The King of the Underworld is Tired

“…So, you're saying you want to divorce Hephaestus and Aphrodite and match them with new partners?”

“Exactly. If you help, it will be much easier to convince Zeus, wouldn't it?”

After calmly explaining, Hera quickly understood that it wasn’t a rebellion. Regaining her composure as the Queen of the Gods, she leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms.

“You’re asking the goddess of marriage to help break up a marriage? Do you think this is right, Hades?”

“But you know that their marriage was unstable from the beginning, don’t you?”

Hera frowned slightly.

“Finding them a new, harmonious family is a duty that the goddess of marriage should fulfill, isn't it?”

“Hm… You could see it that way.”

“Hephaestus has already given up on Aphrodite. If you find him a new family, he will be so grateful to his mother that he will shed tears.”

Hephaestus was thrown to Lemnos Island by Hera as soon as he was born. Fortunately, she now regrets it greatly.

“I believe that the root cause of what happened between Hephaestus and Athena lies in his unsatisfactory relationship with Aphrodite. It even led to having a child with Gaia… If Gaia were to dress beautifully and appear before Hephaestus…”

“He might be swayed by her beauty?”

“Maybe not outright betrayal, but leaking information or granting a small favor wouldn’t be out of the question.”

Hera was quite fond of Athena, so this incident must have been a shock to her. A bit more persuasion...

“And I heard that Zeus brought a boy named Ganymedes…”

“Grr! Now he's going after boys too! Am I supposed to lose to a boy now?!”

The calm expression of the goddess of marriage changed dramatically as she got angry. So, he really brought the boy to Olympus for his looks…

“Ahem. Anyway… Zeus himself reaches out for love… or rather, for appearances, even to a young boy, yet he suppresses the love between Aphrodite and Ares, doesn't he?”

“That’s true.”

“And if you help me now, Aphrodite may be grateful for your support in her relationship with Ares and could repay you. Which means that the goddess of love could…”

“She could help me win back Zeus’s attention from that mortal boy?”

“Exactly. If things work out, I will tell Aphrodite that your support was significant.”

Whether Aphrodite lends her magic girdle, the Cestus, or gives advice as the goddess of love, it’s beneficial to Hera.

“Alright, I will add my support as well.”

“Now that we’re talking about it, let’s go right away.”

As Poseidon, Hera, and I headed to Zeus, we found the King of the Gods lying in a wide bedroom, taking a nap. Poseidon approached him and tried to wake him up.

“Wake up, Zeus.”

“Hm..?!” 

But as soon as Zeus opened his eyes and saw Poseidon…

“Who… Poseidon, Hera, and even you?”

Zeus, who had been lying down, immediately grabbed his lightning bolt and stood up, the god of the sky ready for battle. In an instant, a huge building burst apart, and fierce lightning surged forth from his hand, making its presence known.

Flash—Crack!

“…Is it another rebellion?! Poseidon, if you want to challenge me again, bring it on!”

“No, it’s a misunderstanding…”

“Sigh… It’s not what you think, Zeus.”

“…Oh, Brother Hades? Then it's not a rebellion…”

With divine power storms swirling all around, I sighed and rubbed my forehead.

** * * *

“…A divorce between Hephaestus and Aphrodite?”

“Yes, so put the lightning down. If I came for rebellion, I'd be wearing the Helm of Darkness!”

Only then did Poseidon, who had been keeping his Trident at the ready with a sullen expression, and Hera, who seemed incredulous, lower their tension. Zeus, seeing me rubbing my temples behind them, finally let the lightning bolt fade.

“Well… Ahem! Poseidon came while I was asleep; why wouldn't I assume it was a rebellion?”

“Of course, it was a situation ripe for misunderstanding, but since it involves Aphrodite, we thought we should come to a consensus.”

Talking about this in a building that was blown apart felt strange. Nearby gods murmured, and from afar, I saw Hermes hastily flying towards us...

“Sigh… Let's move somewhere else.”

“…That’s probably best.”

And so we entered a quiet room. Poseidon, Hera, Zeus, and I sat around a round table. I explained the reasons for Hephaestus and Aphrodite’s divorce in detail to Zeus. How Hephaestus had been driven to the point of trying to assault Athena, how he might fall for Gaia if she appeared in an alluring form… Just last time at the festival of the arts, he had even exposed Aphrodite’s affair with Ares, so things must have been dire.

The goddess of beauty had a child, Harmonia, with Ares, and now Hephaestus had given up on Aphrodite…

After thinking for a while, Zeus looked at me and asked.

“But why are you so involved in their affairs, Brother?”

“…I feel sorry for him, that’s all. My nephew has made many things for me so far.”

“That bident of his was quite sharp…”

Poseidon brought up the bident.

Indeed, no other weapon could compare to the bident…

“If Hephaestus has already given up on the goddess of beauty, then morally, divorcing them might be the right choice. But…”

“Are you worried that the other gods will fight over her?”

“That’s exactly the problem. If I reverse a decision I’ve made…”

The weight of the king of the gods’ words would lose its authority.

That’s why he hadn’t divorced the two until now. Of course, part of it was out of consideration for Hephaestus’s contributions, and part of him had hoped that the infidelity would eventually stop… There were many reasons mixed in.

“So we’ll just help out a little. Right, Poseidon?”

“Well, as long as I show some agreement…”

“I’ll allow it too. After all, they’ve never had a happy married life.”

Zeus stroked his beard thoughtfully once more.

“But will I be able to quell the resistance of the many gods?”

“…Send the ones who are too upset to the Underworld. Those driven mad by lust for the goddess can be properly educated.”

“Are you sure? Sending too much work to the Underworld…”

“Sending too much work? I’d say I’m actually reducing it.”

In truth, I didn’t think there would be too many like that. With me, Zeus, Poseidon, and Hera issuing a stern warning, who would dare openly complain?

“…Fine. That’s how we’ll do it. Summon Hephaestus from the Underworld for now. I’ll also gather the gods of Olympus.”

“Good. You’ve made the right choice.”

* * *

“…After much consideration, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s best to sever the bond between Hephaestus and Aphrodite here.”

In a gathering of most of the gods, Zeus announced their divorce.

Let’s see… Aphrodite couldn’t hide her look of joy, while Hephaestus sighed and stood silently.

“Hephaestus, I will introduce you to a new wife. How about Aglaea, the goddess of radiance?”

“Yes. I will follow my father’s will…”

Aglaea, the goddess of radiance.

One of the three daughters born from the union of Oceanus, the Titan who rules the seas, and Eurynome with Zeus.

The goddess with beautiful sea-green hair waved to Hephaestus. The god of the forge seemed somewhat satisfied as he looked at her face. Although she couldn’t quite compare to Aphrodite, Aglaea was still very beautiful…

Aglaea subtly pushed her way through the gods and linked arms with Hephaestus, smiling.

“Hephaestus!”

“Hmm. Yes…”

“The necklace you made for me last time was really beautiful!”

Although Hephaestus was the god of blacksmiths, he also held dominion over fire and volcanoes, giving him very high status. No matter how unattractive his face was, as one of the twelve Olympians and the legitimate son of Zeus, it wasn’t like there was no demand for him.

Aphrodite and Ares, on the other hand, seemed overjoyed…

The problem was, as expected, the other gods. It began with Hermes’ question.

“Um… Father, didn’t you say last time that Hephaestus was Aphrodite’s husband?”

At that, Zeus’s expression turned sour as he glared at Ares and Aphrodite.

“Those two are inseparable! They even had Harmonia and Eros together!”

Despite Zeus’s sharp gaze, Ares and Aphrodite didn’t seem fazed. In fact, they shrugged, as if they were willing to accept that level of reproach.

“Imposing unwanted love was my mistake! However, if anyone starts unnecessary disputes over Aphrodite, they will be struck by my lightning!”

Rumble!

With Zeus’s fierce warning and the watchful eyes of Poseidon, Hera, and me, no minor gods would dare fight over Aphrodite.

I’ll have to tell Aphrodite to tone down her seduction of the other gods… Though there’s nothing to be done about Ares, we’ll have to control the seeds of discord.

Still, the problem lay with some of the higher-ranking gods who were mesmerized by the goddess of love’s beauty.

“Aphrodite, if you ever get tired of Ares…”

“Hermes, Minos’s granddaughter Apemosyne, whom you forced yourself upon, is in the Underworld… Should I bring her here?”

“Wha?! No, that’s…”

“Ahem, Uncle Hades. Unlike Hermes, I could make Aphrodite happy…”

“Apollo, the nymph Daphne, whom you turned into a tree, must be weeping in the Underworld.”

“That was because of Eros’s arrow… Actually, never mind.”

Poseidon had given up… Then there was another one with a suspicious look.

Ah, Dionysus was over there.

I glared at him.

…....

With my silent signal, Dionysus quickly averted his gaze. Fine… The Underworld is full of those who died in madness thanks to his wild festivals.

“Haha…”

Ares… Well, he already has children, so we’ll let that slide… I took one la

st look around at the other gods.

Let’s see, wind gods, or maybe river gods under Demeter’s authority…

Wait, aren’t most of these gods just a bunch of rogues who do as they please?

Especially considering that the king of the gods, Zeus himself…

“…Ahem! This concludes the meeting! The wedding of Hephaestus and Aglaea will be held on Olympus…”

There are so many gods in Olympus, but why are there so few decent ones?