For the Record

“What are they even doing out there?”

I stretch unnecessarily on my throne. Sure, Vivi has given me some nonsensical reports before, but…

“Celebrating, my queen. Specifically, celebrating my queen.”

…

“Oooooookay? And why are they doing that? Shouldn’t they do that every day? Wait, why aren’t they doing that every day!?” I exclaim. “They exist because I made them! Well, the dungeon monsters anyway… but the adventurers should be celebrating too!”

“Would you like them to?”

I sigh as the uninvited speaker appears in a pink mist. Because of course she does.

“Is it something you’d be forcing them to do?”

“Of course!” Eros chirps noncommittally. “They already do whatever I want them to. If I want them to do anything, anyway!”

I see. She mostly just lets them do what they want… That’s good I think? I’m not sure how exactly Izzy would have reacted if she found out that one of my minions is crushing the humans’ free will, but that damnable demoness isn’t me, and I didn’t ask her to do any of this, right? Right. So it’s not my fault. It’s definitely not my fault.

Right?

I sigh quietly. Izzy isn’t even here, not really. I still have Hades, but in some ways she feels more like a reminder of what we used to have than my wife herself. But I’d still promised all those years ago, and even if that’s all I have left of her, I want to respect that memory.

At least Hades is affectionate, I guess.

My centipede knight is still waiting, so I address her. “That’s all then? You don’t have any more to report?”

“No, my liege, that is all for today.”

I see.

“And they’re not going to… I don’t know, do weird things or something if I show up? To their celebrating I mean.”

The pink demoness at my side perks up. “Oh, you’re going to go? I’m sure they’d love it! Especially since it’s about you. You like celebrating yourself, so you definitely should!”

I’m just going to ignore the quiet “at least you always did before” she added at the end.

And then her face drifts into a sinister smile. At least it looks sinister to me…

Oh no.

***

There are no words for this, none at all.

Well, not any that I have.

“Why did I agree to this again?”

The woman behind me continues playfully pushing me by the shoulders toward the crowd of children in front of whatever kind of booth thing in front of us. It looks like what the people behind it have planned isn’t even happening yet!

And that’s not even including all the sugary things from other street stalls she kept feeding me, insisting I “should at least try them” for some reason. They don’t even have any mana!

…But I guess at least they were sweet. Izzy would have loved them. Probably.

Hades, on the other hand – the hand she’s not holding, that is – absolutely did love them just as much as her former self did.

Before she forgot herself.

…

“Oh hush, Astie!” the woman behind me chirps – one who definitely isn’t Eros disguised as what I assume is supposed to be a gorgon housewife.

…A gorgon housewife with an unexpectedly large amount of skin showing, who insisted very strongly that I should adopt my old childhood form for “important reasons”.

And those “important reasons”? Ha. She wanted to do the same thing Livvie always did and dress me up like a doll, and here I am in some kind of pink frilly lacey thing with far too many ribbons and bows. It’s an odd contrast considering all but my face is covered with the fabric ornaments while the demoness seems intent on bypassing the imagination of every mortal we’ve walked past entirely by just showing them the actual goods.

“That’s the goal!”

“Yeah, I’m not going to even pretend to be surprised.”

Ah, the mortal larvae’s howling seems to be reaching a fever pitch.

Without warning, the panel door on the front of the wooden stall slides open, to show…

A completely black background, with a sock waving around in front of it.

Well, a sock with a hand in it anyway. And a face painted on.

“Hello boys and girls! A fine Starsday to you all, yes yes indeed, fine indeed indeed!” a voice unquestionably beneath the sock… person says.

The children vary somewhere between actually answering it or cheering incoherently…

Which doesn’t particularly surprise me.

But the ‘sock person’ continues, “I have no doubt, no doubt at all that you all know, all of you, know, why we’re here today! Yes, here here, indeed here! But I’m going to tell you again, again again yes, the story…”

A variety of lights suddenly sparkle through holes in the black backdrop.

“OF OUR BELOVED AND GLORIOUS PATRON, AND HER GIFT OF THE NIGHT SKY!”

***

“Okay so, that wasn’t half bad I guess.”

Not at all accurate, considering their legends seem to think I did single combat with the god of vampires (who was, of course, holding the stars and all the peoples of the plane as prisoners), and slew them, and then threw their body into the sky to make the stars return? I have no idea how exactly they connected that nonsense to moonlight killing bloodsuckers, but…

Well. Mortal things, I guess? Do they need to be right?

They just need to worship me.

(Yeah, zero surprise there,) Nyx resonates in my mind.

What, you’d be happy… enough too, wouldn’t you? And I’m not wrong! The legends don’t need to be right; they just need to keep those prayers coming in, and for that they’re working!

And there’s a genuine and whole-hearted Nyx sigh. Have I missed those? I think I may have missed those.

What I absolutely haven’t missed are the puppy dog eyes Hades has been giving me ever since the puppet show.

…

I mean, sure, she doesn’t have memories of any of that happening, but… don’t tell me she thinks any of that is true!?

“Uh.”

Blinking, I glance at the source of the sudden confusion…

To find Callian, Rosalie, and Frederick in street clothes, staring with their jaws practically on the ground… no doubt at my own ‘special attire’.

And probably the nearly naked ‘gorgon’ clinging to me as well.

Before I have a chance to respond, all three simply turn around, white as a sheet, and detour very quickly down a side road.

…

…

“Wait, what just happened?” I ask no one in particular.

…Over the sounds of Eros and Nyx both laughing hysterically.