The System Teaches You How to Be Human

Dong, dong.

As soon as midnight arrived, a series of urgent bell tolls rang out from an unknown source.

Si Yisi turned over in bed. He could smell the scent that the Toilet Ghost had released. This smell surged up like a tidal wave, filling the entire room.

“Go!” Si Yisi instinctively knew that this time, things were about to escalate. He quickly grabbed Mo Wuchang, and the two rushed to open the door and ran out, not forgetting to take all kinds of miscellaneous weapons with them. And a certain bald-headed creature pretending to hibernate like a snake.

The moment they ran out, the door slammed shut behind them. The sound of rushing water seeped into Si Yisi’s ears through the wall. He saw water leaking out from under the door, carrying the foul stench of rotting salmon. The sounds inside were like seawater flooding in.

Mo Wuchang’s face turned pale as he realized that the room was likely being flooded by the Toilet Ghost.

“Is this a ‘flooding of Jinshan’ situation?” Mo Wuchang cursed.

(TN: flooding of Jinshan = refers to a large-scale flooding caused by Sun Wukong, who is involved in a dispute with the Buddhist monks of Jinshan.)

Si Yisi’s expression was just as bad, with tears sliding down his face. His main focus was on the source of this flooding water… Toilet Ghost, what kind of water could she possibly be using?

The thought disgusted Si Yisi.

He hurriedly ran down the stairs, not wanting to stay on the third floor any longer! The system was too revolted up there!

Mo Wuchang, taking larger steps, ran faster than Si Yisi. But as he quickly descended the stairs, his foot suddenly slipped. He fell straight down the staircase.

Si Yisi grabbed onto Mo Wuchang’s body, quickly stepping on the small paper man that had tripped Mo Wuchang.

“Got you.” Si Yisi’s gaze was more dangerous than ever.

“Boss, let’s go destroy their lair!” Mo Wuchang gripped the handrail, fuming.

Si Yisi was of the same mind. He lifted the small paper man struggling beneath his feet. Tears had soaked the paper man’s features. “Take me to your lair.”

Si Yisi tilted his head slightly, smiling gently, but slowly tore the paper man in half at the waist.

“Not going? You’ll feel pain too, right?” After saying that, Si Yisi tore the paper man several more times. The paper man’s dark, bean-sized eyes shimmered with tears, and the childlike cries came from its bloody, gaping mouth.

“Ah… What kind of ghostly cry is that?” Mo Wuchang’s head throbbed from the sharp ghostly wail. He glanced at Si Yisi, who was unfazed.

“It’s useless against me.” Si Yisi slowly shredded the paper man into tiny pieces, subjecting it to a slow, painful torment that was no less cruel than disembowelment.

Suddenly, a strong gust of wind swept across the back of Si Yisi’s head; the paper man let out a joyful cry.

Si Yisi didn’t even look back. He grabbed the toilet plunger from Mo Wuchang’s hand and thrust it backward.

Slap!

The Toilet Ghost, who had come to hunt them down, had the plunger stuck to her forehead and fell straight to the ground.

“Did you flood the room?” Si Yisi asked, coming to accuse her.

He noticed a decorative vase at the top of the stairs and tilted his head with a smile. “As a token of appreciation, you can stay inside.”

“Mmm, mmm, mmm!” The Toilet Ghost had no idea that she had mistakenly wandered into the territory of the big boss. She crawled on the ground, her wet and sticky hair trailing behind her like seaweed, leaving a long water stain on the floor.

Using both hands and feet, she was desperate to crawl away from Si Yisi.

“Wah!” The Toilet Ghost felt a hand grab her leg!

“Mmm, mmm, mmm!!!” The Toilet Ghost struggled desperately, but she was no match for Si Yisi’s brutality.

She was forcibly dragged to the vase. Taking advantage of the plunger still stuck to her forehead, Si Yisi made full use of it. He shoved the Toilet Ghost into the narrow vase, breathing heavily as he stuffed the ghost inside and sealed the mouth of the vase with the plunger.

Then, Si Yisi turned his attention to the small paper man.

The small paper man had been torn to pieces, and now, the scraps Si Yisi held in his hand had turned into a new stack of small paper people, all missing limbs.

***

After all the commotion, the bald-headed creature in Si Yisi’s sleeve finally gave up on pretending to hibernate. It opened its eyes and saw a pile of small paper people with blood-red mouths!

Ah Tu: “!!”

The small paper people: “!”

Both sides were thoroughly scared by each other.

Threatened by the double glare and torn-up pieces, the small Paper Ghost, without any backbone, finally gave in. It lowered its head weakly: “Hee hee hee hee QwQ.”

Under the big boss’s intimidation, the small Paper Ghost immediately led Si Yisi to…

The Hair Ghost’s lair.

The Hair Ghost, who was leisurely combing her hair, suddenly saw Si Yisi and froze: “!!!”

She lunged at him like a fierce wolf, but… The small Paper Short was leading the way.

Her hair stood up in anger, and it immediately pierced through the small Paper Ghost, turning him into a porcupine! The Hair Ghost was cursing loudly, but to Si Yisi and Mo Wuchang, it all sounded like nonsense.

Mo Wuchang: “…?”

Si Yisi raised his hand holding the razor.

To his surprise, the female ghost suddenly dropped to her knees in front of Si Yisi with a thud, madly pulling at her hair.

Strands of hair fell effortlessly, and Si Yisi noticed that the ends were covered in translucent, glue-like blobs.

The overly proactive Hair Ghost stripped herself down to a female monk’s habit, then revealed her delicate, charming face, gazing at Si Yisi with teary eyes.

Hair Ghost: “QwQ!” No hair left, nooo!

Having witnessed the dramatic scene of a ghost pulling her own hair, Mo Wuchang’s voice became faint. “Boss, how are you so capable?”

He stared at Si Yisi’s tearful face and couldn’t help but try to gather his own tears, trying to accumulate some.

The child who cries really gets candy, huh!

(T/N: the child who cries really gets candy = the loudest/most annoying, gets the most attention.)

“Where is the Paper Ghost?” Si Yisi had realized that he had been fooled by the Paper Ghost, but now that the Hair Ghost had completely dealt with the small Paper Ghost, he couldn’t use it to deal with the Paper Ghost’s other bodies.

So he had to go directly to the source.

The Hair Ghost’s face was full of excitement as she quickly pointed in one direction. Her black eyes were filled with the joy of revenge, and it was clear that she loathed the “clever” Paper Ghost with all her heart.

“You…” Si Yisi thought it would be better to deal with the Hair Ghost first.

She had one attitude in front of him, but who knew if she would strike secretly, like the Toilet Ghost? Si Yisi wouldn’t leave any threats. This was a system’s caution.

As soon as he spoke, the word “you,” Hair Ghost seemed to understand something and nodded desperately.

Then Mo Wuchang, with a face full of disbelief, watched as the Hair Ghost used her own hair as a rope, hanging herself from the chandelier… committing “suicide.”

She even gave Si Yisi an “OK” gesture.

She couldn’t have been more cooperative.

Si Yisi moved toward the Paper Ghost’s direction, while Jia Yingrong and Chen Mengxi, after avoiding the pursuit of the Paper Ghost, quickly fled to the first floor.

***

Chen Mengxi, not as strong as Jia Yingrong, was gasping and trailing behind, while Jia Yingrong showed no concern for Chen Mengxi’s safety and quickly ran ahead.

Suddenly, a sticky, ethereal voice appeared in Chen Mengxi’s ears.

“Do you want to kill this man?”

“You’ve bet everything on him, but how has he treated you? He only sees you as a casual partner, a useless woman who can be discarded at any time.”

“Have you figured out how to deal with him? Do you want him to become your possession, once and for all? You greedy, proud woman…”

“I want to kill someone, and you want to make him yours—how about we make a deal?”

The voice, silky and whispering, drifted into Chen Mengxi’s ears, causing her gaze to waver for a moment. After that, Chen Mengxi returned to her normal state.

But suddenly, a dagger made of black mist appeared in her palm. Chen Mengxi raised her hand, and the dagger shot toward Jia Yingrong!

Jia Yingrong sensed the danger and dodged the blow, but then, an invisible force abruptly restrained all of his actions, even as a high-level player!

What…? What kind of evil creature is this?!

Why is there such a powerful ghost in such a low-level world? Why?!

The next moment, Jia Yingrong, the high-level player, had his chest pierced by the dagger Chen Mengxi was holding. He collapsed weakly, the dagger piercing through his chest without a single drop of blood flowing out.

Chen Mengxi hurriedly withdrew her hand, frantically looking around, searching for the invisible presence that had been whispering in her ear.

“What are you?” she whispered.

“Hmm? I am the world,” the voice replied, taking the shape of a shadow and materializing in front of Chen Mengxi. “You help me kill someone, and in exchange, I’ll give you a lover who will forever remain loyal to you. How does that sound?”

“He will become your dog, loving you wholeheartedly—”

Jia Yingrong stood up again. Chen Mengxi stepped back in shock, but she saw him remove the thin mask from his face, revealing a handsome face.

“Xi Xi,” Jia Yingrong softly called out to Chen Mengxi. There was no trace of impatience in his voice anymore, and the way he called her carried a tenderness and affection that made one’s heart race.

“Now, he is your dog.”

A slight flush appeared on Chen Mengxi’s face. She paused for 2 or 3 seconds, then completely succumbed to the allure of absolute control. “I agree to this deal. I hope you keep your word.”

“Of course, the world never lies.”

“Who do you want to kill?” Chen Mengxi asked.

“Shen Chen,” the shadow answered.

At that moment, Si Yisi’s heart suddenly skipped a beat. He felt as though something was watching him. But there was no danger around Si Yisi. He furrowed his brow, realizing that something beyond his control might have happened.

***

At this moment, on the system platform.

System 2333, Chi Chun, paced anxiously, watching the screen showing Si Yisi’s situation in the main system.

The world Si Yisi had been pulled into this time was a contaminated small world!

A polluted world was a dangerous existence for the systems, because the world would instinctively try to devour the systems, turning it into its own nourishment.

The small world couldn’t act directly, so it maliciously raised the difficulty of the escape game, trying to kill the systems. But system 414, Si Yisi, was still lively and active. In the end, it had no choice but to strike a deal with the protagonist, Chen Mengxi, allowing her to use the power of a high-level player, who was also the “male lead,” to kill Shen Chen; or rather, system 414.

Chi Chun anxiously paced for a while before suddenly bursting into laughter.

He thought he was worrying too much. Looking at how lively Si Yisi was, he figured the small world would end up getting the worst of it.

Just as the feeling of being watched disappeared from Si Yisi, it was as if something had whispered his name. He suddenly sneezed.

In response to Mo Wuchang’s casual questions of “Boss, did you catch a cold?”, “Are you okay?”, “Do you want medicine?” Si Yisi silently pulled himself together.

At that moment, his peripheral vision caught a glimpse of a small paper man passing by.

Si Yisi’s eyes brightened.