers arrived as well. Almost no one on the streets at this time were actually full time locals. The locals were likely sitting down for dinner. That was a thought she didn’t want to settle on for long. She was hungry, but so far her stomach hadn’t growled. She was hoping it would not, and that she would have a chance to get something not prepared by the dragon she was following.

She kept pace with Zemoria, and tried not to think about how she would be treated come meal time. She knew part of it was her fault, but that didn’t make her feel any better. In fact the young girl felt worse because of it. Not that she really understood how to deal with that nature dragon.

It wasn’t long before they arrived at a small but cozy looking inn. Zemoria led the way in, and before she knew it she was sitting at a table with a nervous boy just a few years older than she was. Well physically anyway, she had been in her late twenties before she encountered Zemoria. One thing was for certain, she would never try to steal from a dragon ever again. If she could go back in time, and stop herself from trying to steal just a few gems from Zemoria’s hoard she would. She glanced at Zemoria who was busy talking to the innkeeper. She had been talking a few minutes now, mostly negotiating a price for the best room in the place. Although that was to be expected. What wasn’t expected, but she was thankful for was that no one had bothered her over being naked.

Suddenly the boy asked, “You seem young for an adventurer, what brought you to Bordertown?”

She sighed, and considered her response. Internally glad that he wasn’t going to mention the fact that she was naked. While she could tell the truth, she really didn’t want to say. It was embarrassing, and who would admit to a stranger that they foolishly tried to steal from a dragon, and woke up as a little girl? Now that same dragon had flown her all the way here just to verify the existence of a dungeon she had mentioned. Worse still, that dragon was treating her like an errant toddler. It was humiliating, and rather hard to talk about. She considered lying, but that didn’t seem right either. Instead after a moment’s silence she finally said, “I would rather not say, but I’m not an adventurer,” muttering under her breath she finished, “not anymore.”

He chuckled wryly, “Neither am I. I tried to join the guild earlier, but I just couldn’t bring myself to walk through the door.”

She gave him a second look. He was about the age to be joining, and she thought he was kind of cute. In a boyish sort of way. Not that she would ever admit that. “So you want to join the guild?”

He sighed, and was about to answer when Zemoria sat down. He stared at her for a moment, and then said, “I have my reasons, but they are kind of private.”

A part of her wanted to dig, but never got a chance. Zemoria spoke, “Hello there young man. Thanks for keeping my charge company. I need to get her to bed, but we could talk later. I think I heard you want to join the adventurer’s guild?”

He nodded shyly, and Zemoria smiled, “Excellent, I could give you a few pointers and help you get started. Although there are a couple things I would like to ask, but I have a feeling they are a private matter. I’ll wait until you are comfortable to ask them.”

With that Zemoria excused them, and Eris found herself being led upstairs. She never had a chance to order something like she hoped. Unfortunately, that meant another dinner of being spoon fed mashed fruit.

Eris woke to Zemoria standing over her and gently shaking her. She stirred, and turned to face the dragon tiredly. Before she could say a word, Zemoria spoke, “I let you sleep, it’s almost mid-morning. Time to get up, and breakfast is ready for you.”

She glanced at the window, and after a moment she groaned. Her mind having just caught up with what Zemoria had said. She just knew it was going to be another bowl of mashed fruit. Not that anything she said was going to change that. She slipped out of the bed, and felt the blanket slip from her skin. Allowing the cool air to touch her bare skin, and wake her more thoroughly then she had been. After a week of sleeping in a basket the bed had been nice, she even had a proper blanket. She would love to just wrap herself in it and use it as clothing, but she doubted Zemoria would let her. After spending a week with a nature dragon she was already becoming an expert on their view of clothing.

She wasn’t given much time to think before Zemori ‘guided’ her to the table. There Zemoria began to spoon feed her mashed fruit and go over the day’s plans. There were a few things that were on the list. She listened without paying much attention, and just wished she could be anywhere else but here. As such she ended up missing a few interesting details that normally would have sparked her interest. There was even something in there about the boy she had been talking to, but she missed it.