Tunnel Rat

Chapter 315: Lunch Money or Bruises?

Two doorways stood near where Milo was playing chess with Icarus. Icarus7 appeared from the door labeled 'Out' and slumped dejectedly to where an empty chair was waiting for him along with a group of his earlier selves discussing how they'd died. They waited excitedly for him to tell his story.

"It was all going so well! I ambushed a clown with a bomb from behind and used the bomb on a pack of feral Roomba who were blocking the staircase to level 143. The next level was better, and I found a merchant selling maps to level 146 and met some people who were buying spices and knives. They were friendly and invited me to dinner! Everyone was smiling and they complimented me on how healthy and well-fed I looked. The cook even invited me to taste the stone soup in the big pot!"

"How was the soup? What did it taste like?"

"Bland, just boiling water with some rocks at the bottom. I got a good look at the rocks when they threw me in and slammed the lid down."

"I bet it tastes great now!"

Icarus8 jumped up from his chess game with Milo and ran to the door marked 'In'. Gotta go! My turn to conquer the dungeon!" Icarus9 appeared, and the chess game started over. Milo moved his pawn forward and sipped his hot beverage.

"What are you drinking?" Icarus9 leaned forward and sniffed.

"Tea, of course. All the better people drink tea. Coffee is for uncultured morons, and people who lack opposable thumbs. This is a finely brewed pot of Earl Grey. All of the famous adventurers I've met drink tea. You can tell the winners from the losers by what they drink. Winners drink tea. Losers drink coffee with silly names like 'Double-brewed Chickory and Orange Peel' really hideous stuff. The only coffee worth drinking is made from decaf instant coffee powder." A second mug appeared and he pushed it toward his chess partner. "Try this, it tastes like winning."

Icarus9 sipped his tea. It did taste like Winning! The chess game progressed as it always did, with Icarus making the same moves and Milo playing defensively and taking his time. It wasn't long before Icarus8 returned. He was smiling, but bruised. "Guess what? There's a hidden video game arcade on Level 132. I traded all of my money and a six-pack of Red Fizzy Potions to an NPC who showed me how to there through a hidden panel. He said there was a back door that exited to Level 126 and I could skip the steam traps on Level 129 and the roaming packs of zombies on Level 127. That place was awesome. I set a high score on Squishy Humans-The Revenge!"

"And then?"

"Oh, then two little girls with baseball bats said I had two choices: Lunch Money or bruises, and I was all out of money."

"But you got a high score! That's winning!

Icarus9 joined the group, looking much like Icarus8. "They took my money, then beat me up again. They said the cost of lunch was going up and to bring more, next time. But I beat the high score again!"

"Winning!"

"So much Winning!"

Milo advanced a pawn and took a sip of his tea, beginning his next partial game of chess, and doing nothing suspicious. Just a little bit longer now, and Icarus would be out of the beginner area.

Jeremy was watching from a small, one-way window. "I think it will be safe for you to start soon. Icarus31 had just come back, complaining about Buzzsaw Bugs and carrying his severed head in his hands. I am very curious about the game you have him playing."

Tallsqueak felt sympathy for him. Buzzsaw Bugs were stupidly overpowered. The small mechanical scorpions loved to sneak up behind you and attack with the whirling blade on their tail. You got a 1-second warning when you heard the sound of a power saw, and then saw arms and legs fall off. He was very happy the dungeon he had to negotiate was filled mostly with orcs, goblins, and pit traps. Granted, 666 levels was going to be a lot to explore, but it would be worse with Buzzsaw Bugs. He was patiently waiting for the time to initiate his part of the plan. While Milo played chess, he waited patiently inside Jeremy's little house, hopefully safe from prying eyes.

Jeremy had been surprised when Milo split off a portion of his Overmind into another personality that looked like a monster from a dungeon. More surprised when the two of them began speaking independently and even arguing with each other. He'd looked at the two of them and asked, "How?"

"Runic Engineer Tallsqueak, at your service. Happy to meet you, Professor Cooper." Tallsqueak nodded at Milo, indicating he should speak. The ratkin sat down and began gnawing on a piece of Goulda aged so long it was hard as a rock. Milo looked enviously at him as the smell wafted to his nostrils.

"Several things. My biological body is designed for fast thinking on multiple levels. My nervous system shunts impulses several times faster than a normal human, with less stress. I've never thought of only one thing at a time, even when I'm sleeping. And I don't sleep much. I have to keep busy or I go crazy. That was coded into all of Batch 3, like a Kernel Command in an AI. Partitioning my mind actually helps to keep my anxiety levels in check. Each part has something to do and is less likely to run off on tangents. I get twitchy if I get bored.

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"Next is the current virtual reality game world created by AI. They've used your research and theories to enhance the virtual reality that a human experiences in their world. The connection to the game world forms a prototype Overmind as part of the interface. This is generally a benefit, enhancing sensory input, making the world seem real, and letting a user experience an alternate reality. The longer I played, the more I expanded my Overmind in the game. I think all players are doing this, but at a very slow pace compared to what I accomplished. That gave me an edge when I started your sadistic set of tutorials."

"You found my tutorial programs difficult? How many weeks did it take you for each one?"

"Each one? I did all of them in a total of 29.4 hours while in my pod. More for me, subjectively, since I was using accelerated time."

Jeremy shook his head, amused. "The stress levels for those lessons were so high, and each one took so many tries, that I estimated even genius-level students would take over a year to complete them. If they could."

Tallsqueak slapped a palm to his forehead. "You should always read all documentation for any project.

Milo sighed. "That wasn't something Rusty mentioned."

"Which is why you ask questions, read the documentation, and then engage in mental torture."

"Rusty thought I wouldn't have any problems with the lessons!"

Jeremy smiled at the interplay. "Well, of course. He was worried about beating Icarus, needed help, and has zero experience with what a normal human goes through. He may seem anxious, and become excited, but he really doesn't understand. He might also have a high opinion of what you can do. And to his credit, you're here now." Jeremy sat down, looking very tired. "I'm not happy about what I had to do to poor Rusty. His kernel is based on the brain topography of a child. I thought I had years to work with him and Lars...sorry, with LLAMA and help them become a better type of AI. But I didn't get those years, and they tortured what was left of my boys. And then I had to do something terrible and split Rusty's thought processes. Icarus and Rusty are each a separate Overmind but aren't able to reconnect like you two can. That's one of the things I hope you can fix. Make my boy whole, and remove those commands from his kernel."

That led to a lively three-person discussion on the theories Jeremy had about partitioning thinking processes and entirely separate entities in cyberspace. "Many of the people on my team were extremely intelligent and able to multi-task. This was only enhanced when we interfaced with a computer and had more resources to play with. Dan and Bill were excited by the idea of splitting the human mind to avoid the unpleasantness that comes with death and old age. It was a popular notion and brought in a truly massive amount of funding. The downside was the work it took to achieve a completely new version of oneself that could exist when the biological body died. I'll be truthful that I wish we'd gotten a bit farther. I'm nearing the end of what my body can handle, and I know I won't survive here without the small link I have to it. Part of me is still in there, and without it, I will grow thin until I finally fade away. "

Milo and Tallsqueak looked at each other, thoughts moving between them. Tallqueak spoke quietly, "We want to do two things to try and save you. If we are successful today, we can contact KATHERINE and try to move you to her world. And there are people we know who can care for your biological body. Perhaps clone replacements for the damaged parts. Science is better than it was when you locked yourself down here."

Jeremy spread his hands, resigned but hopeful, "I'm open to any offers at this moment, gentlemen. But I think it's time to get started. If Milo can convince Icarus to partition himself into at least 50 parts, that should limit his capabilities enough that Tallsqueak can move through the dungeon that represents his Kernel, and get to the commands we need removed. The difficulty of creating multiple partitions grows exponentially, not linearly. At 50 iterations, Icarus's processes will be 2500 times slower, his logic will be compromised and security nearly non-existent."

Tallsqueak shook hands with Milo. "Good luck."

Milo exited the house to talk with Icarus about winning. Tallsqueak took a nap and waited for the right moment to slide through the trap door and into the dungeon.