Thief of Time

“Lesser Half.” Claud bobbed his head. “I daresay you were just a bit too slow to witness me cracking that open.”

The crowd that was staring at Claud and Lily rippled with horror, fascination and a feeling that he couldn’t quite put a finger on, and Claud rubbed his nose. Before he could add more words, Lily said, “Thanks for coming so promptly, though.”

“That is the least I should do,” Lesser Half replied. “I should really have left my throne the moment I heard someone was going to enter, though.”

A person rolled out from the rift at those words, and Count Lostfon kissed the ground twice, before getting up in a dignified manner. “Lord Lesser Half, we’ve arrived?”

“A bit too late, regretfully.”

Count Lostfon looked around him for a few seconds, and then promptly walked over to Vacuos. “Vacuos, you old coot. I’m finally here.”

While the two counts talked about random things, Lily said, “Do you want to hear what happened inside that place?”

“Definitely,” Lesser Half replied gravely. “Lord and Lady Primus, would you two like a drink in my Divine Kingdom? It so happened that I desire to fulfil my promise regarding visiting the little ones…and you did save a good number of them too.”

The crowd stirred again, and Claud felt the back of his neck tingle as the bigshots fixated on him and Lily. He had the feeling that a whole lot of people were going to trample down the entrance of his shop very soon, and if he didn’t take this chance to vanish…

“Of course!” Claud replied. “Thank you for your offer. Let’s go before the others stop you, me and everyone else.”

“Indeed. Lostfon, come with us.” Black cubes appeared underneath the count, who was undergoing a not-so-touching reunion with Count Vacuos, and then swept him away into the rift. At the same time, a rippling mirror appeared in front of Claud and Lily, and the two of them stepped towards it.

Claud couldn’t sense any danger targeted at him, so he led Lily forwards and into the mirror. It was a bit weird, walking towards something that seemed obviously so solid, but again, the two of them had just walked into a purple dome not too long ago.

Besides, this place was probably safer than any other place right now.

Darkness fell as he and Lily stepped through the mirror-like rectangle, lasting for a brief moment before a vast field popped up in front of him. Small houses, built at regular distances, dotted the field, their round tops reflecting the faint yellow radiance that presumably served as sunlight.

People — normal people — went around their business, and children chased after each other as they played little games of tag and hide and seek.

“…This is Lesser Half’s Divine Kingdom?” Claud asked.

“Indeed.” A person made up of black blocks appeared next to him. “This is my Divine Kingdom. It does not look all that different from a regular, rustic place, doesn’t it? And yet, the people who dwell here are…very different from the people in the main world.”

“Very different?”

“Yes. Speech, for instance, isn’t a thing here. You may not know this, but my people communicate through thoughts. It is a quiet world, physically speaking, but my children have developed a very vibrant mental world, full of nuances and meanings.”

“Hmm.”

“Regretfully, my Heralds, my older sister and I are unable to speak to them in that manner,” Lesser Half murmured. His voice was gentle, and Claud felt the urge to sleep grow stronger within him.

“Isn’t that a problem?” Lily asked.

“Indeed.” The rift filled with black cubes rippled with amusement. “For that reason, we try to minimise contact with them. To my people, we are people up high, who guarantees the prosperity and happiness of everyone within this world. While adoration is by no means unpleasant, it is often lonely. If not for my sister’s company, I believe I may have…changed over the past few thousand millennia.”

Claud nodded, before stifling a yawn.

“Yes, you must be tired. There is a place for heroes like you two to rest in. It has ample privacy, and I will not peek into it.”

“You could have left out that last part,” Claud replied. “Now I’m worried you’d be peeking.”

“You’d be surprised at how many times I need to say this. Oddly enough, my people and my heralds are very concerned with whether I am peeking on them while they procreate. It is astonishing just how much influence the mere possibility of me peeking on them, an infinitesimal possibility, has on them,” Lesser Half murmured. “I have grown used to adding that just to reassure my subjects that I do not, in fact, have any intention on peeking on them.”

“That’s really odd, then.” Claud tilted his head. “Why would they have such a fear?”

“Maybe due to the prevailing norms and words. Some places apparently like to claim that the Coloured Gods are watching over everyone at all times,” Lily replied.

Count Lostfon’s head popped up from the ground before Lesser Half could reply. “Help!”

Everyone else stopped at that weird sight, and Lily asked, “What are you doing down there?”

“I don’t know.”

“Hmm.” The humanoid mass of black blocks gestured, and Count Lostfon appeared on the ground properly. “Interesting. It seems that your point of entry and exit was affected for some reason. Are you carrying anything that can distort space?”

Lesser Half looked at him — probably, anyway — for a few seconds, and then made a low noise. “Doesn’t seem like it. There is the possibility that someone tried to sneak in with you, which resulted in this abnormality…fear not. Nothing funny happened.”

“Oh. Good.” The count sighed.

Claud couldn’t help but think that the two of them had gotten rather chummy, and a small smile rose to his face.

“What are you thinking about?” Lily asked, curious.

“That Lesser Half and Count Lostfon are very good friends. They don’t seem to have that kind of distance they used to have, really.”

“Funny how living together and sampling Countess Lostfon’s cooking does to oneself,” Lesser Half replied. “It has been an absolute blessing to be living with Lostfon.”

“We don’t even hire security guards anymore,” Lostfon added. “They’re all just people we talk to for stories and for random parties now.”

“Parties?”

“Yeah, you know. Nobles parties, except that everyone is invited,” Lostfon replied. “We got a new batch of fizzy drinks recently, and did you not talk about adding alcohol? That’s what I did exactly, and now we’re a palace that had fizzy alcoholic drinks.”

“…That is rather fortunate, I suppose. And of the Celestia Ruins…are they still covered up or something?” Claud asked, thinking about the place.

“No, why?”

“Maybe I should make a visit there again,” Claud muttered, before looking at Lily. “Might be able to understand some things there. I hear that there’s actually this market or something that I somehow missed out on.”

“Market?” Lostfon asked.

Claud nodded. “All kinds of intriguing artefacts. Weapons that are made out of pure light and seem to sever anything!”

He thought about the weirdly named artefacts that Schwarz waved around in front of his face, and then shook his head. The punk didn’t sell them to him, but again, these weapons were probably more useful to Schwarz and the others than to him, so…

Letting out a sigh, Claud said, “I somehow missed the market back then. It was quite frustrating, really.”

“Market, hmm.” Lesser Half folded his arms.

Somehow, anyway.

“What, you want to try your hand at bargaining with stallowners?” Lostfon asked. “We could disguise you as a servant and send you out to buy some food in Lostfon County if you really wanted it.”

Claud rolled his eyes. Why would Lesser Half want to do such a thing?

“Really?”

“Wait, what.” Claud looked at the divinity, and then blinked. “You really want to try your hand at haggling?”

“No one dares to haggle with me,” Lesser Half replied. While his voice was calm, Claud had the absurd feeling that he was actually expressing a child-like tantrum…of course, in a very elegant way.

“I see.” Claud rubbed his nose. “Well, that can be easily solved as long as you disguise yourself, though. But I suppose people do get nervous when they go out for the first time. Talking to people can be scary.”

Everyone else nodded.

“…You guys are supposed to rebut me, not nod along.” Claud touched his head. “But before that…shouldn’t you do some introductions for us?”

He looked at the pleasantly dim world, and smiled. “I like this place.”

“It’s so peaceful here,” Lily agreed. “If we ever get tired of the world outside, we’re going to move in here or something. That is, of course, if we’re welcome?”

“Of course, of course!” Lesser Half chuckled. “Indeed. Now, let me bring you to your lodgings first. You two have worked very hard. We will not begrudge your services at all.”

He clapped his hands once, and the world shifted.